Slash by Numbers
by Shacklebolt's Mistress
Summary: After an incredibly slack period I have finished raising Harry. Moar soon. Let me know if there's a scenario I've forgotten! SWEARS AND SNOGGING.
1. Remus Recovers

Remus Recovers.

An admission takes place in the Hospital wing.

Disclaimer- I. Do. Not. Own... sadly. It cuts me up inside, but there we are...

This series is a homage to all of those fantastic 'pups get together' scenarios that are done regularly. I am trying my hand at them because I love them, but also because they are so fluffy and the other two fics I have trapped in my brain are decidedly not. They are all oneshots, but they are all cliches, and so I shall post them as a chaptered fic. Please enjoy and REVIEW. I need love, it's a difficult week ahead for me.

...

Silent sunlight lit the morning. Ten long, thin fingers lay curled atop white linen sheets. The thin frame beneath still except for the slow rise and fall of sleep. Collar bones jutted from the base of a slender neck as his head lolled gently to the side as he shifted slightly in his sleep His golden hair formed a jagged halo on the pillow. Remus Lupin was sleeping off a harder than normal transformation in the quiet, bright and peaceful hospital wing of Hogwarts castle. Standing vigil over his recovery, looking thoroughly out of place, was Remus' best friend Sirius Black.

Sirius was everything that the room wasn't. At the best of times Sirius embodied chaos but as he stood beside the bed his mane of windswept ebony hair seemed to chew at the surrounding sunlight, his dusty and wrinkled robes clashed with the smooth clean lines of the linen, his handsome face was crumpled and strained next to Remus' peaceful sleep-mask, and as Remus' hands were still Sirius' were being twisted and knotted in one another as he fidgeted. Remus looked relatively well, bandages, cuts and bruises,but only an hour before he had been a bloody, broken and torn mess as he lay curled and whimpering upon the dusty floor of the shrieking shack.

Remus was hurt terribly because he'd had a bad transformation.

He'd had a bad transformation because Moony had been enraged.

Moony had been enraged because he has to be confined to the shack for the entire night.

He had to be confined because without all of them there he couldn't be contained, and they had been one short.

They had been one short because Sirius had gone and gotten himself a detention. On a Full Moon night. He had felt terrible about it. He hated letting Remus down. He hated letting Remus down because so many people had let him down in the past. He hated letting him down because Remus had always been so dependable and he deserved the same in kind. He hated letting Remus down because he loved him so dearly. For a long while he had known exactly how strong his feelings for his lycanthropic friend were and he had spent a while trying to push away the thoughts of his soft lips and gentle, easy laughter he had before he fell asleep at night, he had tried to push away the other, positively indecent, thoughts he had of Remus in the early morning. He had tried to ignore the dull swoop of his stomach when they brushed hands in the bustling hallways of Hogwarts and tried desperately to control the frantic hammer of his heart in the quiet moments they shared in the library working on some essay or another. Sirius had tried to rail against and deny his love for Remus and when that failed he had instead grabbed hold of it with both hands and surrounded himself with it. He now spent his days wrapped in the warm blanket of his love and he felt safe and secure in it. He had started thinking of it as a strength, not a weakness, he was so blessed to have had someone as utterly perfect as Remus to admire.

And this was how he behaved?

Instead of helping Remus through the difficult twelve hours before his monthly, nightmare transformation Sirius had been putting a modified bat-bogey hex on the Slytherin students breakfast. He had of course been caught and given a detention with Professor McGonagall. He had been so stupid to risk his friends like that. Remus had been positive that it wouldn't make a difference to be in the shack this one time, but the grim glare that James had sent to him behind Remus' back and the burning worry in his own gut had disagreed. And so he had dressed swiftly and set out across the grounds to be by Remus' side as soon as the Moon set.

He had stood over Remus in the dusty dark of the shack filled with a mute horror. His blood had gone cold in his veins as he felt the warmth leave his body. Remus was a fucking mess. Sirius felt ill. He forced himself to take in the worst of the damage. There was an ugly, deep gash below Remus' ribcage that was bleeding with impunity. The fingers of his left hand stuck out at sickening angles, broken and bruised the nails torn and bleeding. His breath rattled as though his throat burned with the taste of his own blood. A small piece of bone poked painfully and unnaturally through the skin on his left shin. All of this accompanied a myriad of cuts and bruises that littered almost every inch of Remus' body.

Moony had been so out of control that James and Peter had been unable to stay with him in the night. Sirius sank to his knees and cast a sleeping spell at his friend, lest he should wake up and feel the pain of his immense injuries. He began to quietly heal the smaller injuries until madam Pomfrey came and levitated Remus to the hospital wing. Sirius stayed behind and stared with blazing eyes at the pool of drying crimson at his feet. He was afraid. Remus really could have died. He would have died and the world would have lost one of very few bright points. Though Sirius was named after a star he knew that Remus' caring and kindness shone brighter than his namesake and warmed all those around him. Sirius was suddenly painfully aware that life was unpredictable and must never be taken for granted and he decided then and there that today he had to confess to Remus how he felt and hope that if his feelings weren't reciprocated they could remain friends. He had strode purposefully out of the shack straight backed and confident. He ranged across the grounds with the quiet grace of a man on a mission that cannot fail, through the halls his certainty that Remus felt the same for him grew with each step and with a steady hand he pushed open the door to the ward.

The warm air hit him in the face. The icy hand of fear grabbed at his intestines and he suddenly felt very, very stupid. So instead of waking Remus with a searing kiss he had taken his place beside Remus' bed and began agonising. This is exactly what he was doing when Remus awoke.

"Good morning, Padfoot. If you keep pulling faces the wind will change and it will stay that way." Remus joked quietly.

"er…ugh. Th- mmmm" Sirius cleared his throat and tried again to harness the power of speech "Yep. Er, I mean, no. I mean. Good morning, Moony."

Remus looked very worried and lurched forward to pull Sirius into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay, Pads? What have they done to you? Did Snape confound you? Did you hit your head?"

Remus had one hand wrapped tightly around Sirius' upper arm and the other on his forehead. Sirius, for his part, was staring strangely at Remus' thin chest that had been uncovered by the sudden forward movement. There was no blood anymore, merely scars and milky skin. Remus followed Sirius' eyes to his chest but both stayed frozen in an awkward tableau until Sirius raised a shaking finger to gently trace around a bandage that sat below Remus' ribs. Remus' breath hitched at the touch and the sound almost drowned out the incredibly quiet words Sirius spoke.

"Sorry, Moony. It's my fault." His voice wavered as tears pooled in his grey eyes. "I wasn't thinking, and I put you in danger. I'm so selfish and stupid and the only good thing I've ever done, the only smart thing in a history of foolishness, was cast aside for a prank and in those few seconds it took for me to get caught…"

"Padfoot? What do you mean?" Remus asked still clutching onto Sirius, his other hand had now dropped and was holding Sirius' free hand in his own. Sirius glanced down at Remus' hand in his and lifted it up to his lips. He kissed it with infinite tenderness.

"I love you, Moony. The only smart thing I've ever done was to love someone as perfect as you. I love you, and I nearly got you killed. You almost ripped yourself apart last night. I just-"

Sirius was silenced by Remus pressing hot, soft lips against his. Remus' hand gripped his arm harder as the werewolf growled and deepened the kiss. Sirius wasn't sure, but at some point in the last sentence he was convinced he had died and gone to heaven. He sighed happily. Remus chuckled before he looked into Sirius' eyes and ordered the boy to lay beside him.

"We are both too tired Sirius. We'll sleep now, here in each other's arms and we can talk later." He settled down with Sirius' head on his shoulder.

"There will be more snogging though?" Sirius asked sleepily.

"Of course," Remus chuckled as he kissed Sirius' nose, "now sleep."

Before Sirius fell asleep in Remus' arms for the first of a million times he made a quiet resolve to never let impulse lead him down the wrong path. A path that led away from Remus.


	2. The Man Who Knew Too Much

Disclaimer- we all know they don't belong to me… because if they did these stories would have appeared in print and certainly would not be languishing in this wonderful yet isolated corner of the internet…

This is a reminder to all my lovely readers that the following story is not a continuation of the last chapter but an entirely separate story, they are only posted together because they are clichéd situations and accounts of how the pups got together. Read on and enjoy remembering to keep hands and arms inside the story at all times, no flash photography and please show your appreciation by feeding the author a review.

The Man Who Knew Too Much.

In which James is a git who knows too much for his own good, and in the end may see enough to scar him for life…

_It's really pathetic, you know? They are just so dense, both of them. I mean Remus, he's a genius. He studies hard and puts the hours in but he doesn't have to. He's mastered spells and theory that most people never even know about, he's managed to live through a horrible accident, the permanent and painful consequences and any cruel and unusual treatment the ministry can dream up but he's still an ace bloke. Kind to a fault, gentle, charming and he's just as mischievous as the rest of us, but he can't help but win people over. Sirius can be loud and obnoxious, he's gruff in the mornings and hyper at night. He's flawed in so many ways, but they are all endearing. He would lay down his life for any of the marauders, he's so provocative but innocent at the same time. You can forgive Sirius anything – sadly he knows this. He's also fragile and prone to bouts of melancholy. I would too if I had to survive my childhood rather than enjoy it. Both of them are great, my best mates, sharp and witty, strong and resolved to do right. But they are both so fucking blind that I can't sit by passively anymore. I can't watch them duck and weave and dance around each other. I can't see them so busy trying to hide the want in their eyes that they can't see it in the others. I can't witness another quiet moment when despair is writ large on Remus' face because he is clearly thinking his feelings are unrequited and I certainly don't want to hear Sirius pant Remus' name in the dark when we're home at break and he's forgotten to cast a silencing charm. They deserve to be happy. So I am going to do something about it. But I may need some help…_

James Potter stood from his seat in the quiet part of the library. He had been deep in thought, but now he was a blur of activity as he set out in search of Wormtail. He found him out in the grounds reading a book under their favourite tree by the lake.

"Wormtail! I need your help." He announced as he threw himself on the ground beside his friend.

"I'm not sure if you remember, but Lily told you that if you attempted to talk to her for the next two weeks she would hex your bollocks off, and the bollocks of anyone stupid enough to help you… so whatever it is, come back in fifteen days." Peter said not looking up from his book.

"It's not about Lily."

"Oh, okay then, carry on Prongs." Peter sat up now and closed his book.

"Well." James was suddenly unsure of how to tell Peter that their two best mates were madly in love. He finally decided on the direct approach. "Remus and Sirius are madly in love and they're too girly to do anything about it. So we are going to get them together." He sat back and waited for the news to break over his friend.

"Wondered when we would. Thought you would have done this ages ago, you being a hopeless romantic and all." Peter answered conversationally.

"Wait. You knew?"

"Prongs, the fucking squid knows. Why shouldn't I. I do spend almost 24 hours a day with them how could I not notice?"

"Fair enough, now to plan Operation Naked Hedgehog."

"Naked Hedgehog?"

"Wouldn't be very covert to call it Operation-Moony-and-Pads-are-Flaming-Homos-and-They-Need-To-Wake-Up-To-Themselves-And-Start-Snogging-Each-Other-In-Sufficiently-Secluded-Places now would it?"

"Fair point." Conceded Peter.

The two boys spent the afternoon planning and plotting, stopping for small breaks to scheme.

…

Over the next few weeks Remus couldn't shake the idea that something was going on. Something hair-brained and slightly worrying he had noticed James send him a few encouraging smiles whenever he was going anywhere with Sirius. _So he know_s thought Remus _Then what's he up to?_ He didn't have time to worry about it now though, he was already late for breakfast and he had a stupidly full day of lessons ahead of him. Sirius was still searching frantically for his left shoe when James and peter had left the dormitory. It was when he heard the heavy door swing shut and heard an unseen lock on the other side of the door snap shut that Remus realised his error. _Stupid git's been planning this for weeks. WEEKS and his best plan was to lock us in the dorm until I come clean? _Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose wearily.

…

When the loud snap of the lock reverberated around the dorm Sirius had been on his knees, half under his bed searching through massive piles of stuff so useless it was no longer rubbish, it was officially 'crap'. Sirius had frozen at the sound. The last three weeks' unexplained smug smiles from James had thundered through his head. He knew! James bloody knew and the stupid arsing git had locked him in to tell Remus all of the indecent thoughts that ran through his head. _Stupid arsing git_ Sirius thought. _Note to self, set his trousers on fire the next time he looks like he's getting anywhere with Evans._ Slowly he stood and faced Remus.

…

Remus had moved calmly to his bed and started removing his Arithmancy text book from his bag.

"What are you doing, Moons?" Sirius asked as he wandered to Remus' bed and threw himself down on it. Ignoring the flutter he felt at being so close to the object of his affection.

"We both know that for whatever reason he's locked us in here there's no getting out until he lets us out so I am going to attempt to do the work that I will now miss because Prongs is a git." Remus replied, trying not to look at just how right it looked for Sirius to be stretched out on his bed, looking up at him with those deep grey eyes. He licked his lip nervously.

Sirius jumped up from the bed suddenly he had to get away from Remus, with that small flick of his tongue an unknowing Remus had set him on fire. "Well then, I might as well do what I do best."

"What's that then?" Remus asked teasingly.

"Sleep." Sirius lay down on top of his covers with his hands behind his head and in a few minutes he was asleep.

As Remus sat and studied he couldn't help but think it might have been getting hotter in the dormitory. At first he thought it was just him, but after a few simple spells he knew that the temperature had indeed risen. His robe felt heavy and uncomfortable. _That diabolical bastard _he thought to himself. He resiliently struggled on until he could take it no more. He stood with a growl of fury at James before he roughly pulled his robes over his head. As Remus did so the heat woke Sirius up.

"What's the go Moony?" Sirius asked sleepily before sitting bolt upright at the sight of a bare chested Remus.

"James. Dickhead must've put a heating charm on the room with a time release. Don't know what he's playing at." Remus was now taking off his shoes and socks so that he would have somewhere to point his eyes when Sirius inevitably took his clothes off, which is exactly what happened next.

Remus felt his eyes being dragged against his will to take in the graceful lines of Sirius' arms, the gentle slope of his shoulders and the flex of his stomach as he stretched to remove his robes. When his inky hair fell down his back Remus' eager _traitorous _nostrils picked up the scent that was the dark haired boy. Autumn leaves and the beginning of rain, a thousand laughters and cinnamon all mixed with a confident masculinity. _Thank Merlin I'm used to curbing the animal side_ Remus thought as he went back to untying his shoelaces and removing his shoes and socks. He placed his shoes neatly next to his bed within a row of other shoes.

Sirius was insanely untidy, he almost put effort into it, it was almost studied and intentional so it had come as quite a shock to him when he realised that one thing that really turned him on about Remus was his fastidiousness. The order and planning, the gentle cars and consideration from the neat part in Remus' blonde, sensible hair to the quiet reassurance of Remus polishing his shoes on a Sunday afternoon drove him mad. Even worse for Sirius was when Remus lost this control. Every year around exams Remus' hair would be allowed to escape from its assigned places as a frantic hand ran through it, his tie would be askew as they studied in the library and Sirius would inevitably be drawn into thoughts of how a soft spoken Remus would act if he lost control at the touch of Sirius' hands and lips and hips and… this Sirius decided was a bad line of thought for a bloke locked in a rapidly heating room with his topless crush.

"What's he playing at anyway? Surely there is some point to this." Remus mused out loud.

"I hope so I don't want to boil to death. It would make my mother happy." Sirius joked as he moved to sit beside his friend. Their arms touched and as they made eye contact neither of them tried to hide how they felt. As their realisation was mirrored in the face opposite Sirius and Remus smiled.

" I know something that would make your mother absolutely livid." Remus said as he slowly leant in to kiss Sirius who was beaming back at him.

"What's that?" Sirius asked just before their lips met and he couldn't actually remember any words.

Remus honey lips surrounded Sirius', trembling slightly as they made way for an eager tongue.

"If it became common knowledge that you were being shagged by a half-blood Gryffindor bloke on a regular basis." Remus answered finally.

"But where," mused Sirius with mock concern, "would I find such a bloke?"

"The same place you'd find someone who would brave anything to see you safe and happy, someone who lives to see you smile, yearns to hear you laugh. Someone who needs to hear your voice in the morning or he knows it's going to be wasted day, someone addicted to the idea of you, someone who thinks heaven must be lying in your arms, and who would gladly spend an eternity learning every inch of you body and soul."

"Where's that?" whispered Sirius.

"Right here, idiot." Remus said before he kissed Sirius again, slower and more deliberately this time. Sirius felt delirious when it was over.

"I love you so much. I have for so long. If this is a dream Moons, I'm going to be very unhappy."

"Let's see what we can do to prove this is real." Remus said with a strange light in his eyes, pulling Sirius to him.

…

Two hours later a very smug James Potter threw open the door to the Gryffindor dormitory and saw a prefect doing some things that quite frankly disgusted and intrigued him in equal measure. He swiftly closed the door again and descended to the common room feeling smug at his matchmaking prowess and more than secure in his own sexuality. _I wonder if Evans could do that thing with her tongue…_

…

Written and posted super quick for Rosewall and NowThatYouMentionIt for their great and super fast reviews. Thanks guys.

Was Remus too naughty at the end there? Perhaps, but I liked it let me know what you thought. ;P


	3. Crisis Averted?

Crisis Averted?

Not Mine.

A.N- This is the classic stuck in a broom closet dealie. R&R pretty please.

…

_Surely,_ Remus mused as he stood stock still in the dark straining his ears to hear if there were any footsteps in the hallway, _I have this shaky fire in my belly because that prank went horribly and spectacularly tits-up and NOT because Sirius is pressed up against me in this broom cupboard smelling criminally good._

To be honest this was not the first time Remus and Sirius had spent a large portion of an evening squashed in a broom cupboard. It was, however the first time it had happened since Remus realised that his feelings for the raven-haired boy were anything other than platonic. Remus had always known it; he just hadn't really _admitted_ it to himself before. So here he was a pathetic seventeen hours, eighteen minutes and thirty-ish seconds into the discovery suddenly wishing that the average broom closet was about seventeen feet wider and that this specific one was a lot less Sirius-filled. _Why do I let them talk me into these things?_ He wondered with the weariness of a much older man. He had been sitting quite happily in the common room wrapped in a massive, heavy blanket so that the only thing visible were his eyes, his hands holding the book and a few rogue tufts of hair. He had only gotten three quarters of the way down the first page when Sirius came bounding across the common room with a glint in his eye, a piece of parchment in his hand, a smile on his face and a half-formed entirely ridiculous plan in his head. Closely following him, of course were James and Peter. Sirius had stood expectantly in front of Remus. Remus had resolutely attempted to keep reading.

"Mooony… !" Sirius whined in the voice he knew that Remus hated.

"No." Remus had said simply.

"But-"

"Padfoot, I said no. It is painfully obvious you are up to something, and we all know I like a good prank as much as the next bloke, but by the looks of it, this is something high risk and as the most proficient spell caster I know exactly who is going to be doing the risking." Sirius' face fell. "And don't even try that puppy-eyes crap on me today. I've had a long day; I just want to read my book." He finished before Sirius could resort to blackmail.

Sirius spent the next few seconds staring dumbfounded at Remus before he turned and grumbled something at Peter and James who in turn looked crest-fallen and wandered away sending Remus impertinent looks. Remus was of course ignoring all of this and was mentally steeling himself for Sirius' second assault. If there was one thing everyone knew about Sirius Black it was that he never gave up easily. And so it was Sirius plonked himself down on the floor beside Remus.

"Whatcha reading anyway, Moony?" Sirius motioned towards the book in Remus' hands.

"Moby Dick by Herman Melville."

Sirius snorted.

"What?"

"You don't wanna come and have fun with us because you're too busy with this Moby's dick?" Sirius teased.

"Moby Dick is a whale." Remus said trying to control the searing blush that was creeping up his neck.

"I don't care how big it is, Moony. Quite frankly, I'm hurt you've cast your mates aside for some bloke." Sirius teased. Remus sighed; there was no way he was going to take the bait. _No, the smartest thing to do would be to just shut up, give him no ammo and he will get bored and go away… I hope_. Said the sensible part of his mind.

"What was the prank?" His traitorous mouth asked before he could keep it in check.

And so it had begun, once again he was dragged into some potentially dangerous 'let's annoy the Slytherins' prank. This time the plan was to paint the common room lilac and affix pictures of cute kittens to the walls with permanent sticking charms. So after much haranguing the Marauders convinced Remus to help them out. The plan was for James and Peter to keep lookout and run interference if necessary while Remus painted the walls and Sirius utilised the knowledge of permanent sticking charms that had gotten him into so much trouble at home during the last holidays.

Things of course had taken a turn for the worst. A series of unfortunate and almost entirely ridiculous events had transpired to cause the four marauders to be running for their lives from quite a few of the Slytherins who all knew a wide range of very nasty spells. The four had split into pairs and Remus had felt Sirius' rough hands pull him into a nearby door. So here he was, heart hammering away in his chest, panting for breath and trying not to think about the other activities that he could be doing in a broom closet with Sirius to cause the same reactions. _I need to get out of here_. Remus thought frantically. He reached out to open the door when Sirius shot one hand out to stop him and clapped the other hand over him mouth. Sirius was so close to him that Remus could see him in the gloom. Sirius' grey eyes were wide as he made a silent shh with his mouth. He flickered his eyes toward the door again before he moved his hands away. A couple of people could be heard in the hallway, ringing footsteps bounced off the walls. They were getting closer.

"Check all the doors." A gruff voice whispered.

_Oh, bugger._

"Do you trust me, Moony?" Sirius whispered painfully quietly as the steps got closer and a nearby door creaked open.

Sirius was too close for Remus to form coherent words so he just nodded slightly.

"Great. Play along, okay? But don't talk" He said as he pulled out his wand and tapped Remus and himself on the head.

"Dissimulo" he said. Before Remus' eyes Sirius seemed to sway as though he were a mirage, and when he was in focus again he looked exactly like Frank Longbottom.

"Ready?" Asked Sirius' voice from Frank's mouth as the footsteps were just outside the door. Before Remus had any chance to prepare Sirius/Frank had his face in his hands and was kissing him passionately. A rough hand tore open the door. Sirius/Frank stared annoyed and angrily at the intruders before he pushed Remus (Who had by now figured out that he must look like Alice Prewett) back into the closet and gave one last livid glare at the mute intruders. He returned to kissing Remus/Alice as he swung the door shut.

Remus couldn't help but notice as the sound of the two Slytherin students footsteps disappeared a few minutes later and Sirius tapped them both on the head again that through it all Sirius was still kissing him. He certainly wasn't complaining, but he had to admit to himself that it was strange. Good, but strange, It was when Remus realised that his hands were twisting in Sirius' hair, and that they had inched closer and were now roughly moving against one another that Remus decided that a talk had to be had, and now before it was too late.

"Erm, Sirius. This is great and all, but what exactly is this?' Remus asked as He pulled back from the kiss.

"Pure opportunism on my part?" Sirius answered "Look, I've l-loved you for ages now and well, I saw an opportunity, and goddamnit you tasted so good and if I have overstepped a line or whatever…"

"I love you too Sirius."

"… I will forget that it hap- what?" Sirius asked finally.

"I love you too, you daft git."

…

Well? What do you think? I sometimes feel like I'm repeating myself a bit. Let me know with a review if you agree or disagree. Please… Reviews are like fire, they are pretty and they warm me…


	4. Nightmare

Slash By Numbers.

Chapter Four – Nightmare.

A.N- if anyone has a favourite situation they would like me to write let me know in the reviews!

Disclaimer- NOT MINE. *sob*

…

A five year old Sirius Black sat on the thick emerald carpet in his father's study. The dying sun was taking with it the warmth of the autumn afternoon, so Sirius sat within the last triangle of golden warmth before night fell. Two year old Regulus came toddling up to his brother a grin wide on his face, a small teddy in his pudgy hands. Sirius pulled his brother into his lap and cuddled him. Sirius loved his brother, unconditionally. Regulus was a ray of sunshine. Sirius certainly didn't resent his brother, not even after his mother had changed so. Two years ago his loving mother had gone to a private wing at St. Mungos to bring Sirius a brother, but while the promised baby arrived, Sirius' beautiful laughing mother had been replaced with someone who seemed much older. She never smiled anymore and she hit and cursed and snarled and hurt Sirius. Rather than making Sirius push away the little brother that could have been the cause, Sirius clung to him all the more. Someone had to protect and love the baby, why not his big brother? Sirius started to sing a song to Reg. Sirius had heard the song waft on the autumn wind from the children in the park.

_Ring around the rosie_

_A pocket full of posies_

_Ashes, ashes_

_We all fall down._

Regulus grinned his approval and Sirius began to sing again, neither boy noticed the slim figure silently enter the room, nor did they see the grey eyes narrow in to slits, or the thin red-painted mouth contort and twist in disgust. The first indication the boys had that Walburga Black was in the room with them was when she grabbed Sirius by the scruff of the neck and lifted him roughly off the ground. Regulus went sprawling across the floor, but even at the tender age of two, he knew that to cry out would anger his mother further, so he stayed face down, crying silent tears as Walburga started to scream

"How DARE you corrupt your brother with that Muggle filth? You utter words like that in my house again boy… No, threats won't work on someone so pitiful… I'll make you learn this lesson, pull you into line boy. You are a Black and you must learn what that entails… What is and isn't acceptable… I'LL SHOW YOU."

Then Walburga Black did something that no mother would ever do to her child, something that showed just how far her madness had progressed, unchecked under the increasingly inattentive gaze of her equally mad husband. She pointed her wand at her five-year-old son.

"Crucio."

The small boy writhed and shuddered on the ground screaming at the inhuman pain that his own mother caused. His tiny brother watched on unmoving and terrified.

In the Gryffindor dormitories a scream rent the air. Remus Lupin leapt up from his bed and dashed the three steps to stand beside the bed of Sirius Black, Sixteen years old and dreaming. He was no longer screaming he was now curled up into a ball sobbing. Remus glanced around the room and saw James and Peter were both awake and concerned. Remus put up a hand to say that he could handle the situation, and that they should go back to sleep. Both boys nodded and hunkered back down into their beds. Remus watched as the dream ended and Sirius' breathing seemed to go back to normal before he turned to go back to his bed, satisfied that his friend was alright for the moment when he felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned to see Sirius was awake.

"Moony… Please, don't go. I- I can't…"

Remus smiled encouragingly at his friend.

"Whatever you need from me Sirius, just ask it." Remus said, hoping that Sirius wouldn't hear the utter and untimely desire in his voice.

"Stay with me, Moony… Please."

"Of course." Remus sighed a miniscule sigh of relief as he climbed into bed next to his friend.

"Wanna talk about it?" Remus asked. He always asked and Sirius always said no, so it came as a surprise when Sirius nodded before he shut the curtains and cast a silencing charm.

"Just in case, I don't want to wake the others." Sirius explained.

Sirius settled down into the bed next to Remus, snuggling down in the crook of the boys shoulder.

"I… I've never been entirely open about just how bad stuff was at home… at first I didn't realise that my mother and father treated us any differently than other parents. When I got to Hogwarts and found out that some people's parents loved them and nurtured them and laughed… Well, I assumed that it was because I was somehow deficient. It was my fault. I wasn't good enough or smart enough or whatever. Now I know that it's them. It's always been them…"

Sirius' voice cracked and trailed off. Remus squeezed his friend supportively feeling like a creep when his skin prickled from the contact. _Supportive friend now, Remus. Dirty kinky thoughts later._ Remus thought to himself as Sirius continued.

"I was five years old the first time my mother tortured me." Sirius said it so simply and matter of fact that you may have been mistaken for thinking he was talking about the weather. All other thoughts vanished from Remus' mind as he finally began to understand the horrific extent of childhood suffering for Sirius Black.

"That's what I dream about. I was singing to Reg… That's what hurts so much. Not the torture. I got used to that, but every time my baby brother looks at me with our mother's scowl I... It fucking tears me apart. I loved him so much and I spent my whole life wanting to protect him. Now he is like them and he hates me and all I can do is love him. I can't fucking help him; he doesn't want to even look at me. I can't fix this Remus. I can't save him. I failed."

Sirius had begun to cry through this. Deep sobs racked his body as he clung harder and harder to Remus.

"He was so innocent. We would sit and play and talk and laugh for hours. Just him and me against the world. Then I got another family… did he think I didn't want him?"

Sirius stopped talking then and just cried silently. Remus was stunned at the grief, pure and unadulterated, that Sirius was pouring from his soul. He didn't know how to fix Sirius. He wished he had the power to change things. To have Reg sorted into Gryffindor with them, to have Sirius' parents meet with a nasty and painful accident but he couldn't.

"Sirius, I know that right now things seem grim. But who knows what tomorrow holds? Reg is only thirteen for Merlin's sake. We have the time to wait and see. To wait and hope. Right now he is under the thumb of your parents. One day he will see. And we'll be here waiting, ready to help him, set him on a different path."

"I just miss him so much." Sirius was no longer crying, but tears streaked his face. Instinctively Remus used a thumb to scrape away the tears. He just shrugged slightly and fixed his eyes on Sirius'. Sirius knew that Remus was trying to tell him it would all be okay with one of his trademark reassuring gazes but soon the raven haired boy realised he had lost himself in the golden eyes of the werewolf. _Perhaps inviting the bloke you fancy into your bed wasn't the best idea of the century_. Sirius silently admonished himself, but found he couldn't look away. Remus was silently cursing himself for gawping at the poor sod who had just laid bare his soul, but was so lost in the swirling grey depths of Sirius' eyes that soon even this mental barrage fell away and there was nothing but silence and the deep shadowy pools. In the dark the two boys lay silently entwined, staring into each other's eyes. Reality seemed to have fallen away. There was nothing else, only them. Slowly Remus inclined his head and gently placed his soft, hungry lips against Sirius'. They still stared at each other as they moved their mouths and tongues together, sharing hot breath. Finally Sirius closed his eyes as Remus deepened the kiss.

It was as though a spell had been broken. As soon as Sirius shut his eyes, reality came screaming back. Remus suddenly pushed Sirius away.

"Oh my God, Sirius, that was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. Take advantage of you like that. Snog my best mate after he asked me to help him. It was wrong of me." His voice frantic, his eyes wild.

For the second time that night Remus stood and began walking towards his bed and again Sirius' hand stopped him.

"Remus…"

Remus stopped but didn't turn. His breath ragged as the grip tightened on him and tugged his arm insistently. He tried to ignore the heat in his chest, the tingle where Sirius' skin met his and the sting in his eyes.

"Remus, come back. I need you. I still need you because… I want you."

Remus turned his head slightly but still didn't move back into the bed.

"What?"

"I want you. I have for the longest time. I just never dreamed that you might want me back."

"Who doesn't want you?" Remus asked as he began to climb back into the bed. Sirius beamed at him and held out hungry, expectant arms. Remus snuggled into them. He sighed happily before he kissed Sirius again.

"I love you, y'know?" Remus whispered finally.

"I know. I love you, too. Now be a good lad and shut up and kiss me."

A little while later after sleepiness overrode the desire and excitement of stolen kisses the two boys settled down to sleep.

"Are you okay Sirius" Remus asked quietly, concern colouring the edges of his voice.

"In your arms Moony, I'll never fear anything or anyone. All will be right with the world one day. On that day we will sit and look out on the new world hand in hand."

"Of course we will. Always" Remus smiled as he captured Sirius' mouth in his own.

…

In the cell in Azkaban Sirius Black screamed and sobbed and flailed but this time he wasn't waking from a nightmare to rest in strong arms. Now he was living the nightmare and the strong arms would never cradle him again.

The guards made certain that Sirius would never forget it.

A.N- Sorry! The ending was sad, wasn't it? I just wrote this one with no specific plan in mind (did it show?) I know it wasn't fluffy… a thousand apologies. The next one should be extra fluffy m'kay? I promise.


	5. I Never

I Never…

He knew this would be a bad idea from the start…

…

Disclaimer- Not mine.

A. N- Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Been struggling with a few of these, but my stubborn streak won through. I sat down and did not stop until this was done, actual life be damned!

…

Cheeks flushed with drink, eyes sleepy with the weight of the night, Remus Lupin was still not drunk enough to think this would be a good idea. Not that he made his objections known, instead he had made a small grunt of approval. James smiled like a madman and stumbled off to find more booze. Sirius, Peter and himself waited patiently on the floor of the dormitory. It had been quite a party, the four marauders the last ones standing... well, by standing I of course mean sitting on the floor listing dangerously to one side. Frank Longbottom was going to be decidedly worse for wear in the morning and there was a group, scratch that, PILE of drunken and now sleeping Gryffindors on Sirius' bed. Lily Evans had quietly kissed James goodnight and sauntered off to her bed. James had watched her go as though she was a dream, then he had turned to the Marauders.

"Let's play I Never…"

Remus had failed to voice his disagreement, Sirius had laughed and Peter had hiccoughed. So it was they waited.

It was true that Remus was looking for an opportunity to let his best mates know the other secret he harboured. It had been a source of guilt for him that he had not yet found a way to tell his friends that he was gay. He had been aware of it for some time and had even had a few clandestine fumblings in the dark hallways of Hogwarts with suitably discreet boys to be sure. It wasn't that he thought they would reject him in any way, it was that they might then ask questions, awkward ones, like "who do you fancy?" and Remus knew that his traitorous eyes would flicker to a certain raven-haired, woefully-ignorant and painfully-heterosexual animagus and the jig would be up. At the same time he thought these things however, a part of him couldn't help but revel in an opportunity to tell his best mates the last of his shady secrets, and surely a modicum of self-control could be reached to prevent him eyeing Sirius._ I'm much too drunk to be this torn_ he thought to himself _screw it. Tell 'em now, worry later._

James returned with four shot glasses and a bottle with clear liquid in it and a terrifying dragon on it. _I hope that dragon isn't representative of the hangover this stuff gives you._ Remus pulled a drunken grimace at the thought.

"Okay lads, we all know the rules. Drink if you've done it. Only ask if you haven't. If the sentence starts with the words 'I never' you must answer it." James said in the closest approximation of an authoritative tone he could muster at this late hour. Everybody nodded that they understood, James poured the first round.

"I'll go first!" Sirius cried, "I never had a sex dream about McGonagall." He then proceeded to giggle as James raised his glass to his lips.

"That was ages ago! Years! How am I supposed to control my sub-conscious? You bastard! This means war." With that he downed the shot and refilled his glass. Remus opened his mouth to ask James a question but was glared down by the messy-haired seeker. The werewolf raised two hands in submission and muttered that he didn't want to know anyway.

"I..." Peter piped up in an attempt to deflect attention off James and lighten the atmosphere in the room. " I never had to streak in the Great Hall because I lost a bet." It was James' turn to giggle as Sirius raised his glass as though to toast his mates and drank.

"Eurgh! James where did you get this stuff? And you can stop giggling right now, I sent three-quarters of the population mad that day. They all wanted me that day…"

"I never wanted you Padfoot." James laughed.

_Oh fuck! It's fight or flight time, Remus. Which is it to be? A bit of both._ Remus watched his friends faces as he drank his shot. "That really is terrible stuff… I always hated this game. With this dreadful confession done with, I think I'll head off to bed." Remus refused to look at Sirius, but he saw realisation dawn on both James and Peter's faces before he turned to his bed, climbed in and drew the curtains.

….

Sirius sat dumbstruck as Remus lifted the glass to his mouth. Drink had curled the edges of the world for Sirius, but as he realised what Remus meant by his drinking, and later refusal to look at him Sirius was suddenly stone-cold sober. _He wants me. Or, he has in the past._ Sirius' lungs were filled with heat and he thought he would suffocate on the sheer joy that overtook his body. He couldn't help the smile that played on his face as he stared at the drawn curtains of Remus' bed. James and Peter had been staring at the curtains too, suddenly both pairs of eyes snapped back to the gently smiling Sirius.

"Merlin." James breathed. Peter just stared at both of them. "I never knew Moony was… y'know." With that Peter took a shot.

"You knew?" James hissed.

"Yeah. Saw him in the fifth floor corridor a few months ago with the Ravenclaw beater. They were, um, let's just say they were too busy to notice me." Peter cleared his throat nervously.

"Why didn't you tell us?" James demanded, annoyed that Peter hadn't let him know and allowed him to be taken by surprise.

"None of our business, is it James? It's Moony's to tell."

Sirius sat quietly staring down at the floor. Peter had seen Remus with some bloke. _What if he was just confessing his homosexuality? He's probably got a boyfriend. He might not want me at all. And if he doesn't want me, he certainly won't love me._ The grin had slipped off his face. The air had deflated from his lungs.

"I'm going for a walk, lads." Sirius announced, standing up. James reached out a hand, beckoning Sirius to sit and offered him a hopeful glance. Sirius merely waved it away as he stalked out of the dormitory careful not to tread on the snoring party-goers on his way to the portrait and the rest of Hogwarts. He hoped that the cool air would calm his mind. Sirius had loved Remus for as long as he could remember, he had only realised it recently, but the feeling had always been there. At first Sirius had been unsure about the wizarding world's stance on homosexuality, and he had eventually mustered up the courage to talk to James about it one day in Potions. He found that the wizarding world was relatively permissive.

"It would be different, however , if everyone knew the bloke you were in love with was also a werewolf." James had added sagely. Sirius hadn't told James who he was in love with, just that he thought, maybe, he might be gay.

"Don't look so shocked, Pads. You love him deeply. I can see it as easily as I see you standing before me now, you're my brother, and it's my job to know this stuff." He had added. The conversation had come to a screeching halt at that point as Remus' cauldron exploded, flying up into the air, leaving a neat hole in the roof, and a blackened and shocked Remus in its wake.

Now as Sirius walked through the early-morning darkness of Hogwarts he was torn. He knew that Remus was also gay, he knew that he loved Remus, and he knew that it had taken Remus a lot of guts to tell them the way he had. Sirius also knew that he should use similar courage to go to Remus and tell him. He was terrified that he would lose a friend. He walked for hours, until the black of night turned to a dull pre-dawn grey. He had been mulling it over and he had decided that inactivity was unbecoming. He would do what he always did. He would face this head-on.

…

"Budge up, you great lump." The voice hissed in the grey light. Remus woke with a jolt. He sat bolt upright and clashed heads with the intruder.

"Ouch, fuck, Moony!" came a whispered cry as long limbs flailed and the unknown shadow-man got tangled in the blankets and hurtled towards the floor hitting the deep red carpet with a thud. For a few seconds there was no noise, save for the heaving breath coming from the pile of blankets that also harboured a person. Finally Remus shook off the shock.

"A-Are you okay?" he asked tentatively as he got off the bed and approached the lump. He reached out a slender hand as his eyes adjusted to the gloom. From this close he could hear that the person was giggling underneath the blankets. The giggle escalated until it turned into a muffled, yet distinctive laugh.

"Padfoot?" Remus retracted his hand as though he had been burned. Sirius finally sat up, shaking the blankets from his head. His smile shone through the gloom as his laugh boomed louder, now free of its fabric prison.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked as Sirius stood and moved over to the bed.

"I can't sleep in my bed." Sirius gestured with a thumb to the pile of people on his bed. "People will talk, Moons. As far as I can tell there's eight people on my bed. Eight! If I sleep on top of 'em all James will say I shagged them all, an impressive feat I admit, and it would be a personal best… Also, it looks uncomfortable. I can't sleep next to James because he snores like a freight train, and Peter… well, I don't think Pete's washed his pyjamas this year, and… Well, Moony, we need to have a chat, don't we?" Sirius said that last bit quietly and gently, but the fear was evident in Remus' eyes.

"Don't freak out. Just a little chat. Now lie down." Remus lay down without comment. Sirius replaced the blanket and slid in next to his friend. As their legs knocked together Remus' breath hitched and Sirius almost lost his nerve. Moony was not comfortable and Sirius hated pushing him, but this had to be done, so the animagus steeled himself and began.

"Earlier… the thing you said. What did you mean by it? Did you mean that you found me attractive because you're gay or did you mean that you… you, um… well, y'know." Sirius asked haltingly.

Remus didn't answer for the longest time. Sirius was afraid for the answer, but impatient at the same time. He knew that he must be gentle and patient or Remus would clam up and the stubborn git would stay that way indefinitely. Finally the werewolf just shook his head.

"I, please Pads, why do you want to talk about his stuff now? Why?"

"It's important to me, Moony, your answer could make me the happiest bloke in the world."

"What if I have the wrong answer and you hate me?"

"I don't think I could hate you."

"Well, you've never put your mind to it before…"

Sirius laughed now. "Enough double-talk." He declared as he closed the infinitely small distance between them. He raised one slightly shaking hand to Remus' face and pulled his face toward his own. His eyes dropped to Remus full and trembling lips. "I love you, you daft git, and if you say you love me too, that would be the right answer." Remus didn't get a chance to answer. Sirius was kissing him, infinite gentleness mixed with a slow longing and Remus couldn't have answered if he tried. At this point he couldn't think. Sirius was kissing him as they lay side-by-side in the cool of early morning and Remus was terrified that he would wake up at any moment so he intensified the kiss, somehow ending up on top of Sirius, tasting the other boy, his hands hungrily learning the contours that his eyes had learned over the years. Finally Remus couldn't stifle a yawn. Sirius stopped kissing him and made him lay down beside him, his arm around Remus, Remus' head on his chest.

"Sleep time now, Moony."

"I love you, Sirius. I didn't get a chance to say it through all the snogging…"

"There will be time for declarations of love and more snogging tomorrow, sleep now." Sirius placed a small chaste kiss on Remus' forehead as he closed his eyes. Soon both boys breath formed a slow, steady rhythm.

….

In the morning as James and Peter ushered people out of the dormitory they couldn't hold back smiles of joy. There were a few whispered declarations of 'I knew it!" and a lot of smiles at the two sleeping boys, soon to be the star couple of Hogwarts.

…

Okay, it's done… but is it any good. I have to be honest and say I felt mighty rusty writing this one. Did it show? Let me know in a review.


	6. Everybody Else's Secret

Disclaimer- Not mine. *Sad face*

A.N- I hereby dedicate this to HarryPotterResidentEvilFanJnL for the idea for this fic. I hope she likes it!

…

Everybody Else's Secret.

Hogwarts had a secret. To be honest Hogwarts had a lot of secrets, some were enormous, some were very small, some were lovely and others malicious. If the legends were to be believed Hogwarts had a whole chamber filled with them, but this one specific secret was special because there were only two people in the whole school who didn't know it. Which is unusual because the secret was about them, so why didn't they know?

The answer is simple, they were too busy being distracted by work and pranks and food and exploring and friends and jokes and laughter and sunshine and sometimes pain and deeper, darker secrets and the moon and stars to realise the secret, to notice that they were in love. Over the years Hogwarts had settled into a smug kind of silence as the boys lived oblivious to their feelings, and waited patiently for the day when Sirius Black and Remus Lupin finally shared everybody else's secret.

…

Hogwarts had to wait four years, three months and eleven days before Remus realised that maybe he had feelings for his best friend, romantic ones.

Remus was sitting in the hospital wing after a bad transformation, he had been in the ward for four days now and was seriously beginning to miss the hustle and bustle of school, the ringing hum of the Great Hall at mealtimes, the frantic running and infinite stealth employed in pranks, he missed James ogling of a certain red-head, he missed Pete's whoops of triumph when he would beat yet another challenger at wizard's chess. Most of all Remus missed Sirius' laughter, and his dirty jokes, and his flirting, his hands as he gesticulated wildly, and the scent of the boy's hair as he flicked it around rakishly. _Wait, what? _Remus suddenly sat up, his eyes wide and wild. _Did I just think that I miss the way Sirius' hair SMELLS?_ Remus did a quick mental summary again and came to the conclusion that yes, he had thought that. _Why in Merlin's name would I miss his hair?_ To his horror Remus realised that he missed everything about Sirius. This of course led to a very tentative review of Remus' feeling for his friends individually. Remus admired Peter for his sense of humour, his easy attitude and his sensitivity. Remus respected James' stubborn streak, for although it meant James could be the biggest arse on the planet sometimes, it also afforded him tenacity and an inner strength. He also loved James' childlike optimism. When Remus began to consider Sirius he found that there was no way to accurately pin down exactly what he admired about the boy because there wasn't anything he didn't know or love about him. He found that he could recall every tiny piece of Sirius, there was not one thing he hadn't memorised about the heir to the house of Black. _Dear Lord_ Remus thought _I've turned into one of his groupies_. That day Remus made the decision to push the feeling deep down inside himself, after all he was used to keeping secrets, and would live with the occasional thrill he felt when Sirius was around. Not because he was in any way ashamed, he had always been different, this was just something else on a growing list, no Remus was terrified of losing his friends. He wasn't afraid of anything except for the thought of being alone for the rest of his life. _He must never know_ he decided.

…

It was five years, seven months and twenty-seven days before Sirius realised that something was different about how he felt about a certain werewolf.

It was the day that the Marauders unveiled their plan to help Remus with his transformations. As Sirius transformed back into his human form in front of a stunned and slightly tearful Remus the sandy-haired boy's face had lit up in a rare and, for Sirius, exhilarating display of raw happiness. At that moment Sirius realised that he would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his life making Remus as happy as he was in that moment. Sirius decided that a life spent doing that would be brilliant. It would be warming to know that he, Sirius Black, someone who had been told from the age of three that he was nothing more than a worthless disappointment, could spend his life making someone like Remus happy. Someone like Remus… A boy like Remus. His best mate Remus. At this point Sirius began to very quietly freak out and decided that the best idea might be to change back into Padfoot for a bit, until he could get his head around this new and strange feeling.

Over the next few weeks Sirius was haunted by the swoop of his stomach whenever Remus was in sight, he was visited in his dreams by a wanton, needy and entirely BAD version of his best friend, and he decided the best thing to do about it was to redouble his efforts with the fairer sex.

If Sirius meant to 'shag the gayness out', he failed miserably. Suddenly the soft curves and rounded shapes of the feminine form were no longer attractive, the sticky, sickly gloss that girls insisted on slathering all over their lips was unbearable, and the sound of a girl panting his name into his ear in the dark was no match for the dreamtime Remus' rough growls. Sirius was no stranger to homosexuality, in the pure-blood families homosexuality wasn't frowned upon, so long as you were married and had produced an heir, a consort of either sex was almost traditional. Sirius was so afraid that he would hurt Remus, or that Remus would see, finally, that Sirius wasn't worth a damn and stop hanging out with him altogether. _Keep quiet to keep him_ Sirius decided.

…

So it continued, neither boy quite in on the secret, and Hogwarts getting increasingly frustrated with the two boy's ignorance. Something had to give and give it did, one sunny day in the boys final year. Remus and Sirius were sitting outside under their favourite tree by the lake. Remus was teasing Sirius for having fleas and Sirius was shouting something about snogging books, the two boys began a wrestling match. Strong, long limbs intertwined, laughter floated on the air as each boy sought the upper hand, faces became flushed, hair became tousled and breathing became laboured. Finally Remus used his unnatural strength to gain an advantage and was straddling Sirius and pinning his hands above his head. Remus couldn't help but take in the sharp angles of his prone friend and 'secret' crush, the way the vein in his neck pulsed hurriedly under smooth ivory skin, the feel of his muscular body beneath Remus' own, the silver of his eyes, and the way the smell of his hair mixed with the scent of the grass beneath him. Sirius lay absolutely still beneath his friend trying desperately to think of a naked McGonagall and not the weight of a very real Remus on top of him, he tried not to look at the bare bit of flesh of Remus' hip where his shirt had rode up during the fight. He certainly tried not to think of the strong hold Remus had on his wrists, the warm tingle that lurked there, or the dream he had last night that had involved something similar to what was going on here…

_Oh, bugger_.

Sirius needed to move, now. Remus too had noticed a… growing… problem and finally let his friend go and rolled away. Both boys started to teasingly joke about who had won and why the other hadn't triumphed. Neither had noticed James and Hagrid talking a short distance away the entire time they had wrestled, they probably wouldn't have noticed them at all if James hadn't called out.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE PADS, JUST KISS HIM! HE'S LOVED YOU FOR AGES AND ALL THE GIRLS IN THE WORLD WON'T DISTRACT YOU FROM HIM, SO BLOODY GET ON WITH IT!"

Remus looked thoughtful. Sirius looked livid and was about to run over and thump James when Remus grabbed his wrist and turned his around so they were facing each other.

"Why would you need girls to distract you from me?" Remus asked quietly, his eyes down, his hand still holding Sirius' wrist. Sirius prayed that he had heard hope in the question because he couldn't lie to Remus, not anymore.

"Because I… Well, you see, you're so… and I can't help but…You're just… And I'm… sometimes when you… er…"

Remus had looked up now to smile at Sirius' rambling. He squeezed Sirius' hand and murmured "Smooth" before he leaned forward and kissed Sirius lightly on the mouth.

"James was right, I have loved you for ages." Remus whispered again. Sirius' face was a study in disbelief.

"Oh, well that's good then." He said when he finally recovered the ability to talk. He stared down at where Remus was holding his hand, his thin fingers intertwined with Remus' ink-stained ones. He kissed Remus this time. The kiss was hot and filled with a strange gentle longing. It was the kiss two people shared when they were both terrified that they might awaken at any moment. Hands searched and hearts hammered and slowly they both realised that this was all real, the heat of bodies, the feel of breath and lips and tongues and teeth, and finally Sirius whispered through Remus' kisses.

"I love you too, Moony."

…

A small distance away James and Hagrid stood, forgotten for the moment.

"'Bout bloody time." Hagrid murmured.

"Tell me about it." James replied.

But the two dark haired spectators couldn't help but smile as Sirius and Remus discovered everybody else's secret.

They were made for each other.

A.N- Was it any good. At first I thought it was crap, then I thought maybe its okay. I don't know. Let me know with a review… pretty please?


	7. Staying Over  The Summer Fic

Staying Over – The Summer Fic.

Remus and Sirius are forced to share a bed due to Summer time hi-jinks. Kissing ensues.

A.N- I don't know how I feel about this one. I mean, it's okay… I hope. Let me know what you thought with a review… The bigger my ego, the faster the updates. (Yeah, that's right, bribery. I'm not above it.)

…

_Bloody Peter bloody Pettigrew… bloody idiot and his stupid bloody ideas and saying things like 'wouldn't it be funny If'… Well no, Pete it ISN'T bloody funny. Stupid arsing git._

Remus Lupin was less than impressed. He was currently hoping that two things would happen in the next thirty seconds. The first thing was that the world would very suddenly open and swallow him and two, that he would have the forethought to drag Peter into the abyss with him.

It had been a sweltering day, the boys had spent the day swimming in a nearby stream and desperately trying to avoid direct sunlight at all costs. The Marauders were together for the next seven days. The final free days of summer before they had to return to school. It was now ten hours into the week and suddenly Remus was unsure if this was a good idea. It had all started so promisingly. Remus had kissed his mother and father goodbye before boarding a train for the nearest town to the Potter's estate and walked to the house. He felt elation grow with every step, he had missed Sirius terribly. Remus had loved Sirius for as long as he could remember and he was very good at keeping that secret, thank you very much… Mind you, someone _might_ have noticed him watching Sirius wrestle with James as he sat beneath a tree and pretended to read a book, but he was obviously just watching his friends. Thank God he never had to explain to anyone what the dreams were about, or why Amorentia smelled like wet dog and cinnamon and shampoo and spring nights and the forest and the dusty floor of the shrieking shack. And now all of that was about to come crashing down… stupid bloody Peter and his pranks.

After the boys had spent a day in the shade, and had eaten their fill of Mrs. Potter's wonderful cooking, they had retired to James bedroom, which was now home to three extra beds. They had told dirty jokes and swapped stories of their holidays so far and had fallen asleep eventually as the stifling heat fought even the most determined cooling charm. Remus woke in the very early hours, his bed soaked with sleep sweat and a call of nature ringing in his ears. As he stumbled out of the darkened room and into the hallway he was almost certain he heard Pete say "Wouldn't it be funny if…" followed by a small snort of laughter that sounded suspiciously like James'.

When Remus got back to the room minutes later he found Pete and James on the floor clutching their middles and laughing uproariously as Sirius stood over them in an uncharacteristically stern manner. Remus' bed was merrily on fire. Apparently Pete had thought it would be funny to throw a wet-start firework onto Remus' sweat-soaked sheets, James had agreed with him but Sirius had not, and if Remus was totally honest, he found this surprising. It seemed like just the thing that would amuse the mutt. And this had confused Remus, and led him to not really paying attention to what was being said, so before he knew it the fire was out, the bed deemed ruined and he was being pulled towards Sirius' bed by the strong arms he dreamed about. Still the Earth refused to swallow him up and save him from what could potentially be the worst night of his life. _Not good_ he decided to himself. He had hidden his feelings so well up to this point, but for Merlin's sake he was a teenage boy and self-control only went so far so as he was pushed back into an insanely narrow bed he wondered if feigning leprosy would get him out of this jam. Then he felt Sirius slide into the bed beside him and an aristocratic hand brush his thigh and he could no longer focus on leprosy because all the blood in his body was now rushing in the wrong direction. Remus screwed his eyes shut _McGonagall naked on a cold day… Dumbledore's saggy bum…_ Remus began to frantically list everything that was definitely a turn-off but Sirius was trying to get comfortable and had taken advantage of Remus' panicked paralysis to move the werewolf without argument. Remus soon found that no matter how many staff members and Slytherins performed salacious strip-teases in his mind, nothing could detract from the fact that a very real Sirius Black was at this point using Remus' thin shoulder as a pillow. Their feet were intertwined and Remus could feel Sirius' warm breath on his neck. Sirius' hair still smelled like sunshine as the boy shifted a little to get comfortable.

"Relax Moony, I confiscated the rest of the fireworks. Go to sleep." Sirius whispered, hugging Remus in what he probably felt was a reassuring manner but all it did was send Remus' heart racing and resulted in the werewolf tensing more.

"Merlin, Moony! Are you okay? Talk to me."

"I-I'm fine, Padfoot… It's just a little cramped, y'know… and hot. You're hot… Uh, I mean you're sweating and sticking to me and it's getting harder… oh Merlin, I mean more difficult for me to relax…" Remus finally decided three sentences too late to shut up. He felt a sweaty hand reach up to his forehead.

"Are you sure you weren't in the bed when that berk threw the fireworks in? You're not making any sense! Sensible Moony can't be senseless… it doesn't work that way." Sirius joked.

"Sorry Pads, I can only imagine it's the heat. Yeah, that's it, the heat." Remus agreed with himself.

With that Sirius reached beside the bed and cast a cooling charm over the two of them.

"Better?" He asked as he settled down onto Remus' shoulder once again.

"Er, sure." Remus agreed before he tried his hardest to relax. He failed miserably. Sirius shifted a few times before he sat up again.

"It's me isn't it?" Sirius asked.

"What?" Remus asked hoping he hadn't given himself away.

"James told you that I'm… bent, and now you're worried I'll rape you when you sleep or something."

"You're what?" Remus asked sitting up next to Sirius so they were now shoulder to shoulder.

"I'm gay. James promised he wouldn't say anything." Sirius began casting dark looks across the room to the snoring figure furthest from them.

"He didn't say anything. You did." Remus tried not to be too hopeful_. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants a scrawny bookworm who occasionally becomes a snarling man-eating wolf._

"Well?" Sirius asked as Remus descended into his thoughts.

"Well, what?"

"Do you hate me?"

Remus laughed. "That would be a bit hypocritical of me, wouldn't it?"

"Being a werewolf and being gay is a bit different." Sirius began.

"What about a gay werewolf?" Remus asked turning his head to the side to gaze at Sirius, using the opportunity to drink in the other boy's features. He watched them go from puzzlement to shock to a strange smile and in between there was something else, but Remus couldn't pick it.

"How long have you known?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I think it was probably something I've always known, but it became screamingly obvious when I fell in love with a boy."

"Who?" Sirius asked a little too quickly.

"Eh? What's it to you?"

"Moony, what if we're both after the same guy? That could get messy."

"I highly doubt that scenario. You can't love this person romantically."

Sirius made a face of pure horror, he looked around tentatively before he asked "It's not Snivellus is it?"

"Oh Padfoot, give me some credit, please. I am genuinely insulted."

"Sorry Moons. Love is blind and all that…"

"Who do you fancy?"

"Eh?" Sirius almost leapt off the bed in surprise.

"Who. Do. You. Fancy?" Remus asked again.

"Well, if you're not sharing, neither am I." He pouted like a child.

"Like that is it?" Remus asked, a lop-sided grin on his face.

"Indeed." Sirius replied, wary of what Remus' smile could mean.

"Ve haff vays of making you talk!" Remus said in a terrible German accent.

"No." Sirius looked terrified.

"I'm curious, and I must know."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Moony."

"Good. I hate cats."

"Now… Think about this…" Sirius was out of the bed and backing away towards the door of the room. Remus pulled the thin sheet back from his lap and stuck a foot out of the bed.

Sirius bolted. Remus leapt up and pursued him, they ran almost silently through the house, Sirius burst out of the back door and ran into the night. Remus followed hot on his heels through the pre-dawn light. He was gaining on the animagus and he knew it. Remus wondered why he cared so much who Sirius liked, and put up a very brief struggle before he realised it was jealousy, pure and simple. A bloke had taken what he wanted and would therefore be the butt of a few nasty, yet well planned, excellently executed and untraceable pranks. Before long Remus caught up with Sirius and tackled the raven haired boy to the ground. Remus pinned him and looked down at the frame beneath him.

"Who is it, Padfoot? Tell me, or I'll tickle." Sirius Black was insanely ticklish. Sirius tried to struggle before he looked away and took a deep, shaky breath. He wouldn't look at Remus as a tear slid down his cheek.

"It's you." He whispered, "It's always been you and now you'll hate me and things will be weird and we won't be friends anymore and it'll be like the sun went out without you."

"Sirius." Remus whispered. Sirius turned his head to look at the werewolf and found him a lot closer than he thought he would be. Remus tried not to whoop with joy before he kissed Sirius. It started out tentatively, gently and slow. Remus tried to memorise each line and curve of Sirius' mouth, he tried to live within the perfect taste of the boy beneath him, he tried to put his heart and soul into Sirius with one kiss… but as I mentioned before, Remus is a teenage boy and self-control can only go so far, so before long the slow gentle kisses gave way to teeth and tongues and rough hands and urgent hips, moans and curses and grunts. Finally the boys lay in each other's arms hoping to see the sun rise on their first day together, but they fell asleep too soon, and were snoring quietly the next morning when, unfazed, James and Peter came and kicked them awake and told them breakfast was ready and could they please put on some bloody pants.

A.N- I apologise if anyone got a mental image of Dumbledore's saggy bum… sorry! Here's a mental band-aid to patch that up *sticks*


	8. Triangle

Triangle.

Disclaimer – Not mine. Please don't sue me JK, I'm poor, I'd have to borrow some of your immense fortune to pay you (I'm sure you can see the problem).

…

In which Sirius has a girlfriend, James has a confusion and Remus does too, but his is different.

James Potter liked to think he was a man prepared for anything. He was intelligent and quick-witted. He hated surprises, so he had learned at an early age to expect the unexpected. It was then, quite a shock the day that he walked into the great hall for lunch and saw Sirius snogging someone. It wasn't the fact that Sirius was snogging someone, James and the whole school had seen that in earlier years, all the time. No, it was the fact of _who_ Sirius was snogging, or more to the fact, _who he wasn't._ Sirius had been a frequent participant in the dating at Hogwarts up until half way through their fifth year, one year ago last week.

About six months ago James had asked Sirius "Why the celibacy all of a sudden?" The raven haired boy had at first tried to deflect the question but in the end he had confessed something that James had long suspected.

"I think I'm in love with Moony."

So it had gone on, James watching intensely as Sirius flirted shamelessly with their best friend who joked back but never took it seriously. James had thought that Sirius might grow a pair and just talk to Remus about it.

Evidently this had not happened.

"Who is that?" asked a quiet voice from beside James. Remus was looking at Sirius with a strange expression.

"It looks like Klio Martin, the Hufflepuff."

"Hm."

James was about to ask Remus if he was okay when the sandy haired boy looked him in the eye and said "I just remembered I've got some research to do for that Potions Essay, I'll see you later, yeah?"

James didn't have time to answer before Remus was retreating through the growing crowd.

"Jesus. Sirius. You're such a prat." James muttered to himself as he watched the thin frame of the werewolf move at speed towards the door.

"Though, I suppose it does count for something that he's so shaken…" James just furrowed his brow and moved to sit beside Peter. _Whatever you do, James Potter, do not get involved._

…

Remus wasn't sure why the sight of Sirius kissing that girl had pained him so. _Yes you do_ chided a voice from within his own head _well, obviously I just got used to seeing Pads unattached_ he countered. Remus then felt sick. Attached is what the raven haired boy had certainly been, his lips stuck fast to the glossy sweet gunk that girls slathered all over their lips. The thought sent a shiver up his spine as he thought about those glossy pink monstrosities, the shiver shot back down his spine to a very different place when Remus considered Sirius' lips. Remus had no idea what to do, it hurt him so to see Sirius with that bimbo, and something decidedly wolfish had stirred within him at the sight of their embrace. Something that was angry and possessive. Something Remus had been pushing away for quite some time now. Now it seemed he could no longer totally silence the wolf and its agitation at the something. Sadly, Remus didn't yet know just how forceful this inner wolf could be. He, and the rest of Hogwarts, would soon find out.

…

The School was still abuzz with talk of the new power couple. Sirius and Klio had been together for almost four weeks. They had been seen snogging at any given time, and Klio had been quite vocal in praising Sirius' prowess after hours, yet James was certain that Sirius was always in the dorm or busy pranking with him when these 'interludes' had supposedly taken place. The whole thing was very strange. Add this to the strange behaviour of one Remus J. Lupin and all James could figure out was that the whole situation was just giving him a sodding headache. Remus and Sirius behaved as they always had when it was just the four Marauders, giggling and flirting and gazing at one another for just that little bit too long, but when Klio was around Remus was quiet and withdrawn, sometimes making excuses and leaving the room altogether.

After a few weeks this withdrawal had graduated to a simmering dislike. Remus wasn't quite being rude to the girl… but the way in which he addressed her was a little too polite. The smile a little strained. She may not have noticed, but James had. After potions one day James and Remus were walking back to the common room when Sirius and Klio caught them up.

"Hey, poofs!" Sirius called to get their attention. Remus turned swiftly, but when he caught sight of Klio clutching onto Sirius' hand his shoulders sagged. The movement was minute and James wondered just when he had paid as much attention to anything as he had been to Remus these past few weeks. He was pulled from his thoughts by Remus.

"Just because we don't dry-hump birds in corridors in the full view of passers-by…" he growled very quietly. He was smiling by the time Sirius and Klio reached them. James had a feeling of dread. Something had to give, and soon. He was so glad he had decided not to get involved in this potential train wreck. _Thank Merlin I'm not getting involved in this potential train wreck_ he thought.

"What are you two up to?" Klio asked as she flicked her long brown hair over her shoulder.

"Uh, Moony's going to help me with our Defence essay." James said quickly, suddenly not trusting Remus to keep a civil tongue. _My God, his eye is TWITCHING_. After a quick look at James Remus seemed to calm down a lot.

"Yes. James is terrible at naming the symptoms of a werewolf." Remus said in a way of explaination.

"Sounds fascinating." Sirius deadpanned before he pulled Klio further down the hall. Sirius promised to see them at dinner and Klio flashed them a blindingly white smile before affixing her sickeningly emerald eyes on Sirius. Remus and James waved goodbye and all the while Remus' strained smile stayed in place. _Bugger it, I've got to say something_ James thought.

"Look, Remus, I don't want to get involved in whatever… that was." James waved a hand about in the general direction of where Sirius and Klio had been to illustrate what he meant by 'that', "But if you want to talk or something…" James tried not to look as horrified as he felt about the thought of Remus suddenly breaking down and declaring his undying love for Sirius and his pain at the current situation, but apparently he had failed. Remus simply chuckled.

"I'm fine, Prongs. No need to look so worried that I might take you up on the offer. And stop watching me so closely… a few people have noticed. And made up their own minds about what your behaviour means. There is a rather graphic depiction of the two of us in the fourth floor boy's loo, actually. If you do that, I promise to behave. "

James looked even more horrified. "Do _what_, exactly?"

"Stop watching me, what else did you think…" Remus suddenly realised exactly what it was James thought he meant, "Oh dear! No, not that! Oh, my." Remus went a shade that would make the healthiest tomato jealous. Both boys laughed as they continued to the dorm.

Remus kept his word, over the next three days he seemed to warm to Klio, laughing and joking and being positively charming. Rather than reassure him, this just served to make James nervous.

Very nervous.

James O'Bannion Potter had a nose for trouble, he knew it inside-out. He knew how it felt when there was trouble afoot, and could almost taste the metallic fizz of a scheme on the air. James knew that trouble was imminent.

He didn't have to wait long before trouble surfaced. At breakfast the following Friday Sirius and Remus sat beside each other as they ate their bacon and eggs when a howl shook the hall. In the doorway to the Great Hall stood Klio, tears streamed down her face as she clutched at her brown hair which had clearly been mangled. In an instant Sirius was running to her. James, Peter and Remus shared a look between each other before they quickly followed suit. By the time they got there Sirius held Klio in his arms as she choked out a sobbing recount of what had happened.

"I-I was coming out of the common room when… when someone cursed me… I didn't see who it was… it's – it's HORRIBLE… and it won't grow back!" She finally finished.

"When did this happen?" Sirius asked, his eyes steely, clearly already plotting revenge on the unknown attacker.

"About ten minutes ago… why?" She answered.

"So we know who was in the hall and who wasn't, to narrow down the suspects." Remus answered. Sirius nodded. "Are you sure it won't be fixed?" Remus asked softly.

"It doesn't work. You can try, you're better at charms than me Remus, but I'm not confident." She replied, slowly pulling away from Sirius to stand before Remus. Remus considered her carefully, a thumb on his chin.

"Hmmmm." He hmmmmed.

He gingerly raised his wand and inclined his head to Klio, silently asking permission to continue. She nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. At first Remus seemed to be playing air-piano over her head, as his long, thin fingers sought the elements of the spell.

"Oh, dear. I don't think the counter-curse will work, but I'd like to try anyway, just to see what will happen. I don't think you'll lose your hair. Is that okay?" He asked softly. She steeled herself and nodded again as she took Sirius' hand. Everyone seemed to hold their breath.

Remus gently took a piece of her hair in his hand and waved his wand over it whispering the counter-curse. The piece of hair in his hand grew to its proper length, but three more pieces of previously pristine hair now looked as the single piece in Remus' hand had moments ago, as though someone had cut it rather haphazardly with giant-oversized-novelty scissors. There was a collective groan.

"Ah, sorry about that, a Hydra trick-switch built into the curse. I knew there was another element, I just wasn't sure which one." Remus put his wand into his pocket. "Nothing for it but to wait for it to grow out from this length, or try the pixie-cut, I'm afraid." Remus said solemnly, as he patted her free hand in a reassuring way.

"What in Merlin's name is a trick-switch and what is a pixie-cut?" Klio asked.

"A trick-switch is a curse built into another curse, in this case when I used the standard counter-curse it activated the Hydra trick-switch, so that when I fixed on piece of hair three other pieces were affected by the original curse. A pixie-cut is a hair-cut that is quite popular amongst the muggles, and I think you have the cheek-bones to pull it off." Remus smiled reassuringly. Klio seemed to brighten, but Sirius was still brooding.

"What else was in the curse, Remus?" Sirius asked forcefully.

"Not much, the Hydra trick-switch is the best clue we've got."

"All of Slytherin use it!" Sirius thundered.

"Yes, Pads, but not all of Slytherin were out of the Great Hall when it happened." Remus added patiently.

"That is something." Sirius smiled, pulling Klio toward him for a kiss.

Soon all four Marauders and Klio went back to the Gryffindor table to finish breakfast. The day would bring the weeks final day of classes and that night would bring the planning and execution of a revenge prank.

Klio had gone home for the weekend to get her hair cut at a muggle hairdressers, Sirius had kissed her passionately in front of Dumbledore's fireplace, she floo'd home, still sighing, Sirius bid goodnight to the headmaster who cheerfully waved. Beneath his half-moon spectacles Albus seemed to find something dreadfully amusing, Sirius would have been worried, but then again Dumbledore always looked like that. Although the quiet chuckle and the voice saying "Silly boy," made Sirius wonder.

Not for long, however, there was pranking to be done.

The Marauders were in the war room. By war room I mean a particular corner of the Gryffindor common room, but being dramatic boys, this was the name they gave it. They had narrowed the list of suspects down to three, and had decided that an attack on all three would be acceptable.

"Merlin knows there's no such thing as an innocent Slytherin." Peter stated sagely, giving a face he assumed conveyed a quiet wisdom, but actually looked like he was in need of a restroom. The face aside, it was a true enough statement. They then proceeded to go over the new spells they had found through research. All of the Marauders were avid readers, Remus especially. Most of the time he kept so ahead of his schoolwork so that he would have the time to peruse any spell book that he could get his hands on. This is why all of the Marauders were such proficient spell casters, and why Remus was so good at curse-breaking, a lot of practice meant a lot of error and it was best to get these things sorted amongst themselves lest a teacher get entirely the _right_ idea about something and give them a detention.

Each Marauder had one veto vote each, to use whenever he saw fit. Peter used his when Sirius suggested that they sneak into the Slytherin dorm and hex rat's tails onto the behinds of the 'marks'.

"I honestly take offence to that!" Peter had said crossing his arms and huffing, "I mean, honestly, It's demeaning. Rats!"

"Sorry, Pete," Sirius looked contrite, "I didn't even think."

"Well, don't do it again." Pete warned.

James was confused. He was sure Remus had been up to something, but Remus was genuinely shocked at the sight of Klio that morning, and had handled the whole situation with his usual level-headedness. Even now he was his usual considered self, weighing up every suggestion adding his own ideas, asking questions and having them asked of him in turn. The mischievous glint that so few people knew he got was in his amber eyes, and a small smile would flicker onto his face as the more hilarious ideas were presented before being deconstructed, discussed and voted upon. In short, Remus was his usual self. _I give up_ James thought _Wait, I already gave up, I'm not getting involved_ James felt better at this decision and finally devoted himself totally to the scheming.

By midnight on Friday a plan was struck upon to be carried out in the early hours of Sunday morning. It was a cracker, and they would need some time to prepare for Revenge Plot or Operation Herringbone Trousers. The boys were going to use a modified bubble-head charm, coupled with a link and a trigger-word. In short the boys were going to make the three Slytherins smell awful, the bubble headed charm would prevent them from detecting as much, and anyone unfortunate enough to say certain words trying to describe the smell to the victim they would become, themselves, afflicted with the charm, unknowingly of course, because that is how the charm worked. The charm was also linked specifically to the Slytherin uniform preventing the charm from running wild through the school and the Marauders from becoming victims of their own handiwork. Saturday would be spent collecting a smell for each of the marks. Remus and Sirius, as Padfoot would go for a walk through the grounds and in the forest to find something suitably horrendous. Peter would search the castle, and to allay suspicion James would do what he did every other Saturday, stalk Lily Evans. So the boys slept fitfully and late. They stumbled down to breakfast in the usual Saturday morning shamble and ate voraciously. They walked casually back to the common room and Operation Herringbone Trousers was a go.

Remus met Padfoot in the grounds some time later, Sirius had gone ahead and transformed when the coast was clear, to the casual observer Remus was merely playing with a stray dog. Admittedly the dog was huge and looked like a bloody Grim, but it barked and chased it's tail and liked it's belly rubbed so it must have been an average dog. And like an average dog it sniffed the ground and rolled in smelly things and whined at Remus to hurry up. It seemed to laugh when Remus tripped over a tree branch near the forbidden forest, but that was normal for a dog, right?

"You keep up the laughter they'll figure it out and chuck you in Azkaban quicker than you can say illegal animagus." Remus whispered from his place on the ground. As he heaved himself to his feet the dog whined and bowed, tucking it's nose under it's paws.

"Stop sulking. Come on, we've found Eau De Dead-Whatsie, but we need something else."

Padfoot looked at him dolefully and sighed a deep dog-sigh before he continued towards the lake. Remus merely shook his head and followed the dog as it began a circuit of the lake. After a few more hours Remus returned to the dorm, and the dog ran into the forest chasing a bird. After a while Sirius Black emerged from a different part of the forest and made his way to the castle. The boys had had a very productive day outside, finding four potential smells, Peter had also had a productive day as well, finding two smells within the castle. James had been slapped, and shrieked at and finally spent the last thirty minutes in the hospital wing getting a rather spectacular example of a bat-bogey hex removed by Madame Pomfrey. They now gathered to pick the best three for Operation Herringbone Trousers. Out of Eau De Dead-Whatsit, Something that can only be described as squid-vomit, Brown muck that seemed to move in a suspiciously alive manner if you didn't keep a close eye on it, A purple sap from a tree that smelled so bad all of the other trees seemed to be avoiding it, some grey gunk from a drain in the dungeons and an interesting beige coagulation that so repulsed the rest of the Marauders that they dare not ask where Wormtail had found it. In the end they picked Eau De Dead-Whatsit, The purple sap and the beige coagulation. They were very careful to keep the rejects in jars and stored safely away for use at a later date. The boys slept fitfully on Saturday night and spent a cheerful Sunday being conspicuous enough to not be accused of being inconspicuous and therefore suspicious. McGonnagal had some crazy ideas, spot-on when it came to the Marauders, but still crazy. In the end Operation Herringbone Trousers went off without a hitch, Klio returned to the school looking even more beautiful than ever and James was still uneasy.

Over the next twelve days no fewer than four pranks were pulled on the beautiful Miss Martin of Hufflepuff from her being turned a puke green colour to her developing flatulence that manifested itself as bright butterflies that would flutter about until they would disappear in a puff of foul-smelling air in the face of the nearest passer-by. When any of this had happened all of the Marauders had been together. James was getting more and more suspicious of Remus, as each time the carefully constructed air of concerned friend slipped a bit. Remus had also begun to withdraw again, unless revenge was being plotted. Sirius just seemed more and more enamoured with the girl, as his frequent rants about her attested. On Saturday the Marauders were in their dorm, Remus with his face in a book, Sirius sitting on his bed charming his hair different lengths, James asking Peter the questions from a quiz in the newest Witch Weekly, in a suitably high-pitched and derisive voice, of course.

"Her hair is so soft, and she makes these noises when I kiss her that are just so… y'know." Sirius began for the hundredth time. James snuck a peek over his magazine to Remus. The werewolf had his nose as far in the book as it could go, his hands were white-knuckled where he clutched the tome. The tips of his ears had turned a terrifying shade of purple. _Oh, dear. The full moon is tomorrow. This could be dangerous._ By now James had decided that Remus must be in love with Sirius, and the usually mild-mannered boy had planned these pranks to get back at his rival. _If this goes on much longer he might just end up tearing her apart with his bare hands_. Luckily for everyone involved it didn't go on for much longer because at that point Sirius said "And she's really smart, she's got a brain-"

Remus scoffed behind his book.

"Yeah, sure Pads, she's got two of them and their on her chest. She's tricky that way." Remus had dropped his book now and was glaring across the room at a stunned Sirius.

"What"

"You heard me. She's a bimbo. You just want her because she has big tits." Remus was standing now staring at Sirius with dangerously thin eyes.

Sirius' face formed a similar expression as he leapt from the bed and stood toe to toe with Remus.

"And what the fuck do you mean by it?"

"She isn't good enough for you! She's beneath you."

"Damn straight she is." Sirius retorted.

"That's because she's an easy piece of arse!"

"WHAT?"

"I said, she's a slut!"

James grabbed Peter by the arm as the smaller boy jumped up to break up the fight. He shook his head at Pete and motioned for the door. They left unnoticed by the rowing pair.

"How dare you? Are you jealous or something?" Sirius' voice had gotten dangerously low.

Remus laughed, it was a cold, hard laugh, filled with bitterness and spite. "Jealous? That you got a girl like that? She's a dime a dozen."

Sirius punched Remus in the face.

The thinner boy's head snapped back, as he bent down clutching his left cheek. With lightning reflexes he pushed Sirius up against the far wall, slamming into it with a growl. He pinned Sirius' hands over his head. His eyes blazed and his chest heaved as he stared at the raven haired boy. Sirius was wondering exactly what Remus would do in retaliation for the punch, but what happened was totally unexpected.

Sirius felt rough lips and rough teeth on his mouth and realised that Remus was kissing him. Remus tasted like chocolate and heat and salt. When Remus suddenly pulled away to stare terrified at Sirius' mouth, Sirius realised that Remus had been crying while he kissed him. The next thing Sirius knew Remus was a blur, bolting for the door, and Sirius was very confused, and very turned on. In a few seconds James was in the dorm.

"What happened?" James asked.

"I punched him, and he… He _kissed_ me." Sirius lifted a shaking, disbelieving hand to his lip.

"Then what?" James asked impatiently.

"Huh, oh, he was rough, sweet, and salty and then he stopped and he stared at me, and he'd been crying. Then he was gone and you were here asking bloody questions."

"What are you going to do?" James asked seriously.

"Do?"

"Pads, he loves you. He's bonkers over you. Klio sent him mad with jealousy."

"_He's _been pranking her?"

"Yeah."

"That diabolical bastard. Merlin, he's brilliant though, isn't he?" Sirius looked a little punch-drunk and James wondered just how hard Remus had hit him.

"Wait… He loves me and I'm sitting here on my arse?" Sirius was suddenly back in the land of the living, "He'll be agonising somewhere, pacing and muttering to himself, and crying like a bloody girl." Sirius was now talking largely to himself as he hurried from the room to find Remus.

Remus was in the astronomy tower pacing and agonising, and occasionally crying like a girl. He couldn't believe what he'd done. Not just kissing Sirius, but doing those horrible things to that poor girl and lying about it all to everyone. All because he loved someone he couldn't have. Klio was the proof, and that's why he despised her. He sank to the floor and curled into a ball, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will away the world. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Moony?"

It was Sirius.

"Moony, please, talk to me."

"Don't want to, you'll tell me you hate me and never want to see me again and I'll have to watch you with her at meal times and each time you smile at her I'll die a little more inside, because I can't have that because she's shining and whole and beautiful an _female_ and everything I'm not." Came the muffled reply as Remus refused to move.

"If I never see you again how will I tell you that I love you? If I'm smiling at her how will I kiss you?" Sirius asked.

"What?" Remus' tear-stained face emerged from his robes.

"She's not you. That's why I picked her. I didn't think I could have you, and anyone like you would have been a poor comparison. She's soft curves where you're sharp angles, She's bubbly and a bit slow and tells terrible jokes because if she was thoughtful and made me laugh all the time I wouldn't get you out of my head. But you're beautiful Moony. You're what I want. You're who I want. You're everything." Sirius kissed Remus softly, holding him gently in his arms.

"I love you, Sirius, so much." Remus kissed back fervently.

"Shut up and kiss me."

"What about Klio?"

"Who?"

"I mean it, will she be okay?"

"I think so. She was getting a bit fed up with having to make up stories of our nights together."

"You didn't sleep with her?" Sirius tried hard not to be offended by Remus' shocked tone.

"Couldn't. Pretending will only get you so far. I told you. You're who I want."

Remus smiled his first real smile for weeks and pressed his lips to Sirius'. Deep within Remus the snarling voice purred at the feel of Sirius' wandering hands.

…

A.N- That got epically out of hand. This word count is insane! Hope you liked it! Review to let me know , or to request a particular storyline.


	9. Blizzard

Blizzard

Everyone loves the boys and snow and kissing, so it stands to reason that more snow will mean more kissing, and that you will all like that even more… right?

…

Disclaimer- Not mine, never has been. Sadface.

…

Sirius Black was freaking out.

He was, at that very moment, trapped in the shrieking shack with Remus Lupin as a blizzard raged outside. Now, don't get me wrong, Remus Lupin was a great person to have around when you were going to be anywhere for an extended period of time. He was warm and funny and no topic of conversation was taboo, he always had a shockingly ribald joke handy and he would pretend as though it was perfectly manly and acceptable for Sirius to squeal like a girl and flail his arms about whenever he caught sight of a cockroach. Remus always had a rather astonishing amount of chocolate upon his person at any given time and could recount every story he had ever read. In short Remus was amazing.

Therein lay the problem.

Remus was so amazing that Sirius had gone and fallen in love with him. Every bit of him, from his shaggy hair right down to his thin, knobbly toes, from his intelligence and maturity to his childish, and not-so-childish fears. The good and the bad, the fantastic and the terrible, Sirius loved it all. He had decided a little while ago that loving Remus was both the stupidest and best thing he'd ever done. Mind you, it was a rocky road to his acceptance of these feelings. In the beginning he couldn't quite identify why he felt differently about his quiet friend, why he was always more gentle with, and protective of the boy. Then the dreams began. Wow, they were glorious… but terrifying because Sirius finally understood. He had sulked for a week before he resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't able to change a thing about it, and also that he must never say anything to Remus because he could lose his friend, and a life without Remus wouldn't ever be anything more than a half-life.

So here was Sirius, stuck in the shack with Remus, huddled together under a single, dusty blanket and Remus' overcoat busily trying to control the fierce thumping in his chest. And it was all James' fault.

Stupid bloody James.

James 'Gitface' Potter, as he was to be known from now on, had, for reasons known only to himself, decided that knickers were so-called because you were supposed to steal them. Specifically, he was to steal a pair of Lily Evans' knickers. Sirius and Remus had decided that they rather liked being alive and would therefore have no part in the planning, execution and aftermath of the scheme and had beat a hasty retreat after first checking if James preferred burial or cremation.

Remus and Sirius had ventured out into the wintery grounds Joking and running. They had talked and teased and walked and pondered, they had speculated on this, that and the other and were generally having too much fun to notice that the light snow fall they had wandered into was getting steadily heavier. Soon, though it was too thick to ignore and they had taken the nearest shelter available to them. The shrieking shack.

…

Away from the blizzard, inside the shack, under the blanket (and now both of their overcoats), deep inside Sirius Black there was a strange and, quite honestly, ridiculously girly trembling. The outer Sirius Black merely squirmed and said

"Merlin! Moony, you have the coldest elbows in the entire history of elbows. Ever."

Remus grinned.

"If you think they're bad, you should feel my hands!" With that Sirius felt two thin, rough and bloody freezing hands on his stomach. At first he sat there, eyes bulging, totally disbelieving that Remus' glorious hands were on his stomach, tracing a line just above his belly-button then he realised just how cold they were.

"Merlin's balls, Moony!" He yelled leaping up and retreating across the musty room.

Remus merely chuckled under the blanket, his face lit up with his smile.

"At least now my elbows won't seem so bad." He laughed his deep, throaty laugh and bit his lip attempting to look innocent, but Sirius decided that sultry was a better word for the expression.

"Are you coming back? You'll freeze over there." He patted the floor beside him, "Please?"

"Well, only if you promise not to do that again." Sirius replied, already moving back to sit where he had been.

"Promise."

The next few minutes were spent with both boys trying to get comfortable in silence. This silence stretched on for a little while longer, both boys resting their heads on the wall, eyes shut. For a little while Sirius thought Remus was asleep, but he realised that the boy was staring at the roof. Staring at where the room he went through his monthly transformation was. No, not staring, glaring. Glaring with red rimmed, angry eyes.

"Are you okay, Moons?"

"Sometimes I forget, you know. Silly isn't it? But I forget and I feel light and happy and almost normal. It used to play on my mind day in and day out when I was young. I grew up knowing there was no monster under my bed because he slept in it… But then I came here, and met you three daft boys and I suddenly had friends and schoolwork and some idea of what other people have. I was so excited about getting my first piece of homework, because to me it meant I really was staying, that Dumbledore wouldn't burst in the door and tell me there had been a mistake and a monster like me had no place here. I was accepted and I started having moments when I could forget, those moments stretched out to minutes, and over the years have become hours and days… and those are great. But it just makes it hurt that tiny bit more when I remember." Remus didn't take his eyes off the roof.

"But Moony, you're brilliant! You're intelligent and funny, you're always kind to the firsties…"

"I know Pads, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a monster. It doesn't make me like everyone else."

"I'm not normal either, Moony."

"Having an awful family doesn't make you essentially different, it sucks, but you're still normal."

"I didn't mean that bollocks."

"What?" now Remus had shifted his focus from the roof to Sirius.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I'm queer." Sirius stated matter-of factly. A chance to test the waters and reassure Remus, this could not fail.

"Yeah, you said you were different, but how so?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Merlin help us, I'm _QUEER_ Moony… Homosexual. Gay. A poof… Queer."

Remus just stared mutely at Sirius for a while.

"What?" He finally asked.

"I am gay, Moony."

"Wow."

"Wow?"

"Yeah, wow. What did you expect me to say?"

"I don't know. I've never told anyone, but 'wow' isn't in any way the reaction I expected."

"Did you think I would be repulsed? Did you think I would hate you?" Remus' cheeks flushed a bit at this, Sirius knew this meant the boy was controlling his temper.

"No! Moony, I knew that you of all people would understand, I just never saw an appropriate time to tell you before. What was I supposed to do? At breakfast one morning should I have said 'Eurgh, hamsteaks again, I hate hamsteaks. What I don't hate is cock. Yeah, I love cock because I'm gay'? Would that have been better?"

"No, I suppose not. Sorry Sirius." Remus looked upset, so Sirius nudged him playfully to show that it was all okay.

"It's okay Moons, us freaks need to stick together."

"I don't think you're a freak, Pads."

"Yeah, well, I don't think that you're a monster, you pillock."

Remus smiled and gazed down at the toes of his shoes, poking timidly out of the blankets.

"I think I've still got you beat." Remus mused.

"No way! Heaps more people are afraid of gays, especially if we include muggles, some of them are afraid of homosexuals but they don't believe in werewolves."

"Hmmm. What about gay werewolves?"

Sirius had the distinct impression that he had been hearing things.

"Come again?"

"I said 'What about gay werewolves?'"

"Ah… right." Sirius had no idea what to say. All he knew is that the inner trembling had gotten worse and suddenly decided to manifest itself as a shiver.

"Are you cold?" Remus asked, suddenly concerned, he put one arm around Sirius, pulling him into a tight hug while arranging the blanket to reach over Sirius' shoulder.

"M'fine. Thanks." He managed. Remus sighed happily.

"Do you think Lily's killed James yet?" Remus asked quietly, now resting his head atop Sirius'.

"If she hasn't killed him yet, it's only because she isn't done torturing him."

Remus chuckled quietly.

"Poor bugger', he mused "he loves her so much, he just needs to find a sane way to show her."

"Love isn't sane, though is it Moony? It's blind. It's exhilarating. It's gazing into an abyss and looking forward to the fall...It's… Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Someone's in love!" Remus crowed.

"No, I-I…"

"You have to be if you know what it feels like! Don't deny it Pads."

"Well, maybe,' Sirius was suddenly very concerned about the direction the conversation was taking, "Hang on, if you know that I know what it feels like, by your own argument you're in love too."

Sirius couldn't repress a smug grin as Remus blushed, but he feared that he may be about to have his heart broken if he asked the question on the tip of his tongue. Oh well, curiosity killed the cat and all that bollocks.

"Who is he?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus exhaled a slow, sad breath. He suddenly found his hands very interesting.

"He is unobtainable." Remus gazed mournfully at Sirius.

"What, is he straight?"

"No, it's not that. I just don't think he'd be interested in me."

Sirius stared aghast at his friend.

"Not want you?'. He repeated the words as though they felt rough and foreign in his mouth, "you're great! You're beautiful and caring and sometimes, when you start daydreaming and you suck on your sugar quill, and the sunlight from the window near your favourite spot in the library hits your hair just-so… you're perfection. He'd have to be demented, deranged… Absolutely fucking crazy not to want you."

Remus' face had split into a wide grin.

"Well, madness does run in your family." Remus quipped.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Bleeding hell you're dense sometimes Pads, you're denser than dense things. You are denseness personified."

Sirius was just working up enough energy to be affronted when Remus leant in and kissed him square on the mouth.

"Oh… I see." Sirius said quietly before he kissed Remus back with gusto.

By the time the weather cleared and a frantic, and somewhat bruised, James came to find them Sirius and Remus had kissed each other into oblivion and were asleep on the dusty floor of the shack.

"What were you two doing while you were in here?" James asked after he woke them and as he helped them up from the floor.

" Keeping warm." Sirius grabbed a hold of Remus' hand, "with lots of snogging."

"Snogging?"

"Damn straight."

"No, Pads, neither of you are. It's about bloody time!" James strode imperiously out of the room. Sirius shrugged, leaned over and was about to give Remus another kiss.

"ARE YOU TWO POOFS COMING OR NOT?"

Remus smiled that world-weary smile and sighed as he pulled Sirius towards the door.

"First chance we get, I say we do unspeakable things on his bed, and keep quiet about it until graduation." Sirius whispered.

"Deal. But only if we can back it up with photographic evidence."

"Gods, I love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Sirius." Remus ran his thumb gently along the back of Sirius' hand, holding on right up until they got back to the dorm alone and his hands were called away to other places.

…

You viewed… REVIEW… please?


	10. Valentine's Day

Disclaimer- Not mine.

A.N- I only have a few ideas left for this series, let me know if there's anything you want to see.

Valentine's Day.

Or James' ever-growing quest for an early death, too much chocolate (even for Remus), icky lip-gloss kisses, crazy girls and a secret admirer

…

The girls at Hogwarts went mental at Valentine's Day, the weeks approaching the day were filled with dropped hints, sighing and an alarming amount of giggling. No man was safe, and woe betide any boyfriend stupid enough to forget to buy his beloved something appropriately shiny.

This year was no exception. In fact, the only thing crazier than a girl on Valentine's Day was James Potter on Valentine's Day. James the messy-haired 'romantic' (read 'lunatic') had planned a rich, full day of reasons for Lily Evans to kill him. It all began at seven am when Lily was awoken by five house elves serenading her with the latest Celestina Warbeck number, their tiny chests spelling out JP + LE. The fun continued when over breakfast a deluge of flowers feel directly onto her head, and into her breakfast, when dropped from a great height by most of the schools owl population.

"James, mate, I'd run if I were you, and use as many firsties for cover as you can. Lily's on her way over here and she doesn't look happy. She's gone a really odd greyish purple colour, and she's already got her wand out." Sirius muttered without looking up from his porridge. With a quick glance to his left at the approaching Lily-flower James leapt up and bounded for the door dodging other students and an array of curses that were fired at his back.

"I don't think he'll make it out of today alive." Remus tutted.

"Moony, I'm not certain _she'll _survive today, he could have anything planned." Sirius replied. Remus began to laugh in response to this, but when he really thought about it he realised that Sirius had a point. His face fell and he bit the inside of his lip.

"Oh dear."

The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of an owl. It perched itself in front of Remus' plate and preened, watching itself in his discarded spoon. Remus merely stared at the owl.

"Moony, there's an owl with a letter for you."

"For me? Don't be preposterous." Remus countered, still staring at the bird. The owl seemed to sigh and simply proffered a leg, making the word 'Remus' more visible on the letter. After Remus still seemed frozen the owl hooted and shook its leg.

"Last time I checked your name was Remus." Sirius stated in a voice that was both amused by the turn of events and concerned that Remus required medical attention.

Still Remus stared. Still the owl stared back, only he did it more huffily.

"Moony."

The owl finally jumped forward and bit Remus, who recoiled, sucking at his abused thumb but he still failed to remove the letter.

"I'll get it, shall I?" Sirius quickly removed the letter and placated the owl with a small piece of bacon.

"Moony. Do you want to read your letter."

Remus was suddenly a blur of activity.

"Why would anyone send me a sodding letter?" He took a quick look at it in Sirius' hand, "Dear Lord, it has _hearts_ on it! What do they think they're playing at?" Sirius had no idea why Remus was so angry.

"Moony, mate, it's just a Valentine."

"JUST A VALENTINE? No, it's not just a valentine, it's more than paper with little fucking hearts on it! It's feelings and, and a certain amount of _expectation_. I don't want it. I don't want it!" With the last proclamation Remus stamped his foot as though he were a three year old.

"Come on, Moony! Reading a Valentine doesn't mean you have to marry the person who sent it! Calm down you daft bugger, and just read it. They might have written something nice."

Remus looked contrite.

"Sorry, Pads, I don't know what came over me. Who is it from?"

Sirius examined the paper by turning it over in his hands.

"Dunno, you'll have to open it, good news is that it can't be from Snivelly there aren't great big grease marks all over it." He held it out to Remus who took it timidly. With shaking hands he opened it.

Dear Remus,

It's taken many years for me to build up the courage to write this to you. You are so above me, and I feel presumptuous even now writing this to you but I couldn't let another year go by without telling you how special you really are. I don't write this letter out of any misplaced belief that we could ever be together, or that you would even want that, I'm writing this because I must, because I will go mad if I don't.

You are so bright against the grey walls of the castle, your gold spun hair is beautiful, I have dreamed of running it through my fingers. Your milky skin looks so soft and warm to the touch and I would die of happiness if ever you allowed me to caress you with my coarse, undeserving hands. The curve of your lips is nothing short of divine. I dare not imagine sullying them with my own undeserving mouth.

You are all and everything to me, always.

With Love, however futile,

Your Secret Admirer.

"Merlin, Moony!" Sirius breathed as he finished reading the letter, when he turned to talk to Remus the werewolf was disappearing through the throng of people. Sirius would have followed his friends had it not been for the sudden appearance of Drusilla Cavendish, a Hufflepuff in their year, on his lap and the insistent press of her lips on Sirius'. She was soft and warm, her lips coated in a strawberry gunk, her tongue eager and wet. Sirius' stomach lurched. He stood swiftly, Drusilla fell to the floor as Sirius wiped his face on his sleeve, a look of pure disgust on his face.

"Bleeding hell, Cavendish, the next time you get it in your head to molest someone, make sure that someone isn't me!" He turned and sped off hoping to find Remus.

After he pushed his way through the sea of people in the great hall Sirius hoped to catch up with Remus in the entrance hall, but the werewolf was nowhere to be seen, instead he found a massive chocolate sculpture of James Potter kissing Lily Evans.

"Oh, what a _waste_ of perfectly good chocolate, if the letter didn't upset Moony enough the sight of this will have made him almost suicidal." Sirius muttered to himself. An unwary third year had strayed too close to the sculpture and slipped in the melting chocolate. He was clutching his ankle.

"Idiot couldn't even manage a proper cooling charm." Sirius groused as he went to help the boy up. Sirius busied himself stabilising the boy's ankle with a spell he used on Remus almost every month before he levitated the boy to the hospital wing. On arrival Sirius saw someone he recognised. Well, perhaps recognised is too strong a word, for this particular person's face had turned into a swirling vortex of mud that seemed to have thick orange hairs growing out of it, what Sirius recognised was the mass of black hair on top of the mud head. He deposited the boy onto the nearest bed and strode over to James.

"I see the delicate, lady-like, demure Lily flower caught up with you then." Sirius laughed. The James-mess sagged in it's bed. Sirius felt sorry for him. "James, you just really need to tone it down, mate. I know you love her, but she probably thinks it's some big joke to you… At least _you_ didn't get practically raped by Drusilla Cavendish" The swirling mud made a gurgling noise that Sirius assumed was a 'See you later Sirius'. Sirius bade the James-mess a goodbye and continued his search for Remus.

Sirius eventually found Remus in the owlery petting the owl he had so annoyed that morning.

"What's up, Moony?"

Remus sighed.

"Getting that letter freaked me out. It's thrown me for a loop. Not because I don't think someone could feel that way about me, but because I want a specific someone to feel that way about me. Getting that letter just reminds me how hopeless it is."

Sirius was dumbstruck.

"Who is she?"

"She?"

"The person you want to love you, who is she?"

Remus smiled a small, pained smile.

"She is a _he_."

Sirius blinked infinitely slowly, his face inscrutable.

"Who is he then?"

Remus looked horrified and relieved in equal measure.

"You don't mind? That I'm…"

"Of course not, Moony. Now who is this bloke who captured your heart?" Sirius crossed his arms and leaned casually against the nearest wall, raising an expectant eye-brow.

"I can't tell you."

"What? You can't tell me… Can I guess?"

"Uh…"

"Do I know him?"

"Yes." Remus answered in spite of himself, if Sirius asked, Remus always answered.

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen."

"What's he like?"

"Perfection." Remus blushed.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Could you be a bit more specific?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Remus wasn't sure when Sirius had begun advancing on him, but now Sirius was only centimetres away and Remus was backing away slowly, Sirius had a strange light in his eyes.

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of your reaction."

Remus hit the wall with his back as Sirius closed in on him.

"What if you told me and my reaction was this?" Sirius' eyes flickered down to Remus' lips before he leant to kiss them, only he stopped before he reached them and kissed Remus' jaw, just below his left ear. Sirius' lips worked furiously down to Remus' collar bone and back up as Remus' brain tried to kick itself back into gear and Remus' mouth did nothing but make scandalously undignified whimpering noises.

After a few minutes, and Remus was sure his knees were about to give out, Sirius stopped and leaned back, gazing at Remus with heavy lidded eyes.

"Well?"

"Why didn't you kiss me on the mouth?"

"I told you in the letter, I'm beneath you."

In reply Remus smiled and kissed Sirius on the mouth.

"Not yet, you're not, but I'm sure we can work something out." He whispered before he made another assault on Sirius' delicious lips.

To their left a rather unimpressed owl hooted an unheard hoot of annoyance, wondering exactly why humans were so fucking crazy, and also why they couldn't bugger off and snog somewhere else so he could have a kip.

…


	11. Trousers

Trousers

For Just Briana who loves the word 'trousers' and SB/RL, so hopefully she'll like this. But I don't know, let's say I'm not confident.

…

Remus Lupin was known for having a quirk or two. He was incapable of saying no to chocolate, he had to knock on a door frame twice before he entered a room, he felt ridiculously uncomfortable if he wore matching socks and he believed that there was nothing better in the world than a really nice pair of trousers. Nothing could beat the feel of a new, well-made pair of trousers. The straight, strong seams, the confidence that came with a correct fit and the assurance of a heavier fabric that sat just-so. No, nothing could compare. Slacks were what old-women wore, pantaloons were ridiculous, shorts were undignified and kilts let in a draft. Yes sir, nothing beat a fine pair of trousers.

Or so he thought, until one fateful day.

The Marauders were out getting their supplies for their sixth year at Hogwarts and were in Madame Malkin's being fitted for robes and new trousers. Remus had an exhilarating buzz at the back of his skull, pure happiness from the feel of his new brown corduroy trousers. He was rocking back and forth on the soles of his feet, hands in his pocket smiling quietly to himself, testing the strength of the seams by opening and closing his hands, totally unaware that his world was about to come crashing down around his ears. Remus lifted his shaggy head to see Sirius standing on the small stool he had just vacated and Madame Malkin putting the finishing touches on Sirius' new trousers.

Sirius' new black leather trousers.

Remus felt as though he couldn't breathe. His disbelieving eyes traced the firm curve of the other boy's buttocks, his chest burned as he realised he was holding his breath. Sirius looked over his shoulder to see Moony, the grey eyed boy smiled a mischievous smile.

"What do you think, Moony? Now I'm a total rock star." Sirius asked. James and Peter murmured their agreement, Remus merely emitted a small, strained noise followed by a shrug. _Dear Merlin, I have a bad feeling about this. This is bad… _Remus thought to himself.

…

Sadly for Remus he was rarely mistaken and he proved correct about his reaction to Sirius' trousers. It had been months since the fateful day when Remus came to the realisation that there was something better than trousers, and that that thing was Sirius in leather trousers. He felt as though he had gone quite mad, in the past few weeks he felt himself thinking whistfully of the simple days when trousers were just trousers and life was simple and innocent and relatively carefree… I mean, once a month a snarling inhuman beast ripped itself from his innards, but a bloke kind of got used to that kind of thing. No, now he was surrounded on all sides by strange feelings and an unhealthy obsession with his best friend. Last Tuesday he had giggled. Giggled! At one of Sirius' inane jokes. He had giggled like a bloody girl, he was a hair-twirl away from being a woman. Sadly, the more he fought it, the worse it got, and not an hour went by that Remus didn't think of the rounded, smooth outline of his best friends bum. Sirius had suddenly gone from friend and confidant to a sexual object that invaded Remus' sub-conscious and did unspeakable things to him in his dreams. Remus feared that he would get pneumonia from the cold showers he was having on a too-regular basis. If Remus was completely honest he should have seen this coming. He had always valued Sirius' opinion more than anybody else, he had always felt protective of the outwardly-confident heir, and enjoyed his company the most. If he was honest, he would have realised long ago that he _treasured_ Sirius. But Remus was a teenage boy, and he was much too busy and sensible for those kinds of thoughts. He was also scared. Terrified. He had never wanted anything in his life. Not one damn thing. He had always been perfectly contented with the things he had, he had always made do. Now he wanted something but he couldn't have it, and that was driving him insane.

…

"Padfoot, you noticed something strange about Moony?" James asked Sirius quietly after dinner one night.

"Are you referring to the fact that Moony has been unusually timid and then suddenly he's loud and kind of obnoxious, or the fact that he seems to mutter to himself a lot, or the fact that he just spent the last half an hour with his left sleeve in gravy but failed to notice because he was busy staring off into space with a glazed look in his eye?"

James was about to agree when Sirius continued

"Or perhaps you mean the fact that he is eating even _more _ chocolate than usual, not that that can be possible, or maybe the way he seems more nervous in the mornings, or the strange way he says 'trousers' now, as though it's a dirty word."

James was dumbfounded. Sirius had noticed things that he had missed, but could see now.

"Uh, yeah," James murmured, "What do you think is the matter?"

Sirius stopped walking and glanced around to see if there was anyone to hear, he then seemed to size James up, as though to see if James was ready to hear what he had to say. Finally he spoke.

"I think Moony's in love." He spoke simply.

James stared at Sirius, his impassive face finally split into a huge grin. He crowed.

"That's brilliant!"

"Yeah, it's great." Sirius agreed glumly.

"What's wrong, Pads?"

"Remus is in love."

"AND?" Sirius rolled his eyes, James really was thick sometimes.

Sirius muttered an answer.

"What was that? I can't hear you."

Sirius looked at his best friend through red-rimmed eyes, he fought to take a deep breath and answered. "He's not in love with _me._" Sirius stood with his back to the stone wall and slid slowly to the floor. James looked down at the crumpled heap on the floor that had been his best friend. He couldn't say he was shocked, James had eyes and could see how differently Sirius treated Remus. When Remus was around Sirius was always a little kinder, a little gentler. He was calmer and happier. Remus always brought the best out in Sirius, now James knew why. He quietly turned and sat beside his friend. He pulled his knees up to his chin and glanced sideways at his friend.

"How long?" he asked.

"Always, I think. I realised last year. Remember when I was stepping out with Meredith Bagnold?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Well, when you're making love to a girl as drop dead sexy as her and you hear yourself mutter the name of one of your best mates, it makes you sit back and take stock of your feelings. So I did. I thought about how I always say goodnight to him last, about how he was the first thing on my mind in the morning. I thought that the colour of his hair in the summer sun is one of the most beautiful sights. I even had some embarrassingly girly thoughts about how he's the moon and I'm a star, about how that must mean we are meant to be... But we aren't. We can't be."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Would you?"

"I don't know. Not to him… but why not me, Pads?"

"It hurts, James. It hurts so fucking much, and I know you would understand, but I couldn't do it. I'm so afraid of losing him. I just didn't want to say it out loud. Some Gryffindor I am."

"Sorry, mate." James went quiet for a little while, staring at the dog-eared shoes that poked out of his robes. He suddenly had a thought.

"Wait, why couldn't it be you?'

"Moony's not gay."

"Well, if you think about it he could be. He's always been a little too polite about our girlfriends, y'know, no surreptitious looks, no interest in details of a night out…"

"Please James, Moony's just like that. He's not all… y'know."

"Pads. He's our age and a bloke, of course he's all 'y'know' he's just not obvious about it. Maybe what's mixing him up so much is that he likes someone he feels he shouldn't. He could like y-"

Sirius stood up suddenly, his eyes wild and his face red.

"You can be as deluded as you like Potter, but don't you drag me down with you! I will not hold false hope, how dare you try to give it to me and still think yourself a friend. I will not talk about this again. We never had this conversation. Tomorrow things will be back to normal."

With that Sirius swept away down the hall leaving James stunned.

….

The next morning was very strange. Sirius almost made a point of _not_ looking at Remus. Remus, while not looking at Sirius, seemed unable to stop staring at where the boy had been seconds before. Before long James asked Peter to accompany him down to the great hall. Sirius had hummed a goodbye as he wandered into the bathroom, while a flash of horror appeared on Remus' face as he pulled his rumpled form from his bed. As James and Peter left the room, James saw Remus glance at the bathroom door before he rearranged his facial features into a resigned look and collapsed back into his bed.

_Ha. That's interesting._ James thought as he and Peter began discussing the upcoming Ravenclaw/ Slytherin match.

…

Remus was lost in his thoughts. It seemed in his sleepy state he had revealed his secret. James had seen his strange behaviour, and what was really getting to Remus wasn't that his friend knew, but that he seemed _happy_ about it. What the hell did that mean anyway? Remus automatically began gathering his things for his morning shower. He had his towel, shampoo and conditioner in hand as Sirius wandered out of the bathroom. The towel-clad boy offered a greeting of "Shower's free." Before he went to search his trunk for the day's clothes. Remus averted his greedy eyes and wandered as though in a trance into the bathroom. He removed his pyjama top before he realised that he had forgotten his soap. He stumbled into the dormitory and stopped dead in his tracks.

_Sweet Merlin. _He thought. _There is something better than Sirius in leather trousers. That thing is Sirius without trousers. _

Remus stood and stared, open mouthed and trembling at a very naked, somewhat damp Sirius Black. Remus' amber eyes traced feather light lines over the hard, smooth belly, the line of dark hair that trailed down to the pool of dark hair that surrounded Sirius' magnificent cock. Remus' brain had stopped working, his mouth attempted to pick up the slack and sadly decided that the best thing to say was "Eungh… mmm. Huh?" He tried desperately to tear his eyes away from the bare alabaster skin, but the more he watched the more addictive the sight of the other boy became. So addictive that Remus didn't notice the other boy's grey eyes clamped on his bare and heaving chest, the stormy orbs free to roam over his flushed face, half closed eyes and the growing bulge in his pyjamas. The only indication Remus had of this was when Sirius' interest became physically apparent. Amber eyes met grey and the boys found that they were closer than they remembered. Sirius read wanton and unchecked lust in the face of his best friend and knew it was being reflected in his own. Neither would remember later who kissed first, but they soon found that they were, naked chests pressed together as lips wandered over each other and warm tongues invaded hot mouths. Soon Remus was nipping and teasing at the shorter boy's lips, savouring each taste and texture and becoming obsessed with the noises that he could elicit. Soon he was making these undignified, animal sounds as he found Sirius' long slender hands had made their way into his pants and were now doing fantastic things to him. Remus felt as though he could live in this perfect moment forever, eternally contented in the most animalistic way possible.

So of course this was the moment that bloody James burst into the room.

"Whoa!" James attempted to avert his eyes. Remus stared at James over Sirius' shoulder. Sirius kept on doing exactly what he had been for the last few minutes.

"For fuck's sake, Prongs. We don't need and audience. Now bugger off, will you?" Sirius demanded roughly.

"Righto, Lads. Sorry. Uh…" James left swiftly. Sirius' hands and mouth continued their exploration of Remus, but Remus wanted to talk. Sirius sensed this.

"I love you. You are in love, and judging by the events of the last few minutes, it's me you're in love with. Not that anyone can resist me, mind. So, relax Moony and let me do all the unspeakable things I've dreamed of doing to you."

Remus simply smiled broadly and laughed.

"I do love you, you daft git, but we have classes to get to, remember?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow and kissed Remus deeply, grinding their hips together and getting a loud moan from Remus in response.

"I'm suddenly feeling quite ill today, Pads', Remus coughed half-heartedly, "I may need to spend the day in bed. Keep me company?"

…

Well? Love it? Hate it? Please let me know with a review. Please?


	12. Post Prank

Post Prank.

Warning- Angst, swears (cos Snivelly has a potty mouth) and probably some terribly clichéd stuff, I don't know, it's late and I have to go to work early tomorrow… or, later today, really.

Disclaimer- Nots mine. *sadface*

…

Grey eyes flickered to the hunched boy. Through lank hair he watched the thin fingers twist the fork through the food, stopping only very rarely to shovel a small morsel into the down-turned mouth. Sirius never let his eyes wander above the pink lips, for when he met the red-rimmed amber eyes he saw only disdain. Disdain, and hurt and anger and an infinite sadness that stretched on forever and almost swallowed the dark-haired boy up. Sirius let out a sigh as he finally nibbled on the piece of bread in front of him. It tasted rough and foreign, and soon he gave up on the enterprise altogether choosing instead to sit glumly at the table, head bowed, reliving the night he betrayed Remus.

One Month Earlier…

Sirius was wandering through the grey, quiet halls of Hogwarts castle. He was scared for Remus tonight, for the closer he and his friends got to perfecting their animagus forms, the more anxious Sirius became, worried that something terrible might happen to the golden-haired boy who took up so many of his thoughts. Sirius was the first to admit that he was different with Remus than with anyone else. Always a little more considerate, a little more patient, gentler and kinder but this was all the boy was willing to concede, he wanted to protect Remus. Not shag him… no matter what he dreamed about at night, no matter what was whispered in the halls of the castle, no matter what Fabian bloody Prewett wrote on the walls of the boys bog, Sirius wouldn't admit that.

He was pacing back and forth along the fifth floor corridor when he heard a rustling behind him, a foot fall followed by a silence. Sirius pretended not to hear and when the culprit moved again Sirius pinpointed his location and turned upon the mystery figure, shoving the black-robed intruder against the cold stone wall.

"Snivelly, is there any particular reason you're stalking me tonight?" Sirius asked, now pushing the boy higher and harder into the wall.

"I noticed you weren't with your _boyfriend_. I assumed on such a clear night you two faggots would be canoodling, probably in some public place… but here you are. Tell me, where is Lupin on this lovely, full-moon night?"

"How would I know, I'm not his bloody keeper." Sirius growled. He was already worried and confused, Snape's intrusion allowed a deep, black anger to well up within him, a dangerous thing when the raven haired boy was so conflicted. Sirius let it take over the fear and confusion. Anger was a feeling he could lose himself in.

"That's not what I heard. I hear you want him, I hear you dream about him… Regulus said that you call his name in the dead of night like a drowning man calls for water. You're both pathetic little fags, so of course you know where he is."

"If we're so pathetic, why do you want to know?" Sirius was getting angrier, his face contorted into pure hatred, his hands pressing harder on Snape's throat, making it harder for the boy to breathe.

"There's something going on with that boy, anyone with half a brain can see it. I want to know what it is, I want to know so I can get rid of you four philistines, so you can all go and live the lives of squibs like you deserve…"

"Anyone with half a brain? That leaves you out, doesn't it Snivelly? You only want to get rid of us so that you can get rid of James, you only want to get rid of James so you can have Lily Evans…" Sirius' face turned to a mocking smile, "You think you'd have a chance if James was out of the picture? You stupid bastard, you did have a chance… until you called her a mudblood the day she tried to defend you. Not only did you need a girl to rescue you, but you had to insult _her_ to feel manly. Was it cold sleeping in the hall outside the Gryffindor common room? Bet your snaky mates didn't like that. Bet that bloke you all worship, Voldemort or whatever he calls himself, would have been upset about that? What did they make you do to make up for it? I hope it was painful."

"You'd be sensitive about the mudblood tag, wouldn't you? Lupin's a mudblood, isn't he? Do you see your mother whenever you fuck him? Is it all to get back at Daddy? Is that what it's about? Your pet? I bet he purrs for you? Or does he roll over like a bitch?"

Sirius let Snape drop to the floor. The dark anger had filled him up to the brim, his eyes as black as his name, all thought left him when Snape said those things about _his_ Remus. Those horrible, alluring things. The images in his mind gave way to a thousand dreams, the idea of Remus as his pet gave way to the burning rage.

"YOU WANT TO SEE WHO ROLLS OVER LIKE A BITCH? Go to the whomping willow and poke the knot with a branch. Underneath the trunk is a tunnel. Follow it and you'll get your answers… and hopefully, you'll get what's coming to you!" Sirius spat on the boy before he turned on his heel and stormed off. He was around the corner before his words, and their consequences truly hit home.

"Oh, fuck."

Sirius ran toward the front of the castle, on the way he met James, after a hurried explanation James' face turned from one expecting a prank, to a mask of fury. He punched Sirius in the face, and ran ahead as the dark haired boy hit the ground.

"If I'm too late, they're both dead! If he hurts anyone it's straight to Azkaban." James bellowed as he disappeared into the night.

The rest of the night was a blur, his recovery from the mild concussion in the hospital wing, Dumbledore's face as he swept into the Hospital wing demanding answers, the usually sparkling eyes of the headmaster cold and hard, Snape's face filled with fear and disgust, James' refusal to even talk to him… and finally, in the early morning light Remus' reaction to the news of the events of the previous night. The slight boy had looked once at Sirius after he was told, a searching look, hoping that this was someone's idea of a joke, but when all he found in the pale face of his best friend was guilt and tears he hardened, he asked Sirius to leave and not to come back. He asked it in a strong, unwavering voice as he stared at his hands. He asked it once and waited as Sirius stood slowly and tried once more to apologise.

"Just get out. Now." The voice was fierce, and edge of iron to it, but as Sirius turned to leave he saw a single hot tear slide down the thin, scarred face. He left. His heart broke.

_You are a Black after all, selfish and stupid and undeserving of them in the first place._

Sirius walked out of the hospital wing silently, not wishing to burden the three once-friends behind him with tears of self-pity. He went straight to his room, packed a few things in his trunk and wandered the school. On the fourth floor he found a tiny, bare room, with a single, small, uncomfortable cot inside.

_Just what I deserve._ He thought to himself.

He had been sleeping there the past month, keeping to himself, and keeping out of the way of anyone who might want to talk to him. Sirius Black's self-imposed exile didn't go unnoticed by the school but when Justin Zbignew was hexed for so much as starting the sentence "What happened Sirius, are you okay?" The rest of the student body and all the teachers wisely left the matter alone.

Or so Sirius thought.

As Sirius sat and silently surveyed the boy he had betrayed, his eyes swept to the messy haired, bespectacled boy beside him. The boy was in a serious and hushed conversation with a fiery-haired girl. Sirius was glad to see that James was finally able to at least have a conversation with the girl of his dreams, in the last two weeks he had seen them conversing as they were now. As serious and quiet as it may have been James was unmistakably thrilled to be so close to the girl. Sirius was wondering what had brought on this new friendship when Lily's green and James' blue eyes flickered up and caught him watching them. Sirius quickly dropped his gaze and stood from his chair, sweeping out of the room as fast as he could manage.

He heard footsteps following him, so he sped up almost imperceptibly, partly from a fear that it could be James about to hex him, and partly from a childish wish to escape the footsteps of Snape a month ago, a wish to undo the damage he had done. When they fell away he sighed with relief and headed upstairs to spend another Saturday mentally torturing himself. As he approached his new room someone was waiting for him. The green eyes latched onto him as the red haired girl stamped a foot impatiently.

"C'mon Black, we need to talk." She pushed open the door to his room and waited for him to enter, an inscrutable look on her face. Sirius shuffled in, head bowed and sunk onto his bed, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. Lily sat beside him and he flinched when she moved suddenly. He was more than a little shocked to find her arms around him pulling him into a tight hug. Sirius quietly pushed her away.

"Please, don't. I don't deserve it." Sirius muttered in a voice dusty from lack of use.

"You need it, Sirius. How long will you go on punishing yourself?"

"I'm not…" He began feebly.

"You are. You look awful. You're thin and miserable. You skulk around and don't talk to anyone, not even the teachers when they ask you a direct question in lessons. You haven't washed your hair, your robes are hanging off you. You need to stop it Sirius. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Don't deserve it, any of it. Why should I contribute and laugh and be admired? I don't deserve it. I am alone, like I should be, like they always said I deserved. What I did…" Sirius shook his head as tears welled in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"What you did was stupid and wrong and dangerous and could have meant death for two people, I know."

"How do you know?"

"I've known for a long time what Remus is, or more to the point what he _isn't_. I know what happened. I just want to know, why?"

"Why? You want to know why I almost used my best friend to kill my enemy? I did it because I'm an idiot who not only is a total emotional fucking train-wreck, but who rises to the bait too easily!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I was wandering the halls thinking about him, and all the things that people say about us, but desperately trying to deny any truth in the rumours. I was so caught up in worrying about him hurting himself and about just what he means to me when I was interrupted by Snape. He was following me. The things he said about Moony were…" Sirius' eyes turn skyward as the oft-denied tears begin to fall, "They were horrible and insulting and at the same time conjured images of him and I… I didn't know what to do, I'm afraid of love. It's new to me, it's scary and new. So I pushed it away and reached instead for my anger, and I did the worst thing I will ever do in my life. I put myself before him and he nearly paid for it. They would have destroyed him as though he were an animal! He's too beautiful and gentle and kind for a fate like that, and he's certainly too good for me."

Sirius sunk down in the furthest corner from Lily, his head in his hands. She sat silently watching him.

"So, you are in love with him?"

Sirius just sat quietly sobbing. Finally he wiped away tears.

"He's not eating. Can you make sure he eats? Especially now after his transformation he needs all his strength. He's too thin, y'know, thinner than usual."

"He's worried."

Sirius just sat and stared at the floor.

"He's worried, because for every three bites he takes, you take one. He's worried that you are going to kill yourself with guilt."

Sirius sat unmoving, still staring at the same spot on the floor, finally Lily stood to leave.

"So what if I do?" Sirius looked at her now, eyes hard and dry.

"Sirius…"

"Make sure he eats something." Sirius stared at the floor again now, and Lily turned slowly to go. Once she was gone Sirius locked the door and lay on his bed, silently crying, riding the river of tears to an unhappy sleep.

…

When Sirius missed dinner on Saturday night the school was abuzz with gossip, and when a weary, pale and miserable Remus Lupin stood half way through the meal and left the hall the rumour-mill went into overdrive.

The thin boy walked to the fourth floor corridor and knocked quietly on the plain wooden door. When no answer came he called out.

"Sirius."

"Go 'way Remus."

"Open the door."

"No, go and eat, it's dinner time and you should be eating. You're too thin at the best of times."

"Open the door Sirius, please."

The please was quiet and desperate, it held a hint of love and sadness within its single syllable. It was tremulous and strong, it was forceful yet yielding, it was Remus, summed up in a single, softly spoken word, and Sirius couldn't resist it, just as he knew now that he couldn't resist the boy who said it.

The door clicked and creaked as he opened it slowly. He stood back, head bowed waiting for Remus to enter. The taller boy stood a while and gazed at Sirius, he took in the bony wrists, the too-sharp collar bones and the slight sway in the boy's stance. In it all he saw sorrow and remorse, he saw longing and self-loathing and he felt so sad for his friend, for that's what they were and that's what they would always be.

"Sirius, please, look at me." Remus said quietly.

Sirius' eyes lifted slowly, they were slick with tears as his nostrils flared with emotion, his breathing hitched as he held back the sorrow and the regret. Remus reached out a single, shaking, ink-stained hand and wiped away the tears on Sirius' face. They stood silently like this for an eternity before Sirius finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I'm stupid and selfish and if I had lost you…"

"It hurt, Sirius. It cut me to the quick when you used me, used my condition, for such spiteful purposes. Especially when… when I thought, perhaps, the rumours might be true, perhaps my dreams were coming true and that you might l-love me back. Just as I was gathering the courage to tell you, to ask you to protect me from the world, when I was ready t-to protect you from yourself, you betrayed me. It broke me. It broke my heart, and I thought I would stop loving you. But I couldn't. Every day you punished yourself I felt your pain, every day you got thinner, I lost my own appetite, every tear you denied yourself, I cried for you. I know that if you kill yourself, I'll die. I love you Sirius Black. I love you and your temper and your stupid mistakes and your half-forgotten laugh and your smile, and your girly hair and your hollow confidence, and the cowering, terrified boy beneath all that… I can't help but love you, because I know you. I know that you never will, never _could _betray me like this again."

"Moony, no, I don't…"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Remus pulled Sirius forwards, gently placing his lips on Sirius', listening as the wild beating of his own heart was matched by Sirius' as the pressed against each other, their mouths searching, each boy putting the hunger of the past month into the kiss. Hot mouths gave way to pink tongues as both wraith-like boys found their humanity in each other.

…

A little while later, after both boys entered the Great Hall hand in hand, accompanied by the quiet roar of a thousand feverish whispers, they sat down beside James Potter.

"How was your first kiss, Moony?" He asked after welcoming Sirius with a pat on the back.

"Wet."

James snorted.

"Well, he was kind of crying."

…

A.N-See what I did there?

Sorry about the ridiculous space between updates and also the angstyness… but how can you have a post-prank fic without it? Also, if I got the timing of the Prank wrong as far as the whole animagus thing is concerned I don't really care, and I sure hope you don't either because it works for this particular story… Also, review?


	13. Silly Old Geezers

Yay for me posting something! This isn't as fluffy as the others, but its set later post POA, and I think it's a little more thoughtful and bitter sweet… but the last line is my favourite, so it's definitely worth it for that…

Silly Old Geezers.

The hair was a little greyer, the face more care-worn and lined. The body was thinner. The years showed themselves in a thousand different ways, but when Sirius Black looked down at the man asleep in his lap he saw nothing but the quiet boy he had fallen love with. The quiet boy who had been left all alone after Sirius had been imprisoned, the man who had wrestled back a few years of life and youth now that he knew he wasn't alone. The one that Sirius loved, had always loved. Sirius had watched and waited and sighed and cried and pined and dreamed and regretted and fretted… but he never had quite got around to telling Remus exactly how he felt about him.

Sirius was now trapped in his childhood home. No one knew that he had escaped this place for only a few short years and that in the darkest of nights when the cold gripped him and the dementors were there this is where he was taken, forever in his parent's house, unable to escape and unable to bear it all. Every day for thirteen years he saw his baby brother corrupted and warped by their ministrations, only in the green gloom of Azkaban the process was swift and repeated daily. _With a matinee on Saturdays_ he thought ruefully. He had escaped a year ago and had enjoyed the freedom of being a fugitive, four walls had held him for too long, he had marvelled in the world again, in the cool of Britain, in the heat and movement of the tropics, in the strange blue light of Australia, of the colours of the sub-continent, but he had thrilled the most at the stillness of Remus. He had also felt it was very unfair of Dumbledore to get Remus to ask him to move back to Grimmauld Place so that the order could use it for headquarters, if Sirius didn't know better he would suspect that the old coot knew how deep his feelings for the werewolf ran, but that would be impossible… wouldn't it?

In the end he had acquiesced and he and Remus had set about making Grimmauld Place habitable, they had spent a week there before the rest of the order came knocking. It had been a strange sort of week. Sirius' terror had been tempered by his sheer excitement to have Remus beside him, making tea, or humming quietly as the curtains tried in vain to eat him, or browsing through piles of dusty books, or making an awful droll joke, or being far too particular about his toast in the morning… it had been heaven. Then the order had shown up, and with them there was Harry… sweet Harry. He was a sweet boy, and Sirius knew that the last thing a sixteen year old boy wants to be is sweet, but it was no use, for all of the terrible things Harry had been through he was still a sweet person. He was also brave and intelligent and mischievous and could on occasion be the biggest twat on the planet, but under it all, underneath the put-upon brooding hero, underneath the confused adolescent, underneath the abused orphan lay the sweet son that Lily had always hoped for. Sirius hated that everyone thought that Harry was James risen from the grave, he knew he wasn't. Harry was definitely his own man, he didn't have the self-assured confidence, the devil-may-care attitude, Sirius _knew_ who Harry was. The problem was, he thought, is that everyone else only understood a part of him. Even Remus saw mainly a scared, intelligent boy, afraid that everything might be ripped away. They even shared scars… As much as Sirius loved Harry, he still longed for the quiet times with Remus. He even dared to hope for a time when he and Remus and Harry would be able to stay together, chasing the sunlight in the park or flying to the sea to play on the sand, or even grocery shopping.

Living.

Sirius had been alone for far too long.

In the end they had all had to be somewhere else, and so Sirius and Remus had spent a lovely day talking and joking and laughing. They had felt younger the longer the day wore on, and had wound up here, on the lounge, in front of the fire, a pillow in Sirius' lap, Remus' head resting upon it, exactly as they had a thousand times at Hogwarts. Remus' breathing was slow and rhythmic, and as he had done a thousand times before Sirius peered down gently and brushed a stray hair out of the sleeping face of Remus Lupin. He stared down and whispered, "all this time… it's always been you with your stupid books and your awful jokes and your stupid, totally clueless head… and still I love you…"

"Y'know Pads, as declarations of undying love go, that one was pretty rubbish." Remus' quiet, gentle voice drifted up as one eye cracked open to see a wide-eyed Sirius staring down in disbelief.

"You do better then, Moony." He declared when he finally found his voice.

"I was dead without you. You went away and the sun went out. Every night the sight of the dog star mocked me as the hole on my heart grew larger and larger until I fell in and lost myself. Then one night we met as two shadows, we embraced and I was pulled from the abyss. We lost a traitor but I found two people that night, myself and you. It's always been you, Pads. Since I first saw you looking so strong and sure on the platform to the day you stuck out your hand and said "nice wand work" to the day that you lost your virginity in the darkened halls of Hogwarts with Kalliope McKinnon. I've loved you through those times, through betrayal both real and imagined, through summers and winters, cold winds and rain showers. I've loved you in light and in darkness, I've loved you to the ends of the Earth. I've loved you so many ways… all of them silent, until now. I love you, Sirius Orion Black, and now that I'm an old man I can finally say it."

"We really are two silly old geezers, aren't we?" Sirius asked.

Remus kissed him then. Softly and patiently and Sirius returned the kiss with equal gentleness, surprised at himself for he had never been so hungry for the man beneath him as he was now, but still the meeting of their lips was savoured, they were in no hurry. They were in no hurry later that night as Remus led Sirius up the stairs to the room marked 'Sirius Black.' They were in no hurry the next day either as they made up for lost time, locked in the bedroom, making a paradise of hell. They were only aware of each other, and missed the frantic call from Harry in the fireplace. Their seclusion interrupted by Severus, and Harry's need for them.

"I love you, Remus. Just, be careful, okay?"

Remus kissed Sirius for what would be the last time, and if he had known he would have held the thin man tightly for the rest of time, then he smiled a broad unafraid smile.

"The only person I'm afraid to turn my back to is you." He joked before they were off to meet Voldemort and destiny.


	14. Runaway

ANOTHER ONE! I am on fire!

Disclaimer - you know, don't make me say it again…

Runaway

Sirius Black sat perched upon the fence at the front of the Potter's house, his body seemingly calm, his hands to each side, his shoulders slumped slightly, his throat humming a nameless tune. Inside he felt as though he was falling. He could hear nothing but the growl of rushing air as he fell into an abyss of uncertainty. Three hours beforehand he had been the miserable, unloved, hugely damaged heir to the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Now he wasn't sure what he was.

He was halfway through an internal debate about whether he was an orphan, on the grounds that both of his parents were emotionally dead anyway, when he noticed a slim figure walking down the long dirt lane. The sun beat down on the golden hair and thin white t-shirt of the approaching boy. Sirius sat and watched as Remus approached the Potter's house. He saw the way that Remus pushed his honey hair out of his eyes with a slender hand, he watched how graceful Remus was, his long strides and the gentle almost feminine sway of his hips. Not to say that Remus had a girly walk, not at all, it was merely… alluring. Sirius would know Remus-watching was his favourite pastime. It had been for a very long time. At first Sirius had thought that he was always paying such close attention to Remus because he was so frail and small, always sick. Then he had told himself that the reason he watched Remus was to help alleviate Moon-related suffering, but he had grown out of all that nonsense and accepted that he watched Remus so intensely because he _liked _it, he liked what he saw, so he kept looking. Before long that little discovery gave way to the knowledge that Sirius LOVED what he saw. As he sat on the fence, quietly searching for a foothold in uncertainty Sirius found that he still loved what he saw. He was the same as he had always been. The only thing missing was the weight around his neck. No more pure-blood mania, no more stupid balls, no more entertaining in full dress robes, no more creepy decapitated house-elves as interior décor. He leapt off the fence and ran to meet Remus. Dust kicked up as he threw his arms around his friend.

"Nice to see you too, Pads." Remus drawled. He then held Sirius at arms-length and peered at him, looking to see how he was, seeing if he was okay. Slowly his face broke into a grin.

"You're okay." He breathed before he held Sirius tightly. Sirius laughed before he took Remus' small suitcase off him and held an arm out to walk him down the lane.

"Of course I am, Moony. I'm free."

…

Over the next few days the Marauders spent countless carefree hours together enjoying the best of what summer had to offer. Sirius was his usual, happy self. That is, until someone asked _why_ he had finally been disowned. He refused to talk to anyone. This, it had to be said, worried the Marauders most of all. Very late one night, or very early one morning, depending on your point of view, Remus was up and silently wandering the halls of the Potter's home. He was finding it difficult to sleep. He could see in every movement and sound that the raven-haired boy made that he was ecstatic to be free of his 'family'. Yet, he wouldn't say why, what was the catalyst? After everything what had happened over the years Sirius' parents decided something was bad enough to warrant disowning him. The public scandal alone was huge. Normally they would try to avoid it. It had to be something serious. He was so tired that he didn't even chuckle at the pun. Remus' thoughts chased themselves around and around in his head, like a dog chasing its own tail, until eventually his exhaustion took over and he fell asleep in the sitting room. He was awoken in the morning by Sirius throwing a pillow at his head.

"Thanks, Pads. Now be a good lad and fuck off, okay?"

"Do I detect a hint of grumpiness, dear Moonshine?"

"I don't know, I'm detecting a lot of Git-ness, concentrated somewhere to my left."

"You didn't sleep well, did you?"

Remus fixed him with a withering look.

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Sorry, Moons."'

Remus sighed and pulled himself wearily out of the chair.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm a bastard when I'm tired."

"Breakfast?"

"Lead on."

…

After that morning Sirius found Remus asleep in the sitting room for the next three days. Each day he looked a little paler, a little more run-down. The dark circles under his eyes grew, and so did his temper. On the fourth morning Sirius decided to let him sleep and set off in search of James. He found him in the kitchen sitting at a huge wooden table awaiting his breakfast.

"Where's Moony?"

"I decided to let him sleep."

"Ah, I see."

"He hasn't been himself."

"He never is when he hasn't been sleeping." Sirius made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat and fixed his gaze to something outside the kitchen window.

"What do you think is bothering him?"

"I dunno, what do you think?"

Sirius knew. He knew why. He knew that Remus was worried what had happened. But in telling that story he would have to reveal others.

"I know why. I just, I don't want to talk about it.

"We know Pads, but you know what Moony's like, he's like a bloody dog with a bone sometimes. No offense."

"None taken. And I will tell you, when I'm ready to it's just… it was… it was weird."

"Padfoot, your family invented weird."

…

Finally, after another three days of Remus' sleep deprivation Sirius screwed up the courage to share his story. The three of them were walking in the orchard, enjoying the shade. They walked shoulder to shoulder.

"They wanted me to get married." Sirius said suddenly and a little too loudly. The other boys stopped dead and stared at him.

"What?"

"They wanted me to get married." He turned on his heel and kept walking. "I had been out and about, wandering in London, and when I got back there was a girl in the Sitting Room. She was beautiful, but she had that cold aloofness thing happening, and there was a man and a woman sitting behind her, talking to Archie and Wally." Sirius always called his parents Archie and Wally, in spite of the fact that a few of his scars were a result of this behaviour, "So I said 'Wally, who's this bird?' She sighed and introduced her as Arnaude Hasbrouke. Her family are one of the foremost pure-blood families in France. I said 'Thrilling, Wally, why's she sitting like a lump on my chair?' She said to stop being impertinent, she was there for a wedding. I said 'Who's wedding?' then she smiled, she fucking smiled and said 'Yours, idiot boy. You are finally going to have the chance to prove your worth as a member of this family by making a suitable match…"

"When were you supposed to be getting married?"

"Yesterday."

"YESTERDAY?" Remus roared. James looked horrified.

"You're not even of age! What the hell?"

"I think it was her final play, y'know."

"What did you do?"

"I said thanks but no thanks, she looked as though she would fit in wonderfully with the miserable bastards I called family, but there would be no wedding. She said why not and I said 'because I'm in love with someone else." Sirius gave a nervous giggle. Remus' back stiffened almost imperceptibly and James slowed his stride and raised his eyebrows.

"She said 'Who is she? I trust she's not a filthy half-blood, one of your putrid Gryffindor whores.' They laughed, everyone in the room laughed."

Remus and Sirius failed to notice James' stride was taking him away from them.

"They shut up when I said 'Well, Wally you do know him, actually. He's brilliant, and kind and beautiful and everything you could never be.' And I said, 'In fact, I'm leaving. I hate it here. You lot are nothing but hatred and fear. You keep your crumbling ideas in your deteriorating minds, sitting in this festering hole, I want no part of any of it.' Archie tried to stop me, asking who was good enough for me to turn my back on my blood. I shouted that I would leave them for a cockroach, but Remus Lupin was perfection… and I walked out."

Sirius gazed anxiously at Remus, trying to gauge his reaction. There were tears. Tears! What the hell were they supposed to mean, anyway. He stood dumbly staring at his friend trying not to cry himself, wondering and waiting. Uncertainty clawed away at his insides until he had a stomach ache.

Then it was gone. The ache had disappeared.

Remus was kissing him, and it was glorious. The sunshine beamed down through the trees casting shadows on the two boys as the kissed and cried tears of joy and relief. Suddenly Sirius stopped and looked around.

"Where's Prongs?"

"He's over here, he decided that he'd rather not witness any awkward confessions and even more awkward first kisses. He wanted to keep his lunch down." A voice floated from a little way away.

"Then he shall want to find himself a separate room tonight, or he'll lose his dinner too…" Remus laughed as he kissed Sirius again. Suddenly he wasn't so tired.

…

Don't forget, if I've missed a situation let me know in a review and I shall write it!


	15. Mistletoe

Okay, this is a kind of Christmas fic… but, y'know, my way, in that Christmas is not actually really mentioned much. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - not mine.

Mistletoe.

James Potter sat looking out over the grounds of Hogwarts in a superior way. He smiled gently to himself as he silently congratulated himself. Not only was he a brilliant friend and prankster he was also, it had to be said, a match-maker extraordinaire. At this very moment, somewhere in the expansive Hogwarts castle, Remus and Sirius should be snogging.

Because of him.

Yes, sir, he was a great friend alright. He had noticed years ago that his two best friends had feelings for each other, following a period of uncertainty he had come to the realisation that the two boys were meant for each other and he had watched on with a fond kind of anticipation, waiting for all the stolen glances and slightly lingering hugs to catch up with them. But those two dense buggers had taken too long, so James planned a plan and decided that the only way the boys would admit their feelings would be to ensure that they were put in a sufficiently awkward and intimate situation, this Christmas James had set up that situation. On entering the common room his two mates would be ensnared in mistletoe, forced to kiss. They would the no doubt profess their undying love for each other, and proceed to do lewd things to each other up in the dorm. James was so immersed in his thoughts that he failed to hear the crunch of the approaching, agitated footsteps. The flying fist would have totally escaped his notice had it not collided with his face, at speed, and with a dull thunk. The next thing he knew there was a flurry of pale hands and black hair, and someone was pinning him down.

"You stupid fucker! You could have killed him!"

"What the hell, Padfoot?"

"You. You set up the mistletoe, didn't you?"

"Padfoot, what are you doing? You're hurting me."

"Hurting you? HURTING YOU!" Sirius pushed the already prone James into the dirt, bending his arms up and into his back.

"Ow! Let go of me!"

"Not until you admit it was you!"

"What."

"Say that it was you that set up the mistletoe in the common room."

"It was me, I thought… I thought you and Remus…."

Sirius let James sit up. The messy haired boy replaced his glasses on his face and turned to face Sirius. Sirius hit him again, the balled fist smacking into James' left cheek. James let out a cry and threw his hands up to protect himself. He waited for more blows. When none came he peered through his hands, Sirius was beside him, kneeling, face raised to the heavens, sobbing quietly.

"Pads?" James asked quietly.

Sirius sniffled a little but made no other response.

"Padfoot. What happened?"

"We came back from dinner. We walked into the common room and the next thing I know we're ensnared in mistletoe." James waited patiently for Sirius to continue, Sirius glanced at his friend.

"Mistletoe, Jamie." James looked blankly back at Sirius.

"Merlin you're stupid sometimes. Mistletoe, James. You know, small plant, some superstitious people kiss beneath it at Christmas…. Small green plant, _werewolves are extremely allergic to it_."

James let the words sink in. Mistletoe. Werewolves are allergic to mistletoe. _Fuck_. He thought.

"He just started screaming, James. I thought I should play along, lest his secret got out, y'know? Well, he starts, uh, shaking and convulsing and foaming at the mouth, Merlin, it seemed like forever. Pete incinerated it with an incendio curse and he passed out, and I pretended to. The rest of Gryffindor thinks it was a Slytherin prank." Sirius' voice had been all shaky, but the next thing he said, he said calmly, "But we know it wasn't. Don't we Jamie?"

James threw up in response. He shook, how could he have been so stupid? Of course Remus was allergic to mistletoe, he knew that.

"Where is he now?"

"Hospital wing."

"Is he okay. What did Pomfrey say?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I couldn't go up there… What if… What if he doesn't survive?"

James stared blankly ahead. James felt ill. He could possibly have killed one of his best mates.

"I was only trying to help." He whispered quietly. He stared at the ground, but he could feel Sirius' eyes upon him.

"Help?"

"Yeah. I've noticed the way you look at him when you think no one is watching." Sirius stared quietly at James, his features arranged into a look of fear and concern. "And I've seen the way he looks at you." Sirius' face now showed abject disbelief.

"What?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not looking, and I've seen the way he looks at pretty girls while they look at you…"

"Remus?"

"No, Dumbledore. Of course Remus!" Sirius sort of stared ahead.

"So, the great James Potter no doubt gets impatient and plans some stupid, romantic, partially embarrassing scheme to get his two oblivious mates together?"

"Yep."

"But he forgets that one of them is seriously allergic to mistletoe, which is a major component to said plan?"

"I have no idea how I forgot! Is he really going to die?"

Sirius thought for a long time. "I think he'll be okay. I hope so."

"Did you wanna go up and see him?"

"Yeah."

The two boys stood and made their way to the hospital wing.

"How did you know it was me?"

"I didn't at first, but when I ran down here to find you, you were smirking. Only two things could make you so self-satisfied, a prank or some progress with Evans. Since I had not heard of any planned pranks and she turned your porridge into worms this morning and it took you three spoons to notice, I assumed that it must have been a prank I didn't know about. If I didn't know about it had to be because I was one of the targets."

"You're too clever for your own good sometimes Pads." Sirius smiled a smug grin, "But other times you are as thick as a post." Sirius' face fell.

"I don't know about feelings… you know that. The House of Black, rich, inbred, selfish bastards all, who wouldn't know an emotion if it painted itself yellow, introduced itself and bit them on the arse."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'll probably sit by his bedside fretting day and night until he wakes up, and when he does I'll be so happy that I'll probably insult him or say something droll and hope that he can read through it… that's what I usually do."

"I suggest you kiss him."

"What if he hexes me?"

"Ah, I've had my fair share of those, they wear off eventually."

"Yeah, I'd hate if I was given a permanent deformity, like a gross head. How do you live with it, Jamie?"

"Haha, very funny."

…

"Merlin, why is it always the face?" Sirius was staring, horrified at the bandage that stretched over Remus' head and obscured half of his peacefully sleeping face. Madam Pomfrey had told them that Remus' reaction was only comparatively mild, and he should be up and about within the week, when he was he was to desist from strenuous activities. Apart from that he would be as good as new before they knew it. That didn't help the terrible guilt James carried in his gut nor did it put colour into Sirius' cheeks.

…

Over the next few days Sirius only dragged himself from the hospital wing under intense protest, afraid that he would miss being there when Remus awoke, at the same time he was frightened that he would be there and he would take James' advice. The idea was already in his mind, but so were a million reasons why he shouldn't. Unlike everyone else on the planet, to Sirius Black the words 'James Potter says so' was always a pro, not a con so he was sorely tempted. It was Christmas Eve and Sirius was perched over Remus' bed, He knew that he loved the thin, blonde haired, intelligent boy in the bed before him, he had for a very long time and although it had caused some confusion in the beginning he cherished it beyond everything else he had. Loving someone set him apart from the family that he hated, and loving Remus, he decided, meant that he was also quite clever. The other boy was so sweet and gentle and intelligent and kind. He also had a dark side and a deep understanding for the darker parts of life and people. Sirius was considering all of these things, his hands resting on Remus' bedside, his eyes staring out of the window when gentle fingers ghosted across his knuckles.

"Merlin's balls!" Sirius jumped. Remus' light laughter rang in the air.

"Are you alright, Moony? Want me to go and get Poppy?"

"No thanks. What day is it?"

"Christmas Eve."

"Wow, I've been out a few days then?"

"Just a couple… I hardly noticed." Sirius feigned ignorance.

"I assume that your lack of caring would explain the ridiculous state of your hair."

Sirius reached two hands up to the mop that had once been his impeccably groomed hair.

"You caught me. I've been here every day until Poppy kicks me out or James drags me away to something stupid, like eat."

"Why did you do that? Stay here all that time?"

"Well, usually I'm just worried. I have so few friends that losing even one of you shabby buggers would seriously damage my reputation. But this time…" Sirius' voice trailed away.

"What about this time?" Remus asked, sitting up, his amber eyes inscrutable.

"This time… I've been waiting to do this." Sirius leaned closer. It seemed to him to take forever to reach Remus' pink, slightly parted lips. But when he did, it sure was worth it. Remus made a noise half way between a sigh and a growl, and threw himself into the kiss, soon his thin, pyjama clad chest was pressed against Sirius'. Somehow they were knealing awkwardly on the bed, their legs intertwined, rough hands explored as a kiss that began sweet and tentative quickly became tongues and teeth and lips and moaning and hips and it probably would have gone even further were it not for Madam Pomfrey walking in and dropping a tray of potions. The black and blonde heads whipped around as the nurse blushed.

"That would probably count as strenuous, boys."

…

Review. Give me more clichéd situations, give me feedback, or give me flames…. JUST LET ME KNOW YOU READ IT! :P


	16. Switcheroo

Sasparilla123 suggested this, I hope she likes it. I tend to shy away from these fics, I know they can be lots of fun, but sometimes I think they're a bit of a cop-out and a strange way of making slash 'accessible' to homophobes. That said, I have read quite a few delightful versions of this storyline and I hope this one counts among them.

Switcheroo

The sobbing girl pushed the wavy black hair out of her face with a pale, shaking hand. With her other hand she wiped the tears away from her large eyes. The hot tears stuck on her long, thick eyelashes before they dropped onto her baggy shirt. The clothes she was wearing were a little too big for her, but the volume of cloth couldn't hide the smooth and almost perfect proportion of her curves. As she began to cry again Lily put a firm but reassuring hand on her shoulder. Remus stood stock still in total shock and dismay.

"Why me?" The girl cried.

"Well, you should know better than to go wandering near the dungeons by yourself, Sirius."

"But which one of those sick bastards decided that _this_ was a good idea?" With that Sirius stood to show the full extent of the charm he had been caught in. His previously thin frame had been transformed into a perfect hourglass figure, his already long hair had grown thicker and lengthened again and his face had plumped a tiny bit, his lips now full and pink. Remus was stunned and he was glad that James was handling this situation with all of the seriousness it deserved. Well, he would if he would just stop giggling.

"Shut up, James!" Sirius yelled. Remus and Lily also turned to glare in the bespectacled boy's direction.

"Oooohhhh," he began. "Someone's time of the month." He didn't have time to regret his comment, before the words had fully left his mouth three separate bolts of magic were on their way to him. With a massive bang James found that he couldn't stop dancing. On jelly-legs. While the bats he was sporting instead of ears flapped merrily on the side of his head.

"Out of line?" He asked quietly.

"Gee, let's see… Three hexes at once… Yes!" Remus was starting to get sarcastic, a sure sign that he was under stress.

"I don't know what the big deal is," James countered as he began another pirouette, "Take him up to Dumbles, if anyone can fix it, it's him."

The three thought quietly as James' feet scrambled about on the floor. They had tried and failed to fix Sirius, James' proposal made more than a little bit of sense.

"Good idea, James." Lily said as she and Remus helped usher Sirius out of the door.

"Hey! Aren't you going to undo these hexes?" He called after they had disappeared from the room. From the hallway James could hear a ringing answer.

"No. Learn a bloody lesson."

…

Albus Dumbledore sat quietly as Remus, Lily and Sirius explained the situation and as Sirius begged for the headmaster to reverse the spell he was under. When the three teenagers finally fell silent he spoke simply.

"This spell will wear off of its own accord in a few weeks."

"But, sir! Surely you can try some kind of reversal." Sirius cried.

"When I was a student here, a boy in Ravenclaw house was under the same spell as you are now, He refused to wait and the headmaster at the time attempted a reversal."

"Well, what happened? Is he okay?"

"He was fine, In fact, I talked to him recently. He's enjoying retirement, He's just left the Hollyhead Harpies."

"What, he was the coach?"

"No, _she_ was a player. In trying to undo the spell, the headmaster unwittingly made it permanent."

"Oh my God!" Sirius buried his head in his hands. Remus stared straight ahead, feeling the blood drain from his face. He swallowed quietly.

"What do I do? I can't have people know about this! I'll never live it down."

Dumbledore thought for a while before he answered.

"Well, then I will arrange for you to be enrolled as an exchange student for a little while, until the effects wear off. We shall spread the word that Sirius Black has taken ill. I shall have to contact your guardians, Sirius. I understand that as of the summer break you are living with the Potters?"

"That's right, Sir."

"I shall floo them as soon as we are done here."

Sirius nodded in response. Dumbledore then turned to Remus.

"This young lady needs a new name, tell me, Remus, what is your favourite girl's name?"

Remus tried hard not to stare at the headmaster as though he had something unidentified growing out of his nose, but failed spectacularly. Finally he choked out a response.

"I'm sorry, Sir?"

"I thought you might be able to suggest a name for this young lady." Dumbledore motioned towards Sirius.

"Um… I've always liked the name Alda." He shrugged.

"And a surname." Dumbledore turned now to Lily.

"Uh… Marquis?"

"Excellent." Dumbledore returned to his seat and began filling out papers.

"Hang on, don't I get a say in my name?"

"No." Dumbledore continued writing.

"Why not?"

"My dear lady, none of us do."

With that, Alda Marquis was born. She was duly sorted into Gryffindor and placed under the guidance of Lily Evans. As James Potter continued to dance in the dormitory Alda was given a crash course in femininity. It began with how to fasten a bra, and she was hopeless.

"It's really not that difficult." Lily insisted after a rather uncomfortable Remus had made his excuses and left.

"Well, I've never had to put one _on _before. Taking them off, I can do." She insisted, even as a girl, the pout was unmistakeable.

…

After a few days of life as a girl Alda Marquis had had enough. She found the inane chatter of girls intolerable, unless the subject of the Marauders came up, at those times she paid close attention so that she could report back to the boys when all of this lunacy was over and done with. She also hated having to pretend that she didn't know the Marauders. But the most annoying part of the whole ordeal was the boys. If Sirius Black was popular with the ladies, Alda Marquis was a goddess. From the moment she had been introduced at dinner she had been ogled, pinched, leered at, propositioned and was generally disgusted with blokes in general. After one particularly harrowing incident with a seventh year Slytherin she ran off to find Remus.

He was in the library. Alda found it comforting that some things were the same.

"Remus!" Alda whispered after she checked that no one was near.

"Alda?"

"You have to help me."

"What's wrong?"

"Bloody boys won't leave me alone."

"Seeing how the other half lives, are we?"

"What?"

"We both know you've been the perpertrator of a few gropes in your time."

"Never again."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Be my boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Just pretend. If I have a boyfriend they'll stop."

"First of all, they probably won't. Secondly, no one is going to believe that the most attractive girl in Hogwarts is going out with me."

"Oh, you think I'm attractive?"

"I assume someone does if they're molesting you in the hallways."

"Right. Well, if you hex a couple of guys they'll leave me alone. No one is going to duel you. Secondly, you have no idea how popular you are with the ladies around here, I know because I am one, for a limited time, and they talk to each other about this stuff. Thirdly, It will mean that I can come and sit with the Marauders again. If I have to hear one more conversation about Freddie Mercury's overbite I'll go mad!"

"Freddie Mercury's overbite?"

"Apparently, it's dead sexy."

Remus thought about it a little and shrugged.

"Yeah, I could see that."

"Remus!"

"Sorry, Alda. Just give me a while to think about it."

"You have to Remus! You're my only hope."

"I am?"

"James would never go out with anyone other than Lily and Peter… is Peter."

Remus packed up his books and left the library with Alda, talking quietly. When a sixth year Hufflepuff pinched her on the bum as she passed a group of students he soon found himself hanging upside down in the air, a red faced Remus Lupin inches from his own face.

"Keep your filthy hands off my girl." He growled menacingly. Before turning on his heel and slinging and arm around Alda as he walked away.

"I'll take that as a yes then." Alda smirked as they walked away.

"If you call me Remmsy or anything else awful, we're through." He whispered.

…

The first stop Remus and Alda made was to let James, Peter and Lily know of the plan. They agreed that it would be better than the alternative. After that word spread around the school like wildfire. At dinner, a mere two hours later, no one seemed surprised to see Remus and Alda enter hand in hand and sit together at the Gryffindor table. They laughed and joked under the watchful eyes of everyone and left together when they had eaten their fill.

…

In the next twenty four hours Remus only had to hex three students. After that the school seemed to get the idea that the long-haired beauty was spoken for and that the voice that spoke for her was forceful and somewhat sadistic. Remus decided that this boyfriend lark was easy enough. Hanging out with his best friend, hold hands when you walked anywhere and wait out the spell. So when after a few days Alda took him aside and told him that people were talking, he was shocked.

"You want me to _what_?"

"Hey, this isn't my idea. It's what people expect from two desirable, hormone-filled teenagers."

"But…"

"It's just a few kisses, Remus."

Internally Remus was hyperventilating. He was a clever lad and he knew that his feeling for Sirius were a little more than platonic. He had suspected it, and when Sirius' body had been transformed he knew for sure. He thought this might be overstepping a boundary.

"I know it'll be weird."

"You're telling me."

"But if you don't the abuses will start again."

"Could you be a little more melodramatic?"

"Remus Lupin, I'm not asking for your soul. I just wanna borrow your lips."

Remus looked sceptical.

"There's no one here, let me show you." With that Alda leaned forward and kissed Remus square on the mouth. Before he knew what he was doing, Remus found himself immersed in a rather serious kiss. In the end the two breathless teens just stared at each other.

"Not so bad, was it?" Alda smiled

"Slightly better than cancer…" Remus grinned. Inside he felt something give and he feared it was his heart.

…

By the end of the first week Remus and Alda could be found at any given time in any of the obscure corners of the castle in a passionate embrace. Alda seemed to have thrown herself into the role with gusto and no matter how many times Remus denied it to himself he looked forward to these kisses. But through it all he wished that it was Sirius in his arms. While he knew that Sirius and Alda were the same person, the soft body and breathy voice were not what he dreamed about at night.

…

"What are you getting Al for Valentine's Day?"

When Alice Prewett posed the question in passing one Saturday lunchtime Remus almost choked on his sandwich.

"Sorry?"

"Remus, it's Valentine's Day in a week. You didn't forget did you?"

"Of course not," Remus shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth, "Excuse me, I just remembered something I had to do." With that Remus disappeared out of the Great Hall. A few seconds later Alda sat beside Alice.

"You were right, he forgot." Alice smiled.

"Told you. Now I'm sure to get something really sweet." Alda smiled at the place where she had seen Remus last.

"You've really got it bad."

"You have no idea."

"I bet you'd do anything for him."

"You have no idea." Alda repeated and smiled. When Alice began talking about Freddie Mercury's overbite she didn't mind in the slightest, she was lost in thought, still looking at the place where he had been.

That afternoon Remus used all of the money, time, secret passages and wily schemes he could to ensure that this Valentine's Day was perfect. While he planned and organised he only stopped a few times to question himself about what he was doing. In the end he justified it by telling himself that he was showing his feelings to the man he loved by taking him out… while he was trapped in a woman's body… and if he hadn't gotten himself into this predicament Remus probably never would have even realised that he loved him… her… No, definitely him… Oh, Merlin what a headache.

So, it continued on this way. Remus knowing he was with the one he wanted, just not the way he wanted them and wondering what the hell would happen when everything was back to normal, until the week had whirled by and it was Saturday morning again.

Alda Marquis awoke in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory to see that a letter had been charmed onto her bed curtains.

To my most dearest,

What shall I say to you on this beautiful morning? Surely nothing to intimate, for I'm sure eyes other than yours will notice this love letter. Everyone thinks I'm so subtle. How right they are, until it comes to you. I want to shout from the top of the castle that I love you and that you make me deliriously happy every second of the day. I want everyone to know just how wonderful you are. You are sunlight and beauty and I am a lucky man to have you.

I love you more than James loves redheads.

I love you more than Alice loves an overbite.

I love you more than Snape hates shampoo.

Love always,

Remus. x.

When Alda emerged from the girl's dormitory Remus was waiting for her in the common room with a single, long-stemmed red rose and a kiss. At breakfast, as they sat side by side, one of the school owls arrived with a letter for Alda. It arrived at the same time as a similar owl, bearing it's own letter marked R. J Lupin. No one was exactly sure what the cards said but any observer would tell you that it must be good, for they both blushed profusely before they shared a few kisses. Finally she laughed and took him by the hand.

"I've got a present for you." She said slyly.

"Wouldn't mind a bit of that present." A brunette boy said as they passed. Remus smacked him up the back side of the head and kept walking.

"Lead on." Remus laughed.

In the end she led him back to the dormitory and presented him with a small, neatly wrapped parcel. Remus unwrapped it carefully to find a spell book, it was very old and filled with many difficult but useful spells for everything from duelling to charms for protection. The title was picked out in gold leaf.

"You, you really shouldn't have."

"I had to, from the first time I saw it, I knew that you'd love it."

"Where did you get this from?"

"Nicked it from Grimmauld before I left." She smiled a smile that was purely Sirius. Remus kissed it before he knew what he was doing, he missed Sirius so much. Remus ran up to put his book away and they left for a leisurely stroll of the grounds. They walked around the castle a few times, passing other couples until at about lunchtime Remus led Alda into the Forbidden Forest and to a small clearing. The sun broke through the trees and fell on a red blanket and picnic basket. Alda looked around and grinned, she raised her nose and sniffed the air before turning into a shaggy black dog and running around. By the time she was finished chasing a stray butterfly around Remus had set all of the food out and was opening a bottle of wine. Alda returned to human form and to the blanket, Remus pulled a leaf out of her hair. They sat for a while and ate in silence. Eventually Alda sidled up to Remus and kissed him again. This time she gently pushed him to the ground as she kissed him, she slowly covered his body with hers. Her hands began wandering and before long Remus realised that their shirts were now some distance away, and that his pants were almost gone too.

"Wait, wait. Please stop. Just for a second." Remus sat up, gently easing Alda up into a sitting position beside him. Her eyes searched his.

"What's wrong?"

"This whole thing is."

She tried to stand then, as tears welled in her eyes.

"No, no. I didn't mean it like that… I mean this, you, being female, being Alda. That's all wrong."

"What? Remus what are you saying?" She sat still, hope ringing in her voice.

"I'm saying that I love you. But not like this. I love you as Sirius." She kissed him again, a thousand times more passionately than ever before.

"Say it again." She whispered into his mouth.

"I love you, Sirius Black." With lips, tongues and teeth they searched and tasted and as Remus pulled out of the kiss he was shocked to find a very masculine Sirius Black kneeling before him.

"I love you too, Moony."

…

In the following hours more than a few people were confused to find Remus Lupin in secluded areas of the castle with Sirius instead of Alda until it was discovered that someone had bewitched them both. No one minded much though, except for the large percentage of the female population and a small percentage of the male population mourning the loss of two very eligible bachelors.

…

The school was abuzz the morning that not one male could be found at the Slytherin table. Someone had bewitched every guy to be a girl for a day with some hilarious results. One bat-like girl had some real potential, if she figured out what shampoo was for.

"You responsible for this?" Remus asked a laughing James.

"Not at all… if I were however, it would merely be in retaliation for what happened to Sirius."

"You still think that was a snake?"

"Who else?"

" A mutt."

"Sirius did that to himself?"

"Yep."

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"So that he could have me."

"What?"

"He did it, and it was undone when I said the words 'I love you, Sirius Black.'"

James sat and thought about it a little. In the end he smiled.

"I knew it."

"You had no idea."

"No, if what you say is true, Pads has been a girl this whole time. If you'll excuse me I'm going to go throw up… and possibly wear some flannel. There needs to be some masculinity in this group."

"And you'll provide that, will you?"

"Who else? You and Pads are camper than a row of tents and Peter is… Peter."

…


	17. Lying Low At Lupin's

Do. Not. Own. No profit. No sue!

Lying Low At Lupins.

The chill wind raked icy fingers across the barren grass. Far below the North Sea swirled and bubbled, throwing itself against the jagged rocks like an impertinent child. The howl of the squall and the rush of the water thundered along the wind. Through the grey afternoon he could make out the gnarled and twisted shape of a tree, contorted by the wind. It seemed to be sheltering behind a small wooden cottage, equally bent and squat.

"Cheerful." Sirius Black mused to himself as he stood and took in the place that was to be his home for an indefinite period. With a shaking hand he steadied the pack on his back and strode toward the cottage. When he reached the door he saw that it had recently received a lick of paint, and that there were neat curtains in the window. On the door was a brass knocker in the shape of a wolf. He reached out with rusty fingers, he knew he was holding his breath, his hands rested gently on the cold metal but before he could move it the door was flung open from inside.

"Sirius.", Remus stood, older, greyer, thinner and shabbier in the yellow glow of a warm fire. The inside of the house was far more welcoming, the walls were a clear cream, the floorboards seemingly honey. There were a few maroon chairs strewn about, a few small wooden tables each one laden with dog-eared books, and a few photographs on the walls. Sirius took it all in as Remus stood aside and patiently led him into the sitting room with a gentle hand.

"This is like that ridiculous muggle television show."

"What?"

"Doctor… Doctor Thing."

Remus grinned, "Doctor Who."

"Yeah, him… the outside's totally different from the inside."

"I must say I'm surprised that you remember it."

Sirius glanced at him distractedly, "Oh, I didn't. Not until just now. I'm starting to remember a lot of things, most of it was gone…"

They both stood there then, silently examining their shoes thinking how they were grown men and should know how to deal with this kind of situation until Remus turned and walked into a small room adjoining the sitting room.

"Tea?" He called from what Sirius figured was the kitchen.

"Yes, please."

"You can sit by the fire, if you like."

Sirius sat, resting his pack beside the couch. He sat and silently stared at the fire until a cup of tea was shoved in his face.

"Ta, Remus." He said, taking it with both hands. He slowly raised the chipped cup to his lips, revelling in the simplicity of the act and took a tentative sip. It was perfect. After all these years Remus could remember how he took his tea.

"Perfect. Thanks, Remus." He said as he settled into the chair, cradling the small cup.

"You're welcome." Remus replied from his left.

They sat and drank their tea in relative silence, only this time it was the silence that old friends shared. After a very enjoyable cup of tea Remus showed Sirius to one of the small bedrooms and wished him goodnight.

"Uh, Remus, do you mind if I… If I leave the light on? It's just… the dark…"

"That's fine, mate. I'm just in this next room if you need me, okay?"

"Right. Thanks."

"Goodnight, Sirius. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Remus."

…

Remus awoke suddenly in the cool of night, the air around him was still and the wards intact so he knew that they were in no danger but he still felt as though something was amiss. Resigned to wakefulness he ran a rough hand through his hair before rising to check on Sirius.

Sirius was not in his bed, nor was he under it.

Remus quietly made his way to the kitchen and found Sirius there beside a flickering candle, holding a full cup of cold tea. Sirius was staring at the pitch black early morning through the small window above the sink.

"Couldn't sleep?" Remus asked quietly as he sat in the chair beside Sirius with a gentle 'oof'.

"No, nightmares… and memories. I've forgotten so much but I'm slowly remembering it a piece at a time. Some of it's delightful… some, less so. At least I'm getting them back though, right?"

Remus had to admit to himself that he was disappointed that Sirius hadn't made a joke about him being an old man, but in the end that's how he felt. Old. Instead he quietly nodded and smiled a small smile as his eyes fell on Sirius' tea cup.

"You haven't finished your tea."

"It's cold and it's rubbish."

"I'll make you some more." Remus' slender hand took the cup and he moved to the small sink. Sirius' focus now fell on his oldest living friend. Remus, like Sirius, was wearing only a pair of threadbare pyjama bottoms. His thin back was exposed, a myriad of scars shone in the candle light. Sirius recognised very few of them. A million new scars, each a reminder that Remus too had spent the last thirteen years alone. Sirius cast his own eyes downward, his own ribs were visible and a few scars of his own. The dirt of Azkaban had been washed away from his body, but the grime remained in his memories. Remus' soft voice woke him from his reverie.

"There you go, Sirius." He said as he placed a hot cup in front of the animagus. Sirius nodded his thanks before taking a tentative sip. As the hot liquid coursed through his body he felt as though some of the grime had been washed away.

"Remus, this cup of tea is perfect! After all of these years you still know how I take my tea?"

"I am very clever, Sirius."

"I can't remember how to make my own tea, but you know how," he took another sip, "You aren't clever, you're a lifesaver."

Remus smiled a small smile and sipped his own tea. He never did quite learn how to take a compliment, instead he changed the subject. As his eyes settled on the flickering candle, he chuckled.

"Do you remember the time you transfigured every single candle in Hogwarts castle to look like penises?"

Sirius looked a s though he had just woken up from a daydream.

"I do remember that! I thought Minnie would kill me."

"She almost did."

"That was a great prank."

"Filtch seemed a little too pleased about it."

"No, the best part was when some went missing and James said Lily must've…" Sirius' voice wavered and Remus took Sirius by his hand.

"I miss them too, y'know. I missed you, as well. Even when I thought you were…" Remus dropped his gaze, "I would like to say that I never believed, that I always knew that you are the true friend you have always been. But I didn't, and I hated you for the longest time. I hated you right up until I saw Peter's name on the map that night. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can. You may have hated me… but in Azkaban I forgot you, I knew that I had a friend who would hate me now, but none of what we did as teenagers, the daft pranks and the idiotic jokes and the study and the laughter and the pain stayed with me. I know some things now. I've remembered bits and pieces since the escape. The only thing I really remembered was how James and Lily put their trust in me, and I am responsible for their deaths."

"Sirius Orion Black, how dare you? Peter and Peter alone is responsible for their deaths. Their blood is on his hands. All of this death and pain and horribleness… Everything that happened to James, Lily, You, me and Harry is all on his head. ALL OF IT IS ON HIM AND HIM ALONE!"

"I forgot that you had a temper." Sirius smiled a little.

"I seem to remember that you had a worse one…"

They continued talking until the day was bright and new outside. They shared a small breakfast and went for a walk, Sirius running over the heath as Padfoot. After a small lunch Padfoot fell asleep on the lounge. Remus covered him with a red blanket. A few hours later Sirius awoke to find Remus asleep on the chair beside his, head back, mouth lolling open as a small trail of drool slid down his cheek, his glasses askew on his face and a book held in his slender hand. Sirius smiled at his friend.

"Nice to see that some things don't change." He remembered a thousand evenings in the common room when Remus fell asleep in his chair. Sirius gently removed Remus' glasses and placed his book on the chest nearby before he covered Remus with the same blanket he had found himself under a few moments ago. He then flicked a stray piece of hair out of Remus' face and headed to the kitchen to attempt to start dinner.

…

After one small fire and a small, burnt dinner Sirius and Remus retired as they had the night before. And just like the night before Remus awoke in the inky morning knowing that there was something amiss. Once again he found Sirius in the kitchen holding a cold cup of tea.

"Was I responsible for the worst John Wayne impersonation in history?" Sirius asked before flashing Remus a toothy grin.

"I was convinced for a time that you were actually impersonating a demented parrot that was itself impersonating The Duke."

"It can't have been that bad…"

Remus merely turned his face to one side, strutted in a stiff, yet decidedly pigeon-toed way around the table before stopping on the other side of Sirius and saying 'Hello pilgrim.' In response Sirius held his head in his hands.

"Why would I have done such a thing?"

"Firewhiskey."

"Of course, what else?"

"Merlin, we used to drink a lot."

"Ah, youth… we're old men now. No more of that nonsense."

"No. I don't have any in the house."

"Bugger. Tea it is."

…

The two men continued this strange ritual, sleepy days followed by nights of reminiscing. Slowly they found themselves again.

On the third night they remembered the day they found out that James' middle name was O'Bannion

On the fourth night they remembered the day that James told them he and Lily were expecting a baby.

On the fifth night they talked of Peter, it was not a nice night.

On the sixth night they talked of lost years and lost friends.

It wasn't until the seventh night that they talked of each other. When Remus entered the kitchen Sirius handed him a warm cup of tea. Remus took it with raised eyebrows before sitting at the table. He sipped the tea slowly. It was perfect. He was about to tell Sirius so when his friend spoke. Sirius was still facing the sink.

"Like the tea Moony?" It was the first time in thirteen years that anyone had called him that and he couldn't stop the single tear that rolled down his cheek.

"It's perfect. Thanks Padfoot."

"I remembered."

"That's nice." He said to his friends back.

"I remembered just now." Sirius said as he finally turned to face Remus.

"Are you okay, Pads?"

"I remembered because I remembered all of those mornings that I kissed you. I remembered how you tasted."

"Pads, I-"

"Gods Remus, you tasted so good! How did I let that go? How did I forget it?" Sirius smashed his teacup on the floor, "Look at us! Half lost in time and regret. Do you regret me?"

"Oh, Sirius I could never regret loving you. Not now that I know the truth. Like Bowie said 'The Brightest Star'."

"I get flashes of how we used to be so free, so alive and I've tasted it again in a few moments with you. It makes me afraid. A fear I held when we were together… Have you outgrown me?"

"Follow me." Remus led Sirius to the next room, lighting the lamp beside the lounge. Beside his desk sat a large chest. He merely opened it and gestured for Sirius to look inside. Sirius knelt and saw before him photographs and letters and trinkets. Every piece of evidence that they had shared a great romance was before him. He looked up at Remus.

"You said you hated me."

"I did but I still couldn't bring myself to destroy them… The amount of times I stood over this chest, matches at the ready, and I still couldn't. For the longest time I thought myself weak. The first time I tried and failed I crawled into a bottle and stayed there for a month."

Sirius turned and searched with gently shaking hands through the letters and photographs until finally he came across a letter he didn't recognise. He unfolded the letter and held it up to the light.

Sirius,

I sit writing this as you sleep on the lounge. I must confess a strange feeling sweeps through me somewhere between hope and fear. Perhaps after all these years my heart is awakening from its slumber. I feel so old, and I can see the strain that your years in Azkaban have had on you. Is it love that lets me find your refined features, your inherent nobility and your beauty even now under the layers of Azkaban? Is it hope that draws my eyes to the hands that once knew me so well? Is it longing that makes me so glad to share a simple cup of tea with you, or loneliness that makes me hang on every glorious word you say? Despite the pain and fear your voice is honey to me. Is it time that has dulled the spectacular arguments we used to have? Is it age that has made me so cautious? You probably would say not but I was bold in my youth, I know I was. I don't know any of these things. I don't even know if I will ever show you this letter, but I do know one thing.

I know that it is fear that prevents me from throwing this letter to the floor and waking you with a kiss. Fear that you will be unable or unwilling to love me. Fear that I would die if that were to be true. Fear, dear Sirius, is what keeps me here, and has since the day I lost you and everything I held dear. I know it and yet I fear still. I'm trapped and drowning in it and perhaps I would ask you to rescue me, if I didn't see you struggling too.

We are two broken down old men.

But I love you as much as I did when I was a young, hungry man. I just don't know what to do about it, so I will put this love letter with all of the others. I hope I show this to you someday soon, because in its own way it is a love letter. I do love you, Sirius Black and I hope one day you say you love me back.

Love Unending,

Remus. x

Sirius stood and took hold of Remus like he had in the Shrieking Shack, only this time he searched out Remus' lips with his own. Slowly and gently the kiss continued, each man feeling a little younger each second, until wandering hands searched out old lovers. Remus rediscovered that Sirius was ticklish, a discovery that pleased and annoyed Sirius in equal measure. Sirius learned that the years hadn't dulled his desire for the thin lycanthrope. Both men were quietly sad to find the other so thin, but in the end the fact that they were once more in each other's arms was heaven. With slow and cumbersome movements they somehow managed to get to Remus' bedroom without breaking their kiss. They fumbled with each other's clothes until finally they stood naked together in the soft moonlight.

"I'm still broken, Moony."

"I know. Me too."

"Gods I want you."

"I had an inkling…" Remus dropped his gaze for a second and blushed.

"I love that you talk dirty and get embarrassed, and I love that I can remember that. I love the sight of you here in front of me, the taste of you on my lips, the smell of you on me, the trails of heat your hands left on my body. I love you, Remus Lupin," Sirius took Remus' hand in his and kissed the palm gently, "Now get on the bed."

…

From then on there were no nocturnal meetings, the two men talked in the sunlight about the past. They spent the next few weeks relearning how to live and could have gone on quite comfortably in that manner had the problems of the world outside intruded on their idyll. A note bearing an unreasonable request broke the spell of tranquillity. Sirius would have to return to a different sort of prison.

But that's for another story.

…


	18. Raising Harry  Part One

…Not Mine. Don't sue…

Raising Harry - Part One.

…

Petunia Dursley was a lot of things. She was opinionated, nosy, greedy, small-minded, mildly racist, judgemental and a know-it-all…

…now she was dead. If only she had learned to keep her mouth shut.

Petunia Dursley said a lot of things, often these things weren't worth hearing but she said them anyway. She mixed vitriol and venom with ignorance and fear. There are many people in the world just like her but for Petunia words would lead to her downfall, and that of her young family. Four simple words. Four words more innocent than most things she said. Four words:

"I have no sister."

Four words, spoken thrice that undid the powerful magic cast by her sister at death. Magic that protected The-Boy-Who-Lived and his unwilling guardians.

The first time she said the words was when she held her infant nephew in one arm and the letter describing the fate of her brave and beautiful sister in the other. She looked down at the quietly squirming boy with cold eyes as her mouth twisted into a cruel snarl

"I have no sister."

Over the next eighteen months she repeated the phrase twice and brought death to her doorstep…

….

March 1982.

In a small yet quietly luxurious cottage a man was asleep. This, is of course nothing strange, blokes sleep in cottages all the time. However this man didn't know the cottage and if you could ask it the cottage would have said that it had no bloody idea who the man was, yet here they were. The man was upstairs asleep on top of the covers, fully dressed. Downstairs a leaking tap had been fixed and the garden weeded. Remus always did this when he broke into muggles houses. He didn't feel right about helping himself to food and the occasional piece of clothing when his were too worn, so instead he did odd jobs. It was more like a payment. If he was completely honest Remus would tell you that he didn't feel right about much of anything these days, not since James and Lily and Peter… Remus had been living a half-life. He couldn't bear the magical world and the muggle world seemed so coarse, so he had walked out of his flat one day and never looked back. Every full moon he would bind himself with magic and nurse the wounds the morning after. He wasn't happy, but sometimes he wondered if he ever had been. He thought he would live the rest of his life like this…

Remus never was any good at divination.

In the early hours Remus was awoken by a silver light and a familiar voice in an unfamiliar tone.

"Harry's in danger, get to little Whingeing immediately." The phoenix had Dumbledore's voice but Remus had never heard fear in it before. Before he knew whether it was yet another bad dream or not he had clutched his wand and spun out of the bed, instead of hitting the soft carpet on the bedroom floor Remus landed on the pavement outside of Arabella Figg's house. He peered around. The grey air was still. A little too still. Above the roof of a house to his left he could make out a skull, a hideous snake twisting and writhing from its mouth in a grotesque jeer. Remus prayed he wasn't too late. He scrambled to the corner, crouching low and looking down the street. The Dursley's house was blown apart, Remus tried not to compare the wreckage to Lily's house, but the similarities were shocking. Lace curtains billowed out of the broken windows. A whole wall at the front of the house was blown out, books and toys littered the front lawn. Beside a broken chair lay Petunia. Her unseeing eyes stared up at the twisting shape. Her body seemed much smaller in death, her skin pallid and her mouth a strange colour. Cradled in her arms lay her son, he could have been asleep but Remus knew better. A little way away from them was Vernon. He was face down on the grass, his arms askew and a huge gash out of the back of his head. Remus screwed his eyes shut and sat against the low brick wall he had been hiding behind careful to stay out of sight. He was blinking back tears.

"Where is he?"

Remus' eyes sprang open.

"I can't find him, either! For a minute there I thought the fat one was gonna tell me where he was… Weak Muggle died instead didn't he? Useless!"

Remus gripped his wand tighter. _They can't find Harry, there's still hope_. He was trying to formulate a plan, wondering why no one else was there when he heard a muffled footfall behind him. He cast the binding curse before he saw who it was. Seconds later he saw Minerva McGonnagal hit the ground, as stiff as a board, Mad-eye and Arthur watching on in a mixture of shock and bemusement. Remus quickly undid the charm and offered a hand to the older lady. She batted his hand away and pulled herself off the ground. She gave Remus a look he hadn't seen since he and the marauders had enchanted the castle armour to sing bawdy love songs and recite risqué pick-up lines to celebrate her birthday. He quickly let them know of the situation. Mad-eye nodded and swivelled his eye, and signalled to the others. The quartet ran into the street. Two death-eaters were felled by curses before they had time to raise their wands, four more appeared from the house. Minerva took the one on the far left, Mad-eye the one beside him. Arthur shot a curse at the man nearest the Dursley's bodies. Remus made a beeline for the man blocking the front door. Remus and the man stood opposite each other, unmoving.

"Nice doggie." The death eater taunted.

"Dolhov, I see you're as charming as ever."

With that the movement started, both men firing curses at each other. Remus could focus on nothing else, he just hoped that the others were winning their duels- many an order member had been killed by a curse to the back. After a while Dolhov seemed to slow, one of Remus' hexes almost got through.

"Tired Dolhov? Killing an unarmed family knock the wind out of you? You must be getting old if slaughtering a woman and child is a bit too much." Remus remarked as though he were talking about the weather.

"Woman and child?" Dolhov seemed honestly confused, "No, not here. All that died here was vermin… Vermin like that which died at Godrick's Hollow."

Remus saw red.

There was no sound save for the rumble of blood through Remus' ears as he forgot his wand and launched himself bodily at Remus. Dolhov may have been taken aback for a second, but soon began fighting back with fists, teeth and feet. Remus' rage propelled his violence, teeth bared, growling like the animal within. Eventually Remus was astride Dolhov forcing the other man's head to the ground when he heard a snap.

Dolhov stopped struggling. Remus let go of the man, he fell with a soft thud to the grass. Remus glance around to see the others still duelling their adversaries. Remus ran into the house. He ran upstairs and began tearing the rooms apart. There wasn't much left unsearched, however, before long he was ransacking the ground floor. Mad-eye lumbered into the room.

"Can you see him, Mad-eye?"

The magic eye swivelled wildly, after a second Mad-eye furrowed his brow.

"I don't believe it."

"What?"

Mad-eye pointed to a small door beneath the stairs. Remus didn't believe it, but he found himself moving toward it instinctively. As he got closer he saw the small bolt on the door and the little grill that was padlocked. He still didn't fully believe it until he whispered a charm and the door sprung open to reveal a small, shaking bespectacled boy with a shock of untidy black hair. Remus reached out to the boy, but he flinched, pulling away. Then Remus saw the bruises. _Vernon Dursley, be thankful that you're already dead._

"Harry, it's okay." He smiled, "It's me, Remus… Do you remember me? I've come to take you away."

The little boy regarded the scruffy man, his eyes squinting in concentration. A second later his mouth twisted into an unsure smile.

"Mooey?"

Remus smiled large and held out his arms to the boy who threw himself into them.

"Oh, Harry, I'm so glad you're safe."

"I's okay Mooey, don't cry. The noises stopped."

Remus stood, Harry in his arms. The boy made a noise when Remus bumped one of the bruises. They walked past the Dursleys, who were now covered by the sheets that Arthur had conjured. Remus nodded to Minerva and whispered a quiet reassurance to Harry before he apparated to Hogsmeade.

…

Dumbledore and Poppy waited at the gates to Hogwarts. They saw the thin man approaching, his back straight, a man on a mission. Dumbledore was happy to see the man find a purpose again.

Until he saw the look in the man's eye.

"What in Merlin's name did you think you were doing? Leaving this tiny, precious boy with those, those… _animals_? Look at him, he's terrified, starving and _covered_ in bruises! Did you know about this? Did you think it would just stop?"

"I had hoped-"

"Hoped? HOPED? How long would it have gone on? Until he was of age?"

Harry put a hand over Remus' mouth.

"Don't yell Mooey. Mooeys are nice. Yelling isn't nice." The boy admonished in a voice remarkably like his mothers.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I was just so worried about you. Come on, we'll let Poppy look at you, and get you something to eat, okay?"

"Okay." Remus nodded quietly to Dumbledore and Poppy. The nurse fell into step beside the werewolf as they walked toward the castle.

Behind them Dumbledore watched, the twinkle in his blue eyes. He had found the right man to raise The Boy-Who-Lived.

…

…

…

So, that's part one. Let me know what you thought. Hope it was good enough after my long absence.

S.M x


	19. Raising Harry Part Two

Not Mine. Don't Sue.

RAISING HARRY- Part 2

Harry Potter's first night at Hogwarts was an eventful one. He refused point-blank to let Poppy examine him, choosing instead to cling to Remus like a small, deranged koala.

"Come now, Harry. Let me look at you." Poppy laid a reassuring hand on the boy's thin shoulder.

"No." Harry pulled away.

"I think the sight of the castle was a little… daunting,' Remus offered, "Harry can I check you over?"

Harry continued to cling to the thin werewolf but nodded his head against his chest. Ignoring Poppy's impatient eye-rolling Remus checked the boy and found him relatively healthy.

Next they went to the kitchens where Remus discovered that the only thing a house elf likes more than a Marauder is a mini-marauder. Harry's tiny eyes gleamed at the sight of the delicious food that the elves brought. He smiled at Remus as he ate, until his eyes grew drowsy and he yawned large, uncovering his rounded belly.

"I think it might be bed time, eh, Harry?" Remus picked Harry up, but not before the boy could swipe the nearest piece of cake from the bench in front of him. The boy nibbled half-heartedly on it until Remus came to a bare wall and paced up and down a few times. Before long a door appeared, Remus opened it to reveal a small flat. There was a bathroom to his left and two rooms on the facing wall. He led Harry to the nearest one, inside there was a small bed and a toy box. Remus lay the small boy down, removing the piece of cake from his grasp and the spectacles from his face. He tucked the boy in and found a small stuffed hippogriff at hand. Remus tucked it under Harry's arm and kissed the boy gently on the forehead.

"Goodnight Harry." He whispered as the boys eyes fluttered shut.

"Night Mooey." He breathed, half asleep already. Remus stood looking at the boy, this room, the whole flat was very much like the one he and Sirius had shared just out of Hogwarts – the one he had walked out of without a backwards glance sixteen months ago. He wondered if he'd ever be really rid of it. Of Sirius. His thoughts were interrupted by a light knocking at the door. Remus opened it to reveal Minerva McGonagall.

"Good morning Remus." She smiled a small smile. Remus stood aside to allow her into the room.

"Dumbledore would like to see you in his office. I can sit here and listen for the boy." Remus cast a glance at the door to Harry's room before he nodded quietly.

"Thanks, Minnie." Minerva smiled in spite of herself and Remus tried to ignore the sound of Sirius' laughter in his ears at the unintended insolence. His ears burned as he left the room. He was annoyed at himself for thinking of the traitor again. By the time he had followed the early-morning light to the gargoyle statue Remus had worked himself into a good old-fashioned temper.

"Sherbet Lemon." He snapped at the statue.

"Tetchy, aren't we?" It murmured as the staircase rose. Remus entered Dumbledore's office without knocking. He was ready to let Albus endure the full force of his rage when he noticed that there was someone else in the room. A stranger in a lime green bowler hat.

"Remus, my dear boy,' Dumbledore swept across the room and took Remus by the shoulder, both steering him towards the man and masking Remus' annoyance from the man, "This is Cornelius Fudge. He's a Ministry representative, he's here to oversee the legal parts of the conversation we're about to have." Cornelius stuck a hand out and Remus shook it while he swallowed his rage.

"Nice to meet you." Remus smiled a little awkwardly.

"Quite." The man smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Remus had seen it a million times – he knew that Remus was a werewolf. Dumbledore steered Remus to a chair near his desk and sat opposite Remus.

"I'm sure you realise that Harry must be relocated as soon as possible." Dumbledore began.

"Of course." Remus agreed, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in his chest - they were going to take the boy away.

"He will need seclusion, safety, careful care… and love. Above all love. I seem to have made that mistake with placing the boy once before. I shall not do it again. That's why I think that you would be the perfect man for the job." His blue eyes sparkled.

Remus didn't know what to say. He ended up just smiling at the man opposite him.

"If I may?" Fudge interrupted. Dumbledore motioned for him to continue with a lazy sweep of his hand.

"As this is a special case there are a few considerations and differences when it comes to raising Harry. You must take the boy somewhere outside of the magical world, even the Ministry cannot know where. The boy will of course re-enter the wizarding world to start his schooling but until then you and he will live with a minimum of magic. There will be no trace on the household."

"No problem."

"However, there are some things that even the Ministry can't overlook, at birth Harry was named as godson to Sirius Black. It didn't matter when the boy went to live with blood relatives, but he is now, according to wizarding law, the ward of Sirius Orion Black. In order for you to become the boy's guardian you must do one thing."

"Anything." Remus answered firmly.

"You must personally go to the boy's godfather and ask for him to relinquish any claim on the boy. Tradition dictates that in return for relinquishing his guardianship he must be granted one request."

"Anything?"

"Yes. As long as it's legal." Dumbledore answered.

"Then Harry will be my responsibility?"

"Yes." Fudge answered.

"When do I go?"

"This afternoon."

Remus nodded gravely.

…

Remus returned to the room of requirement and told Minerva what Dumbledore had said. She smiled, happy for Remus but aware of how painful the next few hours would be. He bade her goodbye as she headed to breakfast. He went to check on Harry, he stood and looked at the boy before he moved the boy aside and lay down beside him, cradling him in his arm. Like this he fell asleep, strange thoughts of shadows and musty rooms tugging at the side of his brain as he fell asleep.

…

A few hours later Remus awoke to the feeling of small knees on his chest and two hands pressing his cheeks together. Harry laughed.

"Mooey! You're a fishie!"

…

Ooh. What will happen at Azkaban? Where will they live? Can Harry get any cuter? Find out in the next instalment of Raising Harry. (In the meantime feel free to leave a review!)


	20. Raising Harry Part Three

So, it's been a while and I really wanted to get this particular scene right. It's not hugely long, but I'm happy with it. Next part shouldn't take quite so long. Enjoy!

Not mine. Don't sue.

Raising Harry- Part Three.

Harry clutched Minerva's hand, his stuffed Hippogriff pulled tightly to his chest with his free arm. His bottom lip trembled but he was valiantly trying not to cry.

"I won't be long, Harry." Remus said softly.

The boy nodded in reply, steeling himself with a deep intake of breath. Remus twisted away, wondering if the crack of apparition would startle the boy and break his resolve. He hated that he wouldn't be there to dry the tears, but he had to go so he could be there for the boy for the rest of his life. His feet landed on the jagged stones.

Remus had arrived at Azkaban.

The grey rocks of the outcrop were battered and thrashed by the wayward sea. The sky was a squall. The wind tore at his cloak. The rumble of the sea and the scream of the wind were punctured by the screams coming from the crumbling building before him. The chill seemed to eat away at Remus. He pulled his wand from his cloak and muttered. A silver vapour oozed into the air before him, shapeless and weak. Before long it was swept away on the wind. Remus swore, closed his eyes and concentrated. Again the silver light spilled from his wand, this time it was a fawn. It pranced around the outcrop before it stopped at the cavernous door. It looked at Remus expectantly. The werewolf sighed and followed. Remus' legs seemed heavy, and the cold seemed to have seeped into his bones but he would not pull his cloak tighter. He had precious little pride left. He'd be damned if he'd relinquish any of it here.

The ancient rocks steeped in the grit and grief of the ages looked as though it might close in on Remus, he kept his eyes up and ahead, he refused to glance at the sometimes babbling, sometimes screaming, always mad inmates. In what seemed like an eternity Remus came to the cell he was looking for. The bars were slimy and rusted, the cell filled with nothing but shadows and dirt. It seemed empty. Remus knew better and his certainty was vindicated when a voice addressed him from the deepest shadow.

"What brings you to our little zoo? Doing a little sightseeing are we?" It was Sirius' voice, yet scratchy and empty. No sooner had the voice broken from the shadow it seemed to part to reveal Sirius Black. He was incredibly thin, filthy and seemed to have aged a decade in the last sixteen months.

"You look like your mother." Remus replied.

Sirius put on a face of mock hurt, "Was that designed to hurt me, dear Remus? You should know that after this place it barely stings. Besides, it's hardly your style. I always thought you were better than that."

"Yes, it can be hard seeing someone's true nature, Black."

"Touche." Sirius wandered to the bars, "Now, is there a reason for your visit? I'm due to be tortured at four. So, if we could hurry this along."

"I want custody of Harry. I'm legally obligated to ask his legal guardian to relinquish any claim or ties to the boy.' Remus' tone had been relatively calm, but his voice now changed to something threatening and dangerous. He stared at Sirius, his body impossibly still, 'I want him. You're going to let me have him."

Sirius shrugged, "What would I do with him from here?"

"In return I must grant you a favour."

Sirius smiled a hard, mirthless grin, "This is killing you isn't it?"

Remus didn't reply. He merely stared at the man before him. Sirius sighed and placed his right hand over his chest. His voice was steady and rich.

"I Sirius Orion Black, final heir to the noble and most ancient House of Black hereby relinquish any and all claim to the boy, Harry James Potter, the orphaned son of James and Lily Potter, forever more and always." He turned and stalked back to the shadows. Remus almost thought he was smaller as he entered the shadow. It seemed to fold in on him, wrapped in the darkness he was invisible again.

"In return?" Remus asked the dark.

An age seemed to pass.

From the ink a voice croaked.

"A trial. I want a trial."

…

DUHN DUHN DUHHHNNNNNNNNN! Stay tuned, kids. More to come!


	21. Raising Harry Part Four

Not mine, don't sue.

(with a special guest appearance.)

Raising Harry- part 4

The shackles weighed heavy and harsh on his wrists. The grime had been scraped away on the short trip from Azkaban revealing red raw skin. The warmth from the trickle of blood startled him at first, but soon it lead to a resolve. His skin had broken, but he never would. The crimson trickle ran down his thumb. He looked down with grey eyes and saw that his hands were shaking. Above him the eyes of the Wizangamot like sparks in the firmament.

Bound and on trial Sirius Black hadn't felt this free in years.

…

Bleary eyes and bacon and eggs don't mix. Remus learned this the hard way. It was his and Harry's first breakfast in their new cottage. He tried not to swear when he cut himself. He wrapped his left index finger in the nearest tea towel, the blood soaking through. He reached for the box of sticking plasters but his slender fingers merely scrabbled against the box and it hit the floor with a mocking thud. Remus sighed. He raised his eyes to the heavens. When he looked down again a tiny hand held a plaster out to him. Soon the tiny hands held his left hand tenderly and helped Remus to stem the flow. Harry kissed the plaster.

Remus looked down at the boy, his heart as free as a bird.

…

Sometimes the cat came. Sometimes he wished that he had the guts to throw himself into the light when it did. End it all. He found it hard enough having nine fingers but the constant fear and isolation were an added torture. Even here, among the rats, Wormtail was an outcast. He gripped at the slippery seed, small, browning fibres hung forlornly from the jagged pip. At the end of the day food was food and he was so hungry. A warning squeal came from somewhere to his left. He pushed himself further into the wall, the seed abandoned, as the shadow drowned him in darkness.

It wasn't just the cat that kept him captive.

…

The Auror to his left was Kingsley Shacklebolt. His robes were purple and impossibly clean next to Sirius' filthy rags. The huge auror had said only a few things to Sirius, each time his voice measured and calm. Mad-Eye Moody was to his right, his eye had been swivelling madly but was now still as it made contact with Sirius' grey orbs. Sirius stared back, a haughty expression that was the hallmark of his bloodline writ large across his face. Mad-eye held the look for a long time before he shook his head and looked away. Above and around him the sombre robes of the Wizangamot were a wall. Someone tripped Sirius as he stepped toward the chair. Mad-eye reached out a hand and caught him before he fell. Somehow the look that passed between the two aurors told Sirius that this was no mere accident, it was a reminder of the lightning reflexes of his captors. He was pushed down into the chair. He looked up into the eyes of the greatest wizard the world had ever known. Dumbledore seemed to fill the room.

The ice of the blue eyes was as cold as a night near the dementors, but Sirius' heart coursed hot blood through his veins and he knew that soon all would be revealed. He tried not to smile.

…

The roof seemed to sag a little in the middle and one of the gutters had more holes than actual gutter. The kitchen was small and cramped. The floorboards were worn and comforting. The furniture was a mish-mash of patterns, colours and textures. Remus' favourite was the bed with the lions head. He couldn't help but think that James would approve of that bed for Harry. The boy had a small toy box in the sitting room beside Remus' bookshelf. His tiny boots sat beside the front door next to Remus' worn shoes. Everywhere Remus looked he saw Harry. Every minute he rediscovered a piece of himself. He sat at the table now, his and Harry's breakfast in hand. The little boy smiled up at him, his glasses on a sleepy angle and his black hair pointing in all directions.

Remus smiled as the boy took his first mouthful of scrambled eggs. The hand with the plaster reached out with a clean tea towel and wiped a little piece of egg off the side of the boy's mouth.

…

This time the shadow seemed to be there forever. The crush of the rats was almost unbearable as they scrambled to stay away from the swiping yet lazy claws. Wormtail looked once more at the abandoned peach stone and again around the cramped space. It was always damp, the fur of what seemed like a thousand rats all grey and black and brown. A sea of rough fibres. He turned his eyes to the stone wall, mould and mildew had been scraped off by hungry yellow teeth and rough tongues long ago. Finally he saw a flurry as the claw found an unwary target. The terrifying yellow eyes and the flash of teeth as the feline crushed down on its prey. The red on its maw and the struggling of the unlucky rat. Soon the shadow fell away. Wormtail sniffed the air and made a decision. His dinner had been claimed by another.

There was no safety in numbers. He looked at the pit one last time before he turned his nose to the outside world and ran. His eyes filled with light, his heart with despair.

…

Kingsley's massive hands held the small vial. With slow assurance he unstoppered the bottle and held it gently to Sirius' lips. Sirius swallowed the clear liquid. It was neither hot or cold and it had no flavour. He felt almost instantly drowsy. The veritaserum made its way down to his toes, his feet feeling even heavier. The eyes above watched him patiently yet they were filled with suspicion. Sirius waited. He'd waited this long, and very soon they would all know.

Kingsley took away the vial. He took his place beside Mad-eye behind Sirius' chair. Sirius swallowed once more. Dumbledore began.

…

Remus savoured the salty crunch of the bacon. It was crispy and his toast was slightly burned with a little more butter than was necessary- just the way he liked it. He chewed quietly, trying not to stare at Harry too much. He took a sip of tea, the hot liquid traced a line beneath his chest. He took a deep breath and surveyed his new life.

His knife scraped against the plate putting his teeth a little on edge. His grimace turned to a grin when he noticed Harry blowing bubbles in his milk.

…

He could taste nothing but the metallic tang of fear and the cold of desperation. It had been so long since his last meal. His tiny claws scrabbled on the path. He kept a lookout for any predators and ran. Soon he came to a ramshackle house, a berry bush between him and its tumbledown fence. He stopped and with hungry hands snatched a berry from the bush. The juice was sweet and rich. His tastebuds were impatient and the first taste of food did nothing but make his stomach ache worse than before.

He sucked and chewed at the fruit. Ignoring the shocked rumble of his belly and not hearing the quiet footfalls behind him.

…

"Sirius Black, this trial by veritaserum was called and so has assembled to examine your culpability in the deaths of Peter Petigrew,James and Lily Potter and several others. You have taken the veritaserum willingly and will answer any and all questions put to you by this court. Do you understand?" Dumbledore's voice was forceful and stern.

"Yes." Sirius' voice was clear and crisp despite his drowsiness.

"You called this trial yourself, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I was granted one demand when I renounced any and all claim on The-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry James Potter. This is what I picked."

"Are you saying that you are not responsible for their deaths? That you didn't kill them?" A woman to Dumbledore's right asked.

"Mrs Bagshott, I am responsible for their deaths', a ripple of assured scandal swept around the room, 'but I did not kill anyone." The ripple stopped. Many of the eyes above him were wide.

"Explain how that could be, Mr Black." Dumbledore restored the proceedings.

"I admit that I am responsible for the deaths of James and Lily Potter. I was supposed to be their secret keeper when they went into hiding. I was supposed to take their secret and die if necessary to protect it. I felt that maybe I was the obvious choice and suggested James get another secret keeper, someone that they would never suspect. Someone others might think weak. We were wrong about his weakness, and his loyalty and you are wrong about his death."

"Who was the secret keeper?" Dumbledore asked, his voice low yet strong.

"Peter Pettigrew." The oxygen in the room seemed to disappear.

"Peter Pettigrew and thirteen others died by your hand." A voice behind him called. Sirius directed all of his answers to the blue eyed man.

"No, I didn't. When I saw that James and Lily were dead, and that I had led them to an agent of the Voldemort I was consumed with anger and grief. I sought out a man I had once called friend. I wanted to kill him, I don't deny it, but I failed. When I confronted Peter he must have been waiting for me. He screamed that his deeds were mine and there was a thunderous explosion."

"You killed him. All you left was a finger." The same voice yelled.

"No. He cut his finger off and escaped. I saw him scurrying away down the sewer."

"Scurrying? How?" Dumbledore asked, waving aside disbelieving sounds around him.

"Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and I have been animagus' since our fifth year at Hogwarts."

"What?"

"Remus Lupin is a werewolf. He was our best friend, we loved him so and we couldn't stand to see the injuries after each full moon. A captive werewolf will tear itself to pieces to sate its bloodlust. James took the form of a stag, he was big enough to control Remus if he got out. I was a black dog, I would run and chase Remus.' The Wizangamot was filled with quiet faces, all serious, some sympathetic, 'Peter was a rat, we needed someone small enough to get past the whomping willow."

"The whomping willow?"

"The entrance to the passage that leads to the shrieking shack." It was Dumbledore's voice that answered the question this time.

"I am responsible for the wrong decision. A decision that cost someone I considered a brother his life and the life of his beautiful wife. I sought blood but have never spilled any." Sirius hung his head, suddenly tired. The Wizangamot erupted into dozens of voices.

Dumbledore sat silently watching the crumpled young man, the heavy shackles pulling on his wrists.

…

"Mooey. Can we get a dog?"

"A dog?"

"Yeah. I like dogs."

"I'm not sure about that Harry. I don't think it's a good idea just yet."

Harry pushed his eggs around his plate, some fell onto the table next to it.

"Aunt Tuney wouldn't let me have a dog either. She didn't like them. Don't you like dogs?"

"I like dogs fine –"

"Like Padfoot?"

Remus froze and stared at Harry. He figured he was stupid to think that Harry would remember him but not Sirius.

"How are your eggs?"

"Getting cold." Harry made a frown and stared at his eggs.

"Padfoot is gone. Maybe one day you can get a dog, but not just yet, okay?"

"Okay."

"Don't be sad, Harry."

"M'not."

Remus smiled a sad smile, Harry looked up and saw it. He was about to say something when Remus flung a piece of egg. It hit Harry on the scar. The boy squealed in delight and threw some egg back.

Remus and Harry's laughter blended together, and the kitchen slowly filled with egg.

…

The small boot caught the rat just under his rib.

"Get away from my berries!" the gnome growled, kicking the rat again.

Wormtail clung to the berry and tried to get away but the gnome seemed to move impossibly fast. He ran for the fence. He squeezed beneath it and thought he was free when the boot caught him again. The boot hitting his ribs made a thud. Just when he thought this might be the end a small chubby hand grabbed him around the middle. The gnome was held in the boys other hand.

"Get off him!" the boy said in a serious, bossy tone. He spun the gnome by its feet and it flew over the fence. The little boy had a shock of ginger hair. His freckled finger stroked Wormtail's side gently.

"Poor little guy, that mean old gnome… I think I'll keep you. You look hungry."

"What've you got there, Percy?" another red headed child sauntered up.

"Bill, this is my new rat."

"Looks sick, mate. Should you be holding him?"

"He's not sick, he just got bashed by a gnome."

"Oh. What's his name?"

"Ummm… Scabbers."

Just before he lost consciousness Wormtail wished the kid had thought up a different name.

…

The voices in the cavernous room suddenly died when Dumbledore held up a hand.

"Sirius Black, for sixteen months you were an inmate at Azkaban. This trial has uncovered a gross injustice. This court finds you an innocent man. Veritaserum does not lie and neither did you. Though a few minor offences seemed to have been perpetrated, you will henceforth be registered as an amimagus and you are now free to go."

Sirius looked up at the man, his face a study in sorrow, Sirius gave him a reassuring nod. His hands felt suddenly lighter. He looked down to see that the shackles had disappeared. There was a warmth and his raw and broken skin was healed. He looked up and saw that Mad-eye was talking to him.

He didn't hear what he said, instead he fell to the floor, exhausted, relieved and free.

Finally free.

…

Next chapter up soon. Feel free to review!


	22. Raising Harry Part Five

Not Mine Don't sue.

Raising Harry Part Five

Harry eyed the owl with a mixture of suspicion and wonder. He threw it a treat from the bag Remus kept next to the window. The owl seemed to swallow it straight down. Harry figured that since it didn't seem to have teeth that it probably had no choice. It hooted quietly and turned and flew away. Harry shrugged and followed his guardian into the sitting room. He climbed onto the squashy armchair and sat beside Remus. The letter was opened. Harry wished once again that he could understand the scratchy marks on the parchment. He contented himself with staring at the letter. Soon he noticed that Remus' hands were shaking, he glanced up a little to see that Remus' chest was rising and falling unevenly. His eyes moved higher.

Remus was crying.

"Mooey. You are crying. Did someone write something mean?"

Remus wiped his eyes on the cuff of his shirt. He sniffled and blinked before he looked down at Harry.

"Oh, no Harry. Quite the opposite. I just got a shock, that's all."

Harry looked uncertainly down at the parchment and back up to Remus.

"Does it say boo?" he asked earnestly.

Remus chuckled quietly.

"No, it doesn't.' He put the letter aside and pulled Harry onto his lap, 'Do you remember what I said happened to Padfoot."

"You said he was gone. Like Mummy and Daddy, Mummy and Daddy are gone too. They got in a car and it crashed and they died."

"What? Who told you that?"

"Aunt Tuney."

"That's not true, Harry. One day I'll tell you what happened, but that isn't true. Okay?"

"Okay. Aunt Tuney is dead too, isn't she?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Will you die?" Harry's wide, tear-filled eyes locked onto Remus'.

"One day. A long time from now. When you're all grown up and I'm really old."

"I don't want you to die…"

Remus hugged Harry tightly and spoke softly.

"I think you've had to deal with enough of that already. I'm not going anywhere."

A few minutes later Harry began to squirm in Remus' arms, his muffled voice came from Remus' chest.

"Maybe you could go to the kitchen… and make me a hot chocolate." Remus laughed and ruffled Harry's hair as he stood with the boy cradled in his arms.

"Now that is something you can never have enough of."

…

Harry was in bed and Remus had washed the cups in the sink. He had also discovered yet another dried hunk of egg from the food fight the other morning. He peeled it off with his thumbnail and wiped the cupboard door again. He had set out a quill, ink and some parchment before he had started the washing up. He eyed them now, he knew he was stalling but he decided that he would need a cup of tea before he sat down with them.

He rejected the first pot as a test-run. The second he decided that the water wasn't hot enough, until finally the third pot was done. He poured it into the chipped cup and lifted the saucer, balancing the cup on shaking hands. _Get a grip on yourself, Lupin_. He thought. He re-read the letter he had received that afternoon and finally picked up the quill. He dipped it in the ebony ink, lifted his hand to the parchment, took a deep breath, stabbed the quill back into the ink pot and leapt from his chair, pacing into the sitting room. _This is just silly_. With a final mutter of 'For fuck's sake, Remus,' he was sitting at the table again, the nib swirling over the parchment.

…

Sirius surveyed his fingernails, he had cleaned them a million times since his acquittal but still he could see the grit from Azkaban beneath them. He wondered if perhaps it would always be there. He decided that he could live with the dirty fingernails if it meant that the nightmares would stop. A swoop of wings startled him out of his reverie. The owl had a letter attached to its leg. He pulled it away, petted the owl and pushed it towards the window. It gave an annoyed hoot and ruffled its feathers.

"Do I look like a bloke who carries owl treats? This is a hospital not a bleeding snack-shop,' he pointed to the envelope, 'see here, it says St. Mungo's Hospital!" He jabbed at the envelope for effect. The owl merely shot back a disdainful look, surveyed the room once more and flew away. Finally Sirius had a moment to look at the letter properly. He dropped it into his lap as though it had given him a shock. As he stared at the familiar handwriting a friendly nurse bustled into the room his breakfast tray in her hands.

"Good morning, Mr Black, how are you this morning?"

"Fine thanks." He answered distractedly, still staring at the parchment, his hands pulled towards his face as though it might bite him. The nurse noticed the letter but didn't seem to think his behaviour was strange. If she did she didn't say anything merely asking "A letter from home?"

"Uh, yes." She smiled down at him. She put his tray down on a nearby table.

"Always nice to hear from home." She answered chirpily as she left the room. Sirius watched the door close behind her and went back to staring at the letter. Finally he picked it up, unfolded it and began reading.

…

Remus agonised, he'd written a thousand letters to Sirius over the years and not sent them. He had thought about not sending the last one. It was sent, now he dreaded the reply.

…

Sirius,

I think I've started a letter that started with that word a thousand times over the last sixteen months in my head, only that was before I knew and those letters were very different to this one.

I can't imagine what your life has been over the last year and a bit and every time I think of what I said to you when I met you last I am filled with a deep shame. I want to say sorry for that. I was angry. So, so angry. I think perhaps I was more angry at myself, for putting my trust in you and for not seeing the truth. Those feelings, though now redirected, have stayed.

I am so sorry that I ever thought you capable of these things. I can only imagine that the only reason that you didn't trust me with the truth of the situation was that you suspected me. I can see why that could have been, and I cannot bring myself to feel angry about it, I believed much worse of you and would have continued to indefinitely. Can you ever forgive me?

Harry's Aunt and Uncle and his cousin were killed in a Death Eater attack. He and I have a nice little house and one day, if you would like to and if you feel up to it we would be honoured if you would come for dinner.

Before then, when and if you are willing, I would like to visit you. This letter seems so impersonal and so lacking.

Yours,

Remus.

…

Sirius read and re-read the letter until the nurse came and chided him for not eating his breakfast. He bolted it down and summoned some ink, a quill and parchment.

…

o.0 what will happen? Find out soon! (Very soon if I keep writing at this rate!) Review if the mood takes you.


	23. Raising Harry Part Six

Raising Harry part 6

(The Reunion.)

Not mine, don't sue. Hope it's okay- next part will be up soon.

…

Remus had changed his tie twice before he decided not to wear one at all. He rushed through the house under the watchful eye of an amused Harry Potter. On the kitchen table lay the letter that had arrived exactly one week earlier.

_Remus,_

_We have a lot to discuss. I'd like you to come and see me when I'm out of St. Mungo's. I know how much you hate hospitals. I'll owl you when I know where I'll be when I'm not in this bloody place._

_Sirius._

_P.S Stop biting your nails, it's okay._

Remus had read and reread the letter so many times that he was surprised the words hadn't faded. He had also, contrary to Sirius' post script, been nibbling quite horrendously on his fingernails each time. He couldn't help agonising over whether Sirius was angry with him. The second owl had shown up just after breakfast the day before, informing Remus where and when to meet Sirius.

Remus and Harry were on their way to Hogwarts where Minerva agreed to look after the boy. Harry sat on the lounge, beside him was his Hippogriff 'Dudders' and a small bag filled with the things he might need during the day. He had seen Remus walk past four times in the last five minutes. At the moment he was enjoying this game- whatever it was, but he would soon grow weary of it.

"What are you looking for, Mooey?"

"My comb." Remus answered as he pulled the bookshelf away from the wall to look behind. He was at the point where all of the probable places had been ruled out.

Harry giggled and picked up Dudders whispering conspiratorially. Remus noted how much the boy was like his father.

"Harry, have you seen it?"

"No." the boy giggled.

"Really?" He stepped toward the lounge.

"I know someone who has."

"Who?"

"Dudders."

"Will he tell me where it is?" Harry dutifully held the toy up to his ear, nodding slowly.

"Yep, uh-huh. He says that he'll tell you… If I can have double chocolate sprinkles on my dessert tonight." Harry looked up at his guardian earnestly. Remus couldn't hold back the grin, he really had been a terrible influence on the boy.

"Deal." Remus smiled.

"It's in your back pocket."

Remus' hand shot to the back pocket of his trousers. There was the comb. He eyed Harry suspiciously. The little boy pointed and laughed at him. Remus smiled back.

"Come on, kiddo. Ready?"

"Yep. Are we gonna spin again?"

"Yep."

…

Sirius Black's location was a closely guarded secret so, naturally, everyone knew where he was. The bar at the Leaky Cauldron was packed with people, many just trying to catch a glimpse of the innocent man.

"Not one word I'd have ever associated with a Black." Remus heard a stranger mutter as the man looked hopefully up the stairs trying to catch a peek. Remus waved to Tom.

"All right, Remus?"

"Fine thanks, Tom. Is he in? I think he's expecting me."

"That he is, Mr. Lupin. Greg here will show you up." A lanky youth appeared at Remus' side. The boy led Remus past the crowds and up the stairs. He stopped outside the door at the end of the hall.

"Thanks, Greg."

"No problem." The boy answered in a monotone.

Remus watched the boy slouch back down the hallway, his feet shuffling on the worn boards. When Greg had disappeared back into the throng, Remus turned his attention to the door before him. It was worn, the paint had cracked and peeled long ago giving way to the cool grey of the wood grain. A brass number 8 hung at Remus' eye level. He considered not knocking until he had learned the door, memorising every grain, every bump. He shook his head and took a deep breath. As he raised a hand to the handle the door swung gently open revealing a sunlit room. A large four-poster bed sat in the corner, a small table beside the window. In one of the two seats sat Sirius, his face inscrutable. Remus froze. Sirius stood and stared at his old friend. Silently they stepped forward. Remus feared that his heart would come hammering out of his chest. Finally Sirius' face split into a grin and he held his arms wide, closing the space between them and embracing Remus like a brother. Remus folded his arms around his friend unable to ignore how thin he had become. The familiar smell of Sirius invaded his brain, it was dog and cigarettes and a strange hot smell that was unique to Sirius. Mixed in was the unfamiliar- a musty smell that Remus found as a slick metallic tang in his mouth.

The smell of the last 16 months.

The taste of Azkaban.

"I thought you'd never open the bloody door. Come and have some tea." Sirius' voice was thinner than Remus remembered from Hogwarts, yet stronger than when they had last met. Sirius eventually pulled away from the hug and ushered Remus into the chair he had been sitting in moments ago. Remus felt the warmth his friend had left behind and the reality of the situation really started to hit home. Sirius began pouring the tea. Remus' eyes stung so he turned his attention to the window to his left. He was searching for something to say, some way to make it all better. He instead took to watching the movement on the street below. Diagon Alley was packed, the gentle ebb and flow of shoppers, of families and lovers, of old friends meeting. Remus turned his attention back to Sirius. His thin hands almost as pale as Remus' own. His fingernails were dirty and Remus couldn't look away from them. When Sirius saw what Remus was looking at he pulled his hands away, folding them on his lap, out of Remus' view.

"Can't seem to get them clean, y'know?' Sirius explained, an embarrassed flush rising in his cheeks. He cleared his throat and continued, 'You and Harry settling in well?"

"Yes. He's doing a lot better."

"Better?"

"Well, let's just say that Vernon seemed to have a heavy-handed idea of parenthood."

"Oh."

"Indeed, 'oh'. If they hadn't killed him, perhaps I would have."

"The death eaters?"

"They tortured him first, to find Harry."

Sirius nodded as he thought it over in his head eventually he spoke.

"Vernon wouldn't tell them where Harry was? Where were Petunia and their boy?"

"Murdered already."

"And yet, he wouldn't speak." Sirius mused quietly.

"No… He died, protecting the boy." Remus looked shocked that he hadn't thought of it sooner. Sirius watched him, eventually smiling.

"I thought I was supposed to be the impulsive one… Though, perhaps, I learned my lesson." Sirius sipped his tea.

A floorboard in the hallway creaked. The cleaning lady in the hall knocked over a bucket, the clanging very loud after men's hushed conversation. Sirius jumped, his tea cup spilling hot tea in his lap, the cup shattering on the floor. The remaining tea seeped into the floorboards. Sirius had folded up on the floor, his knees pulled in tight to his chest, his shaking hands clutching his hair, his breathing fast and shallow.

"Sirius, are you alright?"

"I'm sorry, Remus. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He whispered over and over. Remus reached out and helped Sirius to his feet, at first the man flinched before he rose awkwardly still shaking and apologising. Remus led him to the bed, he pushed Sirius down, and started removing his boots. Sirius was now silent, his eyes filled with tears. Remus threw the boots on the floor, the loud thud causing Sirius to jump again.

"I'm such a mess." Sirius had started to cry. Remus sat beside his friend, his hand resting in what he hoped was a reassuring manner on Sirius' chest. His thin fingers splayed out over Sirius' rapidly beating heart. There was a bottle of sleeping draught on the bedside table, he leaned to retrieve it with his free hand, lightening the weight of the other. A wild-eyed Sirius clutched at the hand, pulling it tighter onto his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere." Remus looked from Sirius to the potion and back again. Instead of trying to reach it again, he lay down beside his friend, his hand still on Sirius' chest, the other man's hand still clutching it as though his life depended on it.

"I'm not going anywhere. Close your eyes. Try to sleep." He rested his head on the pillow as Sirius shut his eyes. Gently Remus pushed a strand of hair out of Sirius' face, the other man opened his eyes again and regarded Remus.

"This is familiar, but different." He smiled sadly before he shut his eyes, adjusting his hold on Remus' hand but not letting go. Soon his breathing had slowed and he was asleep. Remus thought of all the mornings after the full moon when a scene much like this had played out. His thoughts soon wandered to what he had always thought then, he thought about how long he had been in love with the man beside him. He thought about how he had never said anything and maybe never would, but he couldn't help but be thankful that the man was there at all.

"We're both messes.' Remus told his sleeping friend, 'But at least we're together again."

…

To Be Continued…

So, I figured that Sirius would have a pretty epic case of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Review?


	24. Raising Harry Part Seven

Not mine, Don't sue…

Sorry, this took me a little longer than I thought it would. Enjoy!

Raising Harry part Seven.

…

Remus sat beside the bed regarding Sirius with conflicting emotions. His green eyes ranged over his friends sleeping features. Each and every new line, however faint, was a nightmare, a fear or a regret made visible. It made Remus remember all of his own from the past year and a half. The isolation, the pain and the hunger seemed to eat at his chest until he felt hollow. Yet, beneath it all, he could still see the face of the boy he had fallen hopelessly in love with all those years ago. A part of Remus' heart whispered sweet rememberings of summer days and winter strolls and laughter and pranks and even tears and catastrophes. The sun seemed to shine in his chest, banishing the cold emptiness and filling Remus to the brim with light. He wondered if he'd ever be able to tell anyone how he felt. Sirius started to stir in his sleep, soon he was mumbling and whimpering. He started to plead "Please, no…. not him, no. Can't lose him, Please. Please…" His features twisted in despair and he started to move as though he were running.

"Sirius?" Remus reached out a hand and put it on his friend's shoulder. Sirius stirred still.

"Sirius!" Remus repeated. Sirius' eyes sprang open and he sat bolt upright, his forehead colliding with Remus' nose with a crack. Remus crumpled onto the floor, one hand over his now bleeding and broken nose, the other still reaching out to Sirius.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, still half asleep. Remus' heart skipped a beat, it seemed a lifetime since he had heard that name. Tears stung at his eyes, but it probably had more to do with his broken nose.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, Remus." Sirius kneeled beside his friend, gingerly moving Remus' hands away to survey the damage. He twisted his upper lip and exposed his teeth in a painful expression.

"Uh, I don't think you need to be Poppy Pomfrey to know that your nose is broken." Sirius instinctively reached for his wand, but there was none there. They had snapped it in two when he had gone into Azkaban. Remus passed his wand to Sirius wordlessly, giving him a look that said 'Don't screw this up.' Sirius nodded and took a deep breath. He pointed the wand at Remus and murmured 'Episkey'.

Crack.

Remus tentatively prodded at the bridge of his nose with an uncertain index finger. His nose was tender, but no longer broken. He reached out his hand and Sirius pulled him to his feet.

"Thanks, mate." He smiled as he wiped the trail of blood from his face with his hanky.

"Scourgify." Sirius murmured and Remus' face and hand were clean. Remus smiled and Sirius smiled back. They seemed frozen like this until Sirius awkwardly held Remus' wand out to him. Remus took it.

"I think, perhaps, it's about time we went and got you a wand of your own."

"Oh, I don't think that is a good idea… The people, there's so many of them and they'll all look at me…" Sirius cast a fearful glance at the window.

"Oh, I don't think so…"

…

Fifteen minutes later a tall, broad-shouldered man led a curvaceous brunette through diagon alley. The woman clung onto the man's arm. Just past Florian Fortescue's he stopped and laced his fingers through hers.

"I'm here, okay? That's the difference. You're not alone anymore." He whispered to her. She nodded and her resolve seemed to strengthen. They continued along the road until they reached Ollivander's. The bell above the door rang as they entered and stood waiting in the dusty shop.

"Mister Lupin what a pleasant surprise. Mister Black, I had wondered when you would require a replacement wand." A voice reverberated around the room. Sirius and Remus glanced at one another and saw that their disguises were still in place. Remus frowned and Sirius shrugged. The old wand maker walked out from between the shelves to their right. He moved to the door, locked it and turned the sign to 'closed.'

"If you wouldn't mind, Mr. Lupin, the magic of your spell may interfere with the process." Remus pulled his wand from his pocket.

"Finite incantatum."

He was glad to see Sirius' features again.

"Alright, Mister Black, let's try this one…" The old man placed a wand in Sirius' hand. He swished his hand gently, to his left Remus' hair turned orange. Remus glared at Sirius.

"Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. I was hoping to give you a bloody haircut. "

"Well, it's close… The core and the wood seem right … So similar to the one I sold you all those years ago, and yet… I wonder." The wand maker talked more to himself than to the other two men in the room. He disappeared into the stacks again muttering to himself as he went. Finally he reappeared and held a wand out with a flourish. Sirius took a hold of it and felt more alive than he had in a very long time. He swished the wand and Remus' hair returned to its normal colour, tidying itself into a neat short-back-and-sides.

"Oak, fifteen inches, banshee hair… So similar to your old wand, Mister Black… But more like yourself, I think. It's much more flexible… This wand will bend, but never break." The wand maker's eyes sparkled as he regarded Sirius Black.

…

Remus and Sirius returned to the Leaky Cauldron in disguise. Sirius seemed elated, and Remus was glad to see him so happy. He thanked his friend for the haircut, embraced him again and left to pick up Harry.

…

Harry was a bundle of energy and it had taken Remus ages to convince the boy to came and sit at the table and eat his dinner. He munched happily, swinging his legs under the table. Remus moved his knees lest they become part of the game.

"Where did you go today, Mooey?" Harry asked through a mouthful of mashed potato.

"I went to see someone."

"Who?"

"Do you remember when I told you that Padfoot had gone away."

"Yes."

"Well, Padfoot has come back. He is still a little sad from where he's been, but one day, when he feels better I thought we might ask him around for tea."

"Padfoot's back?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"Does this mean Mummy and Daddy will come back too?" All of the air seemed to rush out of the room and Remus' blood ran cold. He stood from his seat and picked Harry up, he walked to the lounge and sat with Harry in his lap. He pushed the hair from the boy's face.

"Oh, Harry, if only it were that simple. Your Mummy and Daddy can't come back. If they could, nothing would stop them from being here with you. Nothing… Padfoot was in a bad place, they thought he had done something terrible, but he hadn't and now he's back."

"He was in a bad place?"

"A terrible place."

"Are Mummy and Daddy in a bad place?" Harry's face was streaked with tears and his little shoulders shook, but he looked at Remus intently, trying to understand.

"No, Harry. Your Mummy and Daddy are in heaven. And I bet they're up there now, looking down on you and thinking how wonderful you are. I bet they miss you as much as you miss them."

Harry threw his arms around Remus' neck and started sobbing into Remus' shoulder.

"I miss them, Mooey. Sometimes I think I see them when I sleep. Then there is green and I wake up and you are there with a glass of water and a hug. I love you, Mooey."

"I love you too, Harry."

…

So, how was it? What will happen next? How is Harry so damn cute? Find out in the next instalment, to be posted as soon as I write the bloody thing! :P


	25. Raising Harry Part Eight

Turns out I'm on a roll… Hope it's enjoyable.

Not mine, don't sue.

…

Raising Harry Part Eight.

…

_Dear Remus, _

_I'm feeling a lot better since your visit. Even if it has only been a few minutes since you left. It means a lot knowing that you are here, that I'm not alone. Merlin, I sound like a bloody girl. And a little like my old self, too, judging by that last sentence. I know how busy you are with little Harry but if you can get here again sometime soon, I would like that very much. I'm not sure I'm up for seeing Harry yet, though. You bring back so many things, feelings and memories I thought I had lost forever. And that's great, but I fear that seeing Harry in the flesh would perhaps knock me for six, and I don't want to frighten the midget. _

_I just remembered that Lily hated it when I called him that. I'll probably keep doing it now._

_Until next time,_

_Your friend,_

_Sirius._

_P.S- While I'm not ready for the midget, a photograph of you two would be great. It'll remind me, when the night seems to close in, that I'm not alone._

…

_Dear Sirius,_

_I hope you are still feeling as happy as you were the last time I saw you. As you requested I have enclosed a photograph, or twelve, for you. Harry has also been drawing some pictures for you. Just a few. I hope they make you happy. I'll see you soon, I hope._

_Your friend, _

_Remus._

_P.S- Make sure you give the owl a treat, I think it was nearly reduced to tears when it saw the size of the package we had to send._

_P.P.S- Don't use your knowledge of permanent sticking charms to decorate your room. I think Tom would be less than impressed._

Sirius sat cross-legged on his bed, the multitude of paper spread all around him, he started to look through the pile. There were brightly coloured cirles he took to be faces on one page, some things he assumed were flowers on another, the third was a square with two spikes protruding from it _'A Hippogriff'_ Remus' neat handwriting explained. Sirius smiled. In the top right hand corner of each picture were two circles that seemed to be faces. Sirius made a mental note to ask Remus what they were when they next met. He sifted through a few more of the pictures, smiling at each and putting them in a neat pile until he came to the photographs. The first was Harry and a Hippogriff toy. The boy was laughing and waving. He looked just like James, only his eyes were Lily's. Sirius stared at it for a long time, trying to relearn the boy's features. How had he gotten so big? Eventually he placed it aside and looked at the others. The next was Harry drawing the picture marked 'Hippogriff', the little boys tongue was poking out of the side of his mouth as he looked from the page to the hippogriff, concentrating on the right shape, Remus must have said something off camera because the boy looked up and said something. The next few were Harry doing normal, everyday things. Eating his breakfast, having a story read to him before bedtime, even one of the boy asleep. Sirius smiled. The last few were taken outside, Remus and Harry were playing in the first few, running around the garden playing tag. Remus flying Harry as though he were an aeroplane, the boy's arms spread wide, a grin on his face. A game of hide and seek, a giggling Harry, his legs poking out from beneath a bush, his laughing face visible as Remus pretended that he couldn't find the boy. The last few were of Remus and Harry gardening.

The final one was Remus and Harry standing in front of the camera, Harry on Remus' hip. Harry was talking to Remus, they were both waving. Harry whispered and Remus nodded and the boy began blowing kisses to the camera. Sirius' face was streaked with tears, but for the first time in a long time they were born from joy.

With a shaking hand Sirius sorted out the photographs, organising them in chronological order, so he could look at them as though he were watching a full day.

…

_Dear Remus,_

_Thank you so much for the fantastic photographs. Every time I look at them I feel a little more real. In Azkaban, well, it's easy to get confused, you sometimes wonder if you ever really existed outside of that place at all… You think perhaps you're in hell or something. But when I feel that niggling doubt, that creeping fear, I look at the pictures and I can imagine that I am there with you and Harry. Living._

_It's been an interesting week, I even managed to venture out into Diagon Alley yesterday. I didn't disguise myself, and at first I almost ran back inside, all of the eyes on me, the vastness of the world, it seemed to scream at me. But I had a secret weapon, I had a picture of you and Harry in my pocket. Instead of flying back into my room, I took it out saw the people I love and was able to keep going. Florian Fortescue was kind enough to give me a free ice cream. I had forgotten that anything so delicious could exist. I am relearning every day that the world is a wonderful thing… But my nights are still a struggle. Poppy gave me a dreamless sleep potion, but I don't want to use it. I want to be strong enough to get by without it._

_I'm really starting to believe that I can._

_Your friend,_

_Sirius._

…

_Dear Harry,_

_Thank you for your lovely pictures. They are wonderful and they have made my room very colourful. I miss you very much, and I'm not sure how well you remember me, but someday soon, I would like very much to see you again. Perhaps you could show me how to draw a hippogriff?_

_Lots of love and sloppy, girly kisses,_

_Padfoot._

...

_Dear Padfoot,_

The page was covered in a myriad of colourful swirls and wiggly lines, Remus had translated beneath them all.

_I would like to give you a drawing lesson. It would be fun. Chocolate is yummy, maybe we could have some of that when you visit. Moony has tonnes of it._

_Harry._

…

_Dear Sirius,_

_I was wondering if you were up for a little outing, it's the full moon on the weekend. If you don't feel up to it I understand._

_Remus._

…

_Remus,_

_I'm so glad that you allowed me to accompany you this full moon. I needed to remember what that level of freedom felt like! To remember what it's like to chase the stars and to howl at the moon. Some of my nightmares have given way to dreams. Real dreams. Strange, twisted colours and daft events and it's wonderful. Thank you._

_Sirius._

_P.S- I even ventured out into Muggle London yesterday. I walked around for hours, I saw a million people and a million things. I only needed to look at the picture of you and the midget once, when a lady in front of me at a café started an argument with the cashier. Turns out I'm still having trouble dealing with loud noises. I bought Harry a present. I think that if you are okay with it, I'm ready to come and see you and Harry. _

Remus sat back in his chair. He ran his thin, pale fingers over the page in front of him. Sirius seemed to be returning. His Sirius. Along with him came the feelings. The quiet, reassuring, yet entirely inconvenient, buzz at the back of his head whenever he thought of his friend, the flutter his heart gave whenever an owl came with the latest letter.

Remus too, had been having dreams. Wonderful dreams, the kind of dreams that reminded him that he was still a young man.

…

_Sirius,_

_We'd love to have you around for afternoon tea, and dinner if you're up to it, this Thursday. _

_Remus and Harry._

…

…

So, how will Sirius fare after this much time has passed? Will he draw a sufficiently awesome hippogriff under Harry's tutelage? Will they all get sore tummies from too much chocolate? Was the passage of time illustrated by all of this letter writing? Find out in the next thrilling instalment!


	26. Raising Harry Part Nine

Raising Harry Part Nine.

Sirius stood by his bed and stared, unblinking at the door. Then he sat on the chair beside the window. He squashed down in the chair before he exploded out of it with a sigh. He moved over to the fireplace and leaned one elbow on the chimneypiece, his head in his hand, he leant away from the fireplace at an odd angle, his legs crossed at the ankles. He shook his head to move the strands of hair out of his face and gazed expectantly at the door once again. He let out a frustrated noise and took a few short steps forward finally throwing himself onto the bed. It made a whumping noise and slowly began sagging. Sirius lay face down as it continued its descent. At last he decided to move again, but found that it was a bit of a struggle now that he was essentially in a big, quilted crater. He kicked his legs out, trying to get the leverage to get to the edge of the bed. After many minutes of flailing and kicking and curse words, he found himself flat on his back, his head hanging off the edge of the bed, watching the door open and seeing Remus Lupin regard him with an amused air. The werewolf put a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow.

"You've spent at least the last hour fidgeting, haven't you?" He smiled.

"No, I spent the last fifteen minutes being devoured by this bloody bed… I spent the forty-five minutes _before_ that fidgeting."

Remus shook his head, Sirius blinked as his face grew redder.

"Now are you going to help me up, or are you just going to wait for all the blood to rush to my head and let me pass out, presumably so that you can have your wicked way with me?" Sirius folded his arms across his chest and managed, as only he could, to look even more ridiculous. Remus smiled and stepped forward to help Sirius up.

"I'm not sure, from my experience so far, when you are getting out of that bed and I'm around, it ends painfully… for me." His hand grasped Sirius' and he used his body weight as leverage to drag his friend from the bed.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to wake someone up who's having a nightmare?" Sirius asked as he was a decidedly undignified lump on the floor.

"That's sleepwalkers, Pads." The laughter in Remus' voice stopped suddenly. The men shared a quick look.

"You called me Pads!" Sirius rose to his feet.

"I did, it just seemed like the kind of conversation we'd always had…"

"I'm glad you did, Moony." The men smiled and shared a long look. Eventually Remus broke the silence.

"Come on, then. Harry's waiting for us." Sirius beamed and grabbed the package from his bedside table, as he did so he went to retrieve a picture of Remus and Harry. He turned look at Remus, smiled and straightened his back, leaving it there.

"I don't think I'll need it when I've got the real thing." He strode out of the room.

…

The house was small and looked as though it had been shambling across the world, gotten a cramp, stopped for a rest and never moved again. It had a resigned lean to it and yet Sirius couldn't help but love it instantly. He stood and admired it for a second before he followed Remus to the front porch. Remus pushed the front door open and gestured for Sirius to enter.

"Mooey!" Harry shot from his place near the small coffee table in the sitting room, he collided with Remus' knees with a soft thud. In reply Remus made a small wheeze. If Harry were any taller that would have hurt. A lot. The messy haired boy turned his eyes to the gently smiling man beside Remus.

"Padfoot?" he asked uncertainly. He pulled Sirius by the hand until he was on his knees in front of the boy. Harry put his small, chubby hands on the sides of Sirius' head and earnestly studied the face. Sirius' eyes flickered uncertainly towards Remus before he looked back at Harry. The boy turned his face gently this way and that, staring with the same intensity as he did so. His tiny eyebrows knitted together and a pink tongue poked out from between his lips thoughtfully. Through it all Remus and Sirius stayed still. Finally Harry's face split into a wide grin.

"It _is_ you!" He squealed before he threw himself at Sirius, his arms wrapping tightly around Sirius' neck. Sirius stood awkwardly with Harry still wrapped around his neck. Remus retrieved the brightly wrapped package from the floor as Minerva entered the room.

"Mmm Pfdds hrm!" Harry muttered into Sirius' shoulder as Minerva came closer.

"Pardon?" The professor asked patiently.

"Minnie, Padfoot's here!"

"Indeed he is, Harry. How are you Sirius?"

"Very well thanks, _Minnie_." Sirius smiled at the name he had called the older woman, much to her dismay, in a time that seemed so long ago.

"It's better than what he used to call her." Remus murmured into Sirius' ear so that Harry wouldn't think they were making fun of him.

Sirius shot him an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Nervy." Remus smirked into Sirius' ear and the longer haired man tried not to laugh too loud. Especially when he saw the look on Minerva's face.

"Harry has had his nap and was preparing his pencils and paper in the kitchen to teach Sirius his art lesson."

"Thank you very much, Minerva."

"Thanks, Minnie!" Harry blew her a kiss. Minerva smiled.

"How come he gets away with it?" Sirius cast an inauthentic look of dislike at Harry who laughed again.

"Because he's cute. Welcome back Sirius." With that she was gone.

…

Harry had set up in the kitchen and was showing Sirius how to draw a Hippogriff, he sat on the table beside Sirius' paper, a serious look on his face and Sirius wondered when Remus would be needing that particular expression back. With this happy discovery came a bitter sting as Sirius wondered if the small boy would end up less like his parents and more like Remus. It wouldn't be a bad thing, but Harry was all that was left of them.

"Now, draw a circle." Harry bossed.

Sirius dutifully drew a circle.

"No, a _circle_." Harry sighed. Behind him Remus stifled a giggle.

"I did draw a circle." Sirius defended.

"Not a circle like that! It's alright, sometimes mistakes happen. Try again." His small hands removed the top piece of paper and straightened the one underneath. He nodded encouragingly to Sirius who took great care drawing a bigger, even more circular circle. He looked up at harry who shook his head.

"What?"

"A _circle_. Like this."

Harry took another sheet of paper and drew a wonky rectangle.

"See, a circle."

"You mean a rectangle."

"Yeah, a circle." Perhaps Harry was a lot like James after all. Remus coughed to cover his laughter.

Sirius sighed, smiled large and drew a rectangle. With that little hiccough out of the way he had soon drawn his own version of Harry's Hippogriff.

"Done."

"Oh no, not yet." Harry took the paper and drew two faces in the upper right-hand corner of the picture.

"What's that?"

"It's Mummy and Daddy looking down from heaven." Harry spoke the words as though it was all perfectly obvious. Sirius' mind flashed and he saw Lily and James again, as he had the last time...

Suddenly Sirius was in Godrick's Hollow, his brother at his feet dead and gone because he had trusted the wrong man, another brother. To his left lie Lily, her hair brighter than he had ever seen it, grotesquely vibrant beside her pale, pallid, dead skin. Her eyes wide, her mouth twisted in a half-spoken word. Sirius wondered if it had been Harry or James she had called for then.

In the kitchen Harry had pushed himself away from Sirius who had gone as stiff as a board and began a strange, thin screaming. Remus scooped the boy up before he fell off the other side of the table.

"What's wrong with Padfoot? Did I make him angry?" Harry asked, clamping his hands over his ears.

"He's having a kind of nightmare I think, Harry. You go wait in the sitting room, it will be okay." Harry did as he was told and Remus hurried to Sirius, trying to calm him down. He was no longer screaming, but he had begun a frantic, quiet muttering. His eyes flickered from side to side. Remus was unsure what to do, or if he should do anything at all. He settled on placing both hands gently, but firmly on Sirius' shoulders.

"I'm here."

Sirius seemed to remember where he was.

"Merlin, I'm sorry Remus. I don't know what… Is Harry okay? He's probably terrified of me… I screamed didn't I? He'll never want to come near me again…"

Sirius was interrupted by harry shoving a glass of juice in Sirius' hands. Some of the pulpy liquid spilled onto the kitchen floor.

"Sometimes I have nightmares. There is screaming and green and then Mooey comes with a drink and a hug. It makes me feel better. Here's your drink. When you're done hug Mooey. He has magic hugs." Harry smiled. Sirius blinked and smiled back. He drank the drink as instructed and hugged Remus under the watchful eye of Harry. The evening continued without incident, there was a pleasant dinner, a quick game of I-spy using colours instead of letters and nobody talked about what had happened in the kitchen until Harry was going to bed for the night. He had insisted on two stories, one read by Remus and the other by Sirius. As he was receiving his goodnight kisses, Sirius' lips brushed the scar on his forehead and Harry asked something he had been wondering for a while.

"Padfoot, when I have nightmares there is green. What colour is your nightmares?"

Sirius stood up straight and Remus was half way through telling Harry that maybe padfoot didn't want to or couldn't answer his question when Sirius answered.

"Red. I see red. How come you can ask me that, and I can answer but I can't if anyone else asks?" Sirius smiled a small smile.

Harry screwed his nose up in thought.

"It's probably because I'm cute." He answered, smiling as he parroted Minerva.


	27. Raising Harry Part Ten

Raising Harry part Ten.

You are Invited to the Third Birthday Party of Harry James Potter!

July 31st, 1983. If you are able to attend I (Remus) shall call on the 30th to tell you where you can find your nearest portkey. (We can never be too careful.)

RSVP by owl by 29th July.

We'd be delighted if you could make it.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

…

Sirius had thrown himself at the task of organising the party. He was energised by the most simple, everyday tasks. Since his first visit with Harry and Remus he had visited many times, he had even stayed overnight in the guest bedroom once, after his sessions with a mediwitch at St. Mungo's had progressed well. He had spent hours trying to enchant the folded napkins to move like the swans they were. He had gotten the basic spell right quite quickly, but now he had to deal with the problem of the bloody things flying away and landing in the nearest pond where they crumpled and broke apart like the paper they were. He couldn't simply stun them, for then they couldn't move at all and there was no point in enchanting them in the first place. He sat with his teeth clenched and his eyes narrowed in a ridiculous hatred, the paper in his hands did absolutely nothing. Somehow it seemed like the most insulting thing it could have possibly done in response.

"Told you to use fabric ones."

"Merlin, Moons, you sound like my bloody mother," he pulled his face into a stiff jawed grimace and put on a voice, "We are not animals, you know. Only animals use paper napkins… Animals and half-breeds, but then again they are the same thing, aren't they?" He then broke into a perfect impersonation of her high, chill laugh before he spat the laugh and the words out at the grass near his foot.

Remus merely smiled quietly.

"What?"

"Healer McGillicuddy said that you were getting in touch with your anger, and that it was a good thing, a sign of real progress… I told her that it was a bad sign for anyone who liked their eyebrows unsinged."

Sirius smiled back. Harry watched them from beneath the table. To him they were just two sets of legs that disappeared into the sky. He lay down and listened to the insects in the grass click and scratch. He compared Remus' brown corduroy trousers and Sirius' black denim jeans and sighed contentedly. He closed his eyes and fell asleep beneath the table. He didn't wake when Sirius swore loudly at yet another waterlogged napkin. He didn't stir when Sirius let out an even louder 'Eureka' when he finally sorted out the problem. The thuds and bumps of the plates laden with food spread out on the table above didn't disturb his slow, even breath.

It wasn't until Remus left to get the first set of guests from the portkey destination that Sirius finally bent and looked beneath the table. He reached out and hand and shook the boy gently.

"Harry, Harry sweetie, it's time for you to wake up... Midget!" Harry moved slowly, his face crinkling and his lips squashed together as he arched his back and stretched his hands above his head. The last thing he did was open his eyes. His right eye popped open first and swivelled about a bit as though it was checking if the coast was clear before the other one opened too.

"Is the party here?" He asked finally as he rubbed his eyes with vigour.

"Almost. Come on, we'll get dressed." Harry took Sirius' hand and followed him into the house.

Harry selected a pair of bright yellow and black tartan shorts and a white button up shirt. He squirmed as Sirius mussed his hair.

"Ready, Kiddo?"

…

All in all Sirius supposed that the party was a roaring success. It had been underway for around two hours. Remus was trying not to stare daggers at an unsuspecting Kingsley Shacklebolt who had taken the last chocolate brownie. Minerva was looking festive in a tartan top hat that Harry had insisted that she wear. Albus Dumbledore was wearing a brightly coloured paper hat and was laughing at Mad Eye Moody pretending that he couldn't see through the blindfold to pin the tail on the donkey. A group of napkins kept traipsing over the green grass of the back yard, always in a tight waddle and chased by children. They were all still pristine, as anytime anyone had tried to use one of them it would flap and honk and make a nuisance of itself. There were quite a few grubby faces at the table until Remus retrieved the fabric napkins. Harry was laughing loudly playing with all of the Weasleys, the bright-haired group were an instant party, their happy parents watching on… Well, maybe not all of the Weasleys.

Harry was playing with all of the Weasleys except for the young, bespectacled child called Percy who had cornered Sirius twenty minutes ago and just kept droning on and on and _on_ about some imagined war between gnomes and rodents or something. Sirius was sitting cross-legged on the grass _hmm_ing and _ahhh_ing and making generally vague and agreeable noises. He suddenly realised that the kid was shoving something under his nose, he took it. It was a photograph of Percy with a fat rat asleep on his shoulder. Sirius glanced at it as the boy in the photo waved lazily. The rat shifted slightly to reveal that he was missing a toe on his right front paw. Sirius' eyes snapped open. He clutched the paper and stared intently at it, the boy beside him kept talking. Sirius' eyes searched the rat's markings and sought out the missing toe once again.

_It can't be_.

The oxygen seemed to be sucked from the room. Sirius thought he couldn't breathe and there was a deafening roar in his ears, drowning out the boy beside him. His eyes trained on the photo before him. It was as though there was nothing else…

"Remus." It came out a whisper. It was so quiet that Sirius himself wasn't sure if he had said it out loud or not. The boy beside him continued to natter happily at him and the scene of this fantastic day suddenly had a sickening unreality to it.

"Remus." He said it louder this time, Percy heard him at least.

"Remus!" Everyone heard him and everything stopped dead. Remus dropped his cup of tea onto the grass and ran across the yard but he didn't reach Sirius before the animagus emitted another "REMUS!"

"I'm here', Remus put a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder and said what had become a mantra, 'what is it?"

Sirius hadn't looked up from the picture. He couldn't quite bring himself to say the words and yet he couldn't bring himself to hold the picture out either. His hand shook but wouldn't extend.

"Sirius?" Remus leaned in closer, so close that any other time Sirius would have felt his pulse race and would have relished the delicious warmth. He couldn't right now, instead he croaked out "It's him."

"What? Did you say 'it's him'? Who are you talking about?"

"It's him, Remus… I never thought I'd find him, I thought I might look, years from now when Harry was grown, but here he is. Right here… _ And I'm petrified!_" Finally Sirius held the picture out to a very confused Remus. The werewolf took it, still kneeling in front of Sirius on the grass. Sirius watched his features go from confused to a little uncertain. Finally Remus' face contorted into a look equal parts hatred and rage. His slight frame shook, a red sheen of anger painted his features and a shaking fist scrunched the picture into a ball. Finally his golden eyes snapped up and met Sirius'.

"I'm here." He said. Sirius thought it sounded like a threat, but one not directed at him…

…

Well? I thought it was alright- especially the napkins. You can thank my shiny new ducklings for that little detail! So, repeat after me "Thanks Fluffy, Flower and Rosencrantz!" :P


	28. Raising Harry Part Eleven

A.N- sorry, I've been an awful and neglectful author- for this I apologise… with the next chapter. Hope you like it!

Not mine don't sue.

…

Raising Harry Part Eleven

The house was blissfully quiet- well, as quiet as it was going to get, anyway. The ghoul in the attic was scraping and dragging chains, moaning loudly and enthusiastically. The bumps and thumps reverberating through the floor and making his ears twitch. The gnomes were swearing their way around the garden, their gruff, coarse voices drifting through the window, riding on the scent of jasmine. Errol was in the landing snoring loudly, moulting quietly.

Scabbers squashed himself further into the foot of the bed, ruminating in the thick, warm blanket enveloping him and trying desperately to ignore the smell of feet that tugged insistently on his nostrils. He exhaled long and contentedly. He wished that that scraping would quieten, he wanted to take the opportunity to sleep while no children were around… It would break up the monotony of sleeping while they were there. The scraping seemed to get more frantic… He wondered how one made a ghoul quiet down when he realised the noise was his heart hammering away in his chest. He was wondering why he was panicking when there are no cats around. _None for miles_ he thought as he tried to sleep. He yawned and squashed himself a little further into the softness around him.

The quilt above his was wrenched back. The sun shone into his eyes, he screwed them shut, waiting for the infernal child to pick him up and squeeze him too hard, then chatter away when he squeaked as though they were having a conversation.

When it didn't happen, he was quite shocked. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that the room was empty. His heart beat even faster, now it was merely a flutter in his chest. He sniffed the air. There was the smell of roast lamb coming from the kitchen. Perhaps he had slept, perhaps they had come and gone. He leapt off the bed and scuttled down the stairs. He stopped on the first floor landing and sniffed again. It was definitely lamb, lamb and something else, something familiar. He hesitated, unsure of what to do. He was so hungry but he was also cautious, it was in his nature. The smell of the food beckoned him on and finally his stomach growled insistently, his legs obeyed.

The kitchen was its usual shambles, the plates and pots and pans spotless but spread throughout the room. On the table was the lamb. It was dark and glossy on the outside. Someone had begun carving it, inside it was the perfect shade of brown that became a pale pink in the centre. His stomach screamed insistently and he ran towards the table forgetting the phantom scent.

Forgetting it until he heard a voice to his right.

"Homorphus."

As the spell hit him he felt himself transform into his human body, he stood, naked, in the kitchen and turned to see who had cast the spell, his eyes wide and searching. Before he could turn there were quiet footfalls and a voice behind him.

"Immobilus."

He hit the floor in a paralysed heap finally catching sight of Remus Lupin. The werewolf was on his haunches, his wand aimed at Peter's heart, his face a storm of anger. He stood and walked slowly towards Peter.

"Looks like we caught us a filthy rat." He was talking to whoever was behind Peter, but as he spoke Remus' eyes remained in contact with Peter's.

"Looks that way, doesn't it, Moony." Sirius Black came and stood beside his friend, looking down on the prone man before them. As Peter looked up at them he hoped they would kill him quickly, but if the look on Remus' face was anything to go by his death would be long and painful… _and messy_ his mind added unhelpfully.

Sirius crouched down and looked Peter in the face for a long time.

"How could you do that? I mean, to James. I could imagine you betraying Moony or myself… but James? I thought you were the only one who loved him more than me… You and Lily… Lily always loved you she was always the first there for you. Why would you betray the two people who loved you for you, the two people that were, really, too good to give you a second glance? They loved you and you killed them. And what did you get in return?" Sirius looked around the room. Peter's eyes began to water as he made an unheard plea for his life. Sirius saw it and read it properly.

"Moony, he thinks we're going to kill him." Sirius barked out a cruel laugh.

"Oh, no. We're not going to kill you, Peter,' Remus' voice was low and simple. There was no venom in it, and it made Peter shake in fright, 'We've got some friends that are very interested in you. Once the Wizangamot are through with you you're headed for Azkaban. In the dead of night when you stink of fear and sorrow, when the shadows reach out to claw at you in the dark and the guards sample your desperation you'll wish we had killed you."

More footfalls behind Peter heralded the arrival of Mad-eye Moody and his aurors. Rough hands lifted Peter to his feet and he was carried out of the kitchen. Sirius and Remus stayed behind watching their old friend and new enemy taken away.

"He's lucky, you know." Remus mused after a long time reaching for a slice of meat from the table.

"Lucky?" Sirius took a slice for himself.

"Yeah, we could have let Molly have him."

Remus smiled a small, haunted smile. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm here." Sirius whispered.

"We're here." Remus covered Sirius' hand with his own.

…

Well? Almost ready to wrap this up. I think two more chapters… stay tuned.


	29. Raising Harry Part Twelve

A.N- I feel it only fair to warn you that the word count on this chapter has gotten a little out of hand… Sorry 'bout that, I could have broken it up, but it didn't feel right.

Raising Harry Part Twelve.

…

**August 1983-**

_**WANTED MURDERER CAPTURED AND FACES TRIAL**_.

The long at-large accessory to murder and illegal animagus Peter Pettigrew (23) has been apprehended in a daring raid by the aurors office. Aided by the falsely accused Sirius Black (23) and Remus Lupin (23), former friends and schoolmates of the accused, Pettigrew was taken swiftly into custody. The betrayer of James and Lily Potter stood trial yesterday before the full council of the Wizangamot. The court heard how upon becoming the Potter's secret-keeper Pettigrew immediately informed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named of their whereabouts. The court heard that he was aware of the intentions of his master and gave them up anyway. The court also heard of the way Pettigrew blew up an entire muggle street, killing thirteen, and framed Sirius Black for his crimes, escaping to the sewer in his animagus form of a rat. What the court did not hear, however, was why he would commit such a heinous act in the first place. It took the council less than an hour to convict Pettigrew of murder and sentence him to be confined to Azkaban Prison for the term of his natural life. It is understood by this reporter that neither Mister Black nor Mister Lupin were present at the trial. Mister Lupin is now the guardian of Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived (a precocious 3) after a legal deal that stripped Mister Black of his claim to guardianship as the boy's godfather but led to his exoneration and release from Azkaban.

_Ministry Correspondent Walthier Kronkiit_.

…

The article in the Daily Prophet caused a sensation within the wizarding world but in the small warm cottage that Remus Lupin shared with his ward Harry Potter it was left unread, the paper thrown straight into the bin when Remus saw the headline. Sirius had been a little reserved since they had taken Peter away. The day the article was published Sirius came to the house for a sleepover. They had a nice day in the sun, playing with Harry in the garden, drawing again – the Lily and James in the top right corner added instinctively now (Sirius' getting more detailed as though the act helped remove at least some of his grief.) Sirius had smiled and laughed as he usually did, but the times in between he seemed deeper and deeper in thought.

Finally after dinner and the obligatory chocolate for afters they tucked Harry into bed and retired to the kitchen for a cup of tea. Sirius busied himself boiling the kettle and preparing the teapot. Remus watched him work. He couldn't help but seek out the angles of Sirius' hip, the grace in his walk and of course, the rounded curve of Sirius' buttocks. He couldn't remember when he hadn't supped greedily on the sight of the man before him, even when they had been boys he had thrilled at the slightest contact, at the rumble of a curse or the sudden bark of a laugh. He shook his head to clear these thoughts from his head – no good could come from them anyway, but he would still seek out the sight and yearn for the small sunshiny heat that came with thoughts of his oldest friend.

Sirius sat down across from him, placing the teapot and the cups on the table between them. He sighed and looked around the room, his eyes finally falling on the corner of the unread paper protruding from the bin.

"You've been quiet today." Remus commented, breaking the silence and pouring the tea.

"Have I?" Sirius asked lazily. Remus' eyes flickered towards his friend, his face showing that he had.

"I suppose I have, haven't I?" He had gone back to looking at the bin.

"What's wrong? We caught him, you and I together, and he can never endanger Harry again. You did good." He wanted to reach out a hand and squeeze Sirius'. It was mere inches away but somehow he just couldn't do it.

"I know all that. We did fantastically and I know that I should feel… lighter somehow but," His eyes now turned and met Remus' "Now I'm worried. He's caught and put away for life. What am I supposed to do with mine now? I envisioned a long, arduous pursuit around the world, years from now, but he was so close and now I have no purpose. There's no revenge left to take."

Remus stared incredulously at his friend.

"You want revenge? Live. Have a life that he couldn't dream of. Smile and laugh and love and chase your tail like a mangy mutt. If you want a purpose walk out of that door and into the second on the right. The boy sleeping there is all the purpose either of us will ever need."

"He's yours, Remus, not mine."

"We both know that isn't true." Remus wasn't sure why he was so annoyed at Sirius. The other man couldn't help how he felt.

"I'm sorry, I think I'm scared. I think I always have been. Remember when James and Lily named me Harry's godfather? I was beside myself, it was the highest honour anyone has ever given me… but in the back of my mind I worried. I'm a Black after all… What if… What if I became like them?" His eyes glistened, an unshed tear in his eye. Remus sighed, feeling like an idiot for being so brash with Sirius. He finally took hold of Sirius' hand.

"You have been a Black in name only since the moment that Sorting Hat said Gryffindor. You were the right decision… I'm sorry that I've taken him away from you, I was doing what I thought was right. But we're here, and you know you're welcome anytime."

"I'm lucky to have you Remus. I wish I didn't have to lean on you so often."

"Don't. Azkaban won't just disappear. You need time. Besides, you were always there for me. "

"Harry's lucky to have you, you know. It's been good for you too, I notice." A shy smile crossed his face before he took his hand away and began drinking his tea.

"It's gotten cold while we've been nattering away like old ladies." Sirius said as he smiled again, bigger this time. Remus' hand tingled where it had held Sirius'.

…

**September 1983-**

The only sound in the house was the ticking of the clock. Remus froze, his ears straining to hear the smallest sound, the smallest clue. He seemed to freeze forever, his heartbeat playing in his chest. He slowed his breathing and shut his eyes. He tilted his head minutely to the side. Finally he heard a muffled scraping, in a flash he was running. He flung open the door of Harry's closet. The tiny shoes were lined up where they belonged, the brightly coloured clothes hanging according to type. Remus reached out a hand, feeling for the back wall. His hands went scrabbling along the wood until he reached the corners. Nothing. _Damn_. He had been so sure! He sighed and stepped back, about to shut the door when he caught sight or the shelf above his head. His mouth turned up in one corner as the door clicked shut. He stood on the other side, arms folded. He counted backwards from eighty in his head. When he reached zero he flung the door open again. This time he was met with the sight of Sirius Black dangling from the shelf. His arms and head still on the shelf, his feet kicking in the air, seeking out the floor. His shirt had ridden up, revealing his pale back. Remus grabbed his friend with both hands and tickled himmercilessly.

"Found you!" Remus yelled as Sirius lost his grip on the shelf and came crashing down onto the floor. Remus jumped out of the way just in time and stood looking down at a mildly winded Sirius, his honey hair hanging in his eyes.

"No fair." Sirius croaked, "Nobody said anything about tickling."

"If nobody mentioned it that means it's not _not_ allowed." He grinned smugly.

"You gonna help me up, or what?" He held a hand up to Remus who gripped it and leaned back to get the leverage needed to get Sirius to his feet. Halfway through the process however Sirius pulled hard on Remus' arm pulling the werewolf off balance and sending him crashing to the floor. This time Sirius stood smugly over Remus.

"Found Harry yet?"

"No."

"I think he's probably not in the rug… Maybe if you stopped arsing about you'd find him." A cheeky tongue poked out between his front teeth. Remus rolled his eyes and grinned at Sirius in spite of himself, standing up and brushing the lint off his trousers. They walked around the house three times; Remus couldn't find hide nor hair of the boy.

"Give up?" Sirius asked s they stood in the laundry for the umpteenth time.

"Yes. Where did you hide him this time?" To his left a pile of washing shook and giggled. The top few pieces of clothing spilled onto the floor revealing a flushed and ecstatic Harry Potter.

"I won, didn't I Mooey?" The boy struggled out of the clothing.

"You certainly did." Remus smiled.

…

**October 1983-**

They had wrapped up warm for the trip, little Harry in a blue jumper. Remus had been going to put him in a red sweater when he remembered the conversation he had had with Sirius a fortnight ago.

_October 17 1983-_

Sirius had stayed again, but in the very early morning Remus heard something he hadn't for a long time. Sirius was having a nightmare in the next room. Remus lay quietly, wishing he knew what he could do to help, waiting for the whimpering to stop and listening for the sounds of sleep. Instead of soft breathing when the pained whispering stopped Remus heard the gentle tread of feet. The feet went quietly down the hallway, pausing at Remus' door for a second before they continued on to the kitchen. Remus pulled back the covers and followed.

"Another nightmare?" he had asked quietly as he sat at the table opposite Sirius, "You don't seem to have as many these days."

"I don't." Sirius agreed, "But this one is always a doozy. At least I only have it when I'm asleep now, I suppose." Sirius had poured himself a glass of water and sipped it now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked, hoping that Sirius didn't feel obligated and hoping that if they did talk about it, it might help.

"Alright." Sirius put down his glass and put his hands, palms down, on the table. "I dream about the night that James and Lily died. I was there, at the house, for maybe a minute, but when I remember it seems like I was there for hours in the grey light looking down at them, willing for it all to be some terrible prank…"

"What did you mean by it when you told Harry that your nightmares are red?" Remus dreaded the answer, certain that he knew it before Sirius could answer.

"Her hair. In the midst of all that grey, ashen wreckage her hair shone as brightly as it ever had…"

Remus had thought so. He didn't know what else to say so instead he held the hand of the man before him, peeling it off the table top and cupping it in both of his own. They sat like that for a long while, awkwardly leaning into each other in the strangely comfortable silence. The only movement was when Sirius would use his free hand to sip his water.

…

They had silently walked out of the front door and into the neighbouring paddock, walking carefully in the dusky light, Sirius carrying Harry on his hip, Remus following close behind ensuring the wards remained to protect the house.

"Ready midget?" Sirius asked in a husky voice.

"Yes, Padfoot." Harry didn't sound sure.

"What's wrong?"

"It won't be scary, will it?"

"If you get scared you let me know, and I'll hold you tight and you'll know it's okay." Sirius motioned to Remus, "Remember, Moony and Padfoot are here. Nothing will ever hurt you." Sirius finished the sentence by kissing Harry on the very end of his nose, causing the boy to giggle and rub his nose with a gloved hand.

"Ready to spin?" Remus asked at last. Harry nodded silently and held Sirius a little tighter. There was a crack and they were gone.

They apparated straight to the gates of the cemetery at Godrick's Hollow. Sirius and Remus deciding that on his first trip to his ancestral home Harry need not see the wreckage of the house he had lived in, for such a short time, with his parents. Sirius was silently glad too, he revisited the carnage in his sleep he didn't want to see it again first-hand. The cool air caught their breath, making tiny ghosts in front of them. Harry squirmed until Sirius put him down, the boy breathing deep and walking beside them on his own. He was so like his parents sometimes. Remus led the way to the twin gravestones. He stopped and waited for the others to catch up. Harry was soon beside him, Sirius a little ways back.

"Is this heaven?" Harry asked earnestly.

"No Harry, this isn't heaven. We can't go to heaven. This is a special place in the world where we can come and visit Mummy and Daddy." He answered softly, resting a gentle hand on the top of the boy's head.

"I didn't think so; I think heaven would be warmer." He looked suddenly uncertain, "What do I do?"

"You can talk to them if you like." Sirius' voice answered as he came, finally, to stand with them at the graveside.

"Can they hear me?"

"I'm sure they can." Sirius kneeled beside the boy, resting his hands on his shoulders.

"Can I hear them?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"That's not fair!"

"No, it isn't, is it? Sometimes life just isn't fair."

"I think I will try to make it fair, when I'm bigger like you."

"I think that is a lovely idea. I think Mummy and Daddy would be proud of that."

"Really?"

"I know I am." Sirius smiled.

"Me too." Remus added. Harry looked happily at both of them, then back at the stones.

"What does it say?"

Harry listened intently while Remus read out the inscription, only interrupting once.

"James Potter? Like me! Harry James Potter! I'm like Daddy!"

"You are so like your Daddy. You look just like him. Except your eyes, you have eyes just like your Mummy." Harry smiled quietly, a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"You see, they're never too far away." Remus added. Harry wasn't sure he understood what Moony meant but he did know that it made him feel better.

"I wish I had brought them something." The little boy said at last. Sirius conjured two roses and handed them to the boy.

"If you want to talk to them by yourself Padfoot and I can wait just a little way away."

"Okay." The two men moved away. Harry took the roses and placed them on the grave and talked quietly for a little while, every now and again looking over to Remus and Sirius before continuing. After a few minutes he blew kisses to the stones and walked back to Remus and Sirius, taking Remus by his outstretched hand.

"Ready?" Remus asked Harry. The boy nodded and they stepped towards the gate.

"Give us a second, okay?" Sirius asked before he strode towards the grave. He conjured a bunch of brightly coloured lilies wrapped in a red ribbon and a small paper stag. He placed them on the grave next to the roses Harry had placed there minutes ago. He stood quietly, his head bowed. Finally he said a few words and turned towards Harry and Remus, watching their breath play in front of their faces.

"Ready." He announced, running a nervous hand through his hair. His eyes flickered up to Remus' who cast him an uncertain look. Sirius smiled in response.

"Let's go home." He said.

…

**November 1983-**

"Cake is my _favourite _colour!" Harry announced proudly as he and Remus finished icing the cake they had just made. The kitchen was a mess with flour and flakes of chocolate on every flat surface. Remus carefully lifted the cake up and put it in the cake carrier. He was careful to lick all of the icing off his fingers afterwards; leaving only the index finger of his right hand untouched with it he swiped a line of icing down Harry's nose.

"Hey!" The little boy went cross-eyed surveying Remus' handiwork.

"Come on, Kiddo, let's get cleaned up. It's nearly time to go."

They got cleaned and ready quickly. Soon they were standing in the kitchen again, Remus shrinking the cake and putting it carefully in his pocket. Harry held a brightly wrapped package, the sticky tape at odd angles where he had insisted that the 'stickying' was 'his job'. Remus too held a package.

"Ready?"

"Yep! I think Padfoot will love his presents, won't he Mooey?"

"I think so."

"Especially the one I picked. I'm good at picking presents, isn't I?"

"You certainly are." Remus agreed as they headed out the front door.

…

Sirius had booked the whole restaurant out, and Harry thought it was Christmas come early.

"It's just us in the _whole_ restaurant?" He asked again. He couldn't believe that all of this space was for them. He was too young to know that Sirius had done it to ensure they remained uninterrupted, to him it was just another special, mind-blowingly wonderful thing that had happened since he had come to live with Moony.

"Yes, just us." Sirius grinned back.

"I can't believe you paid all of that money for your own birthday party… It should have been me paying for the party." Remus grumbled half-heartedly.

"It's Wally and Archie's money, Remus; I can waste it if I want to. Besides, it's being used for good instead of evil." He winked at Harry.

"Yeah, Mooey! Nots evil!" Harry stopped for a second and snapped his face back to Sirius, "Who is Wally and Andy?"

"Archie, his name was Archie. Wally and Archie were my Mum and Dad."

"Where are they?"

"They died, Harry."

"Are they in heaven with my Mummy and Daddy?"

Sirius fought the urge to tell him that no, they were now, with any luck, the devil's kindling. The battle was hard-won but eventually Sirius answered with "I don't know, Harry." He changed the subject, "What is this lump of paper doing here?" He asked pointing to the present Harry had put on the table when they had arrived.

"It's not paper, it's a present… for you."

"For me? Anyone would think it was my birthday or something." He answered with mock confusion while Remus chuckled to his right.

"It _is_ your birthday!"

"If it's my birthday, where's the cake? It can't be a birthday without cake."

"It's in Mooey's pocket."

"In his pocket? What kind of cake is it? A pocket cake?"

"No! It's a chocolate cake."

"A pocket chocolate cake." Remus added helpfully. "And birthday or not the cake is for _after_ dinner."

Harry made a mutinous look until he caught sight of the waiter.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked patiently.

"Excuse me, do you have any spaghetti?" Harry asked shyly.

"Indeed we do, Master Potter." Harry liked that very much. He smiled.

"Master Potter would like some spaghetti then." The waiter dutifully wrote the order down before turning to Remus.

"What did Master Potter forget? What's the magic word?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Can Master Potter _please_ have some spaghetti?" Harry amended. As Remus nodded his head Sirius wondered if Harry would be disappointed in later years to find that please wasn't actually a magic word. After Remus and Sirius had ordered and the waiter bustled off to the kitchen Remus nodded to Harry who pushed the present towards Sirius.

"It's time for the birthday presents. Open it!" Harry jigged up and down on his chair. Sirius took an age to open the present fending off Harry's calls for him to hurry with claims that he wanted to save the paper. Finally he held a small stuffed Hippogriff in his hands.

"Dudders and me were worried that you would get lonely. When you go to your home." Harry explained nervously as Sirius stared, unblinking at the toy.

"I love it." His face split into a grin, "What shall I name him?"

"Master Starface!" Harry called. Sirius sat back with the hippogriff in his hands.

"I think he looks like a Reggie." He smiled sadly before he glanced at the package in Remus' hand.

"Is that for me too?" He took the package when Remus handed it to him, placing Reggie carefully on the table, and unwrapped it with the same care he had Harry's present. Inside he found a leather-bound journal. He opened it to reveal Remus' neat writing on the first page.

_Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry._

_-Mark Twain._

"I know that sometimes we talk about things, but I also know that you can't necessarily tell me everything. I thought this might be good for you." His heart was beating hard, he hoped Sirius liked it and he hoped that Sirius wouldn't realise how expensive it had been, as though that knowledge would lead Sirius to know Remus' true feelings for him.

"I love it. They're both such wonderful, thoughtful gifts." He kissed Harry playfully on the cheek before he turned and did the same to Remus, turning away so that the werewolf didn't see the rising colour in his cheeks, and missing it on the other man's.

Harry laughed and insisted that the whole thing was ' 'scusting'.

…

**December 1983-**

The tree was up, the stocking hanging by the fireplace. Sirius had sung his millionth rendition of 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs' (dedicated of course, to Dudders and Reggie.). A very excited Harry had finally gone to sleep and Remus and Sirius sat in the lounge wrapping the last of the presents. Remus cast a wary eye over the sheer number of them marked 'To Harry.'

"Dear Merlin, we've spoiled the boy this year."

"He deserves it, he's a good kid." Sirius shrugged as he folded a corner piece and stuck it down.

"You don't think we're doing the wrong thing do you?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I just don't want him to think that he can fill his life with things… He knows already how easy it is to lose people; I don't want him to think of possessions as a substitute."

"Remus, it's Christmas. It's not like every time something awful happens we ply the boy with gifts. Stop worrying. He's a fantastic child, you should be proud of the great way you're raising him. Now pass me the big purple bow next to you, will you?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. Sirius sighed.

"He's not even awake. I don't see the point…" Remus' eyebrow quirked but remained near his hairline.

"_Please_?" Sirius amended.

"Was that so difficult?" Remus asked as he handed the bow over.

"Yes, it was. I'm mortally wounded." Sirius pulled on the bow but Remus wouldn't relinquish his grip on it.

"Thank you." Sirius added through gritted teeth.

"Manners cost nothing, you know." Remus admonished, smiling as he repeated the lessons his gran had taught him. Sirius shook his head. He really hated it when Remus was like this. He hated it because it was absolutely adorable and it made him love the man sitting across from him even more. He pushed the thought away like he did every other thought like it. He was happy with things as they were. No need to rock the boat.

…

Sirius was too excited to sleep properly, he woke after only a few hours' sleep and wandered quietly through the house. He stopped and looked in on Harry, the boy's hair inky against his pillow case. He slept flat on his back, his hands balled into tiny fists, resting on either side of his head. He breathed so quietly Sirius had to seek out the gentle rise and fall of his chest to assure himself that the boy was in fact breathing. He leaned down and planted a peck on the boy's cheek. As he straightened up the boy's eyes fluttered open.

"Is it Christmas?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"It certainly is."

Harry beamed.

Minutes later Remus Lupin was awoken by the weight of a boy and a shaggy dog colliding, at speed, with his torso.

"Merry Christmas, Mooey!" Harry squealed.

"Woof woof!" Padfoot added.

Remus Lupin couldn't suppress a smile, it was Christmas after all, and he was with his family.

…

**January 1984-**

Sirius sat staring at the list of New Year's resolutions he had written and now edited.

1. Quit Smoking

He only smoked when he wasn't at the cottage and lately he had been spending so much time there that he had essentially quit anyway. He thought that if he made a conscious effort it might undo the good work that he had already done.

2. Get a Job

He really didn't need one; he had enough money in Gringott's to live a hundred lives. Besides, if he had a job perhaps someone who needed one would go without. That was apart from the fact that he wasn't sure what kind of job he'd be good for. He still suffered random flashbacks to Azkaban and he could imagine the press having a field day reporting on his every move. He could see the headline now 'SIRIUS BLACK BURNED MY COFFEE.' Above a grainy picture of him in a white apron and a paper hat.

3. Tell Him How I Feel

He had imagined telling Remus that he loved him every day since he had been released from Azkaban. In his fantasies Remus had reciprocated his feelings and they had kissed and all was right with the world. He had even thought, just a few times, that perhaps Remus really did love him back; a few small looks and lingering touches had filled his heart with hope but he was a changed man. It had been an ill-advised and rash decision that had meant that he had lost Remus and Harry last time. Sirius appreciated that he could easily still be locked away and he would do nothing that might mean he would lose them again.

Sirius sat and stared at the paper before he scrawled a single sentence on the page.

_Make them as happy as they make me._

…

**February 1984-**

Remus was glad that Valentine's Day was a mere fortnight into February, It meant that he had to fight the urge to send a valentine to Sirius for only fourteen days. He would never have put his name on the thing and the idea of being a 'Secret Admirer' at his age set his teeth on edge. However, deep down he was a bloody hopeless romantic and he also knew that Sirius happened to love roses, he also knew that Sirius would deny this to his last breath. He smiled quietly to himself imagining giving the dark-haired man a giant bunch of roses and a less than chaste kiss. He went on to imagine doing other less than chaste things to Sirius and having them done right back to him.

"Remus, I hate to interrupt the daydream and I don't wish to alarm you but dinner's on fire." Sirius tapped Remus on the shoulder pulling Remus back into a rather smoky reality.

…

**March 1984-**

Remus was dutifully following the ribbon that allegedly lead to his present and wondered, not for the first time, if it was hidden in Mozambique or some other far-off country. The blue strip had already led him, followed by Sirius and Harry, across the paddock next to their house, through a fence, up a hill and across a small creek.

"I'll be eighty by the time we get there." He muttered.

"That's not the spirit, Moony." Sirius tutted. They started down the other side of the hill and Remus saw that at the bottom a picnic was set up. On the red chequered rug sat a basket and a pile of presents.

After they had settled down Harry grabbed the first present and handed it to Remus.

"Happy Birthday Remus!"

"No, not that one, Harry. That one's for last." Sirius interjected gently. Remus set it aside and opened the present Harry handed him second. He couldn't help but wonder what was in the strangely shaped package. He unwrapped a new pen set, his very own Hippogriff (swiftly christened John), and a set of spell books that he had wanted for a very long time. Finally it was time to unwrap the mystery gift.

"Be careful." Sirius warned. With infinite care Remus unfurled the paper to reveal a stoppered bottle containing a potion.

"What is it?" He asked, eyeing the contents dubiously.

"It's newly developed. It's called Wolfsbane. It's not a cure, but it means that on the full moon when you transform you'll keep your mind. They say that most of the time you'll just sleep through the night in your wolf form." Sirius smiled shyly.

Remus had no idea what to say, it was the single greatest gift he had ever received, but his mouth refused to form those words instead he placed it gently aside and embraced Sirius.

"Thank you so much." He whispered. He held on to the other man as long as he dared before he turned to Harry, bundling the boy up in his arms and showering him in little, noisy kisses.

"Ew! Gerroff me!"

…

**April 1984-**

This was it, the single most dangerous day of the year. Remus had heard Sirius and Harry up and about in the house ages ago but he dreaded joining them. He wondered if perhaps he could find some way to stay in bed until after midday. It would be safe then. April fool's Day pranks weren't committed after that blessed hour. He was delighted that Sirius was coming back into his old self more and more each day but this was more than he could take. His nerves were frazzled already just imagining everything Sirius and Harry had planned for the day. Eventually he sighed and walked to the kitchen, his eyes searching out booby traps both high and low. He eventually got to the kitchen where Sirius and Harry sat eating breakfast. He checked the seat for a whoopee cushion and sat down.

"Morning Mooey!" Harry greeted through a mouthful of bacon and eggs. Sirius had busied himself on seeing Remus enter the room; he placed a plate of food before Remus. Remus muttered a thanks and eyed it suspiciously.

"You okay, Moons? You seem a little… skittish." Sirius returned to his breakfast.

"Is it safe?"

"'Course it is."

Remus looked doubtful. Sirius chewed thoughtfully before he swapped plates.

"Happy now?"

"Thank you."

"As if I'd prank you at breakfast, anyway. It's positively uncivilised."

"So you will admit that I there is a prank planned?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement."

"Fantastic." He replied in a tone that said it was obviously less than fantastic.

The next four hours were a living hell for Remus, he jumped at the slightest noise, made sure that the sugar was sugar and the salt was salt, inspected anything for signs of superglue, checked each and every chair he sat in, cast a spell to turn his shoes inside-out before he put them on. He even checked the doors for buckets of water resting on them. By midday he was an emotional wreck. He looked at the clock and let out a maniacal laugh.

"It's too late for a prank! You took too long! I survived." He shook as the adrenaline coursed through his body.

"Really? Is that so… Maybe I've been pranking you this whole time." Sirius answered smugly. Remus had a horrible thought that perhaps the clocks had been tampered with or something and there was more of this hell to endure. He didn't have the heart to ask what Sirius meant. Sirius helpfully elaborated.

"I pranked you by _not_ pranking you. You have just spent the last few hours in terror of something that was never going to happen. I call it the anti-prank." He smiled like the cat that got the cream. A mad-eyed Remus stared back at him.

"That's… That's diabolical!"

…

**May 1984-**

To say that it was a surprise was an understatement; a week after the full moon Sirius had woken Remus and Harry early and announced that they were late.

"Late for what?" Harry yawned.

"We should have left _ages_ ago." Sirius answered unhelpfully. He told Remus to get dressed and picked Harry up to take him to his room and dress him. Sirius stood at the closet selecting a pair of striped shorts and a plain green t-shirt. He grabbed a pair of black sandals and turned around to Harry.

"Red or blue underwear?"

"Blue please."

Harry was half-way through dressing when Remus wandered into the room, his blue jeans sitting on his hips, his chest bare.

"Have either of you seen my blue t-shirt? You know the one, you bought it for me last week, Sirius." Sirius pretended to think for a while, taking the opportunity to look at as much of Remus' flesh as he could. He hadn't seen Remus in any state of undress since school, and then it had only been glorious glimpses while the shy werewolf dressed in the morning, or on the rare occasions that they went swimming. He had, of course, seen much more of his friend in his head so he etched the sight into his mind. It would lend his dreams an authenticity.

"Uh, no. I don't think so."

"I can find the thing anywhere."

"Wear your plain white one."

"It's not too 'Rebel Without a Cause' is it?"

"Can anything be too Rebel Without a Cause?"

Remus gave Sirius a look that said yes, it was possible.

"I think it's classic. Or, you could always stay the way you are…" His lip quirked when Remus blushed.

"The white shirt it is, then" Remus answered as he beat a hasty retreat a nervous hand running through his hair.

Soon they were ready to go. They left as they usually did, the wards placed behind them as they walked to somewhere where they could apparate.

"Are you going to tell us where in merlin's name we're going?"

"No."

"Then how are we supposed to get there?"

In response Sirius merely adjusted Harry on his hip and took Remus by the hand.

"Trust me." He winked and Remus liked to think that it was the side-along apparition that made his heart race. He knew that wasn't it, though.

They came out of the spin and in to what Remus thought was a postcard. He stood in a green garden, the Great Pyramids of Cairo in the middle distance. He held onto Sirius' hand until Harry spoke.

"Where are we?"

"In Egypt." Remus drank in the view in front of him.

"This is a holiday, Harry. We are going to spend the next week in this wonderful hotel, people will bring us food on request, we will see new and wonderful things, we'll shop like mad buggers and we'll go home tired and needing a holiday from this holiday."

"I assume some of this shopping will be for clothing?"

"Oh, ye of little faith. Where did you think your favourite shirt was?" Sirius patted his pocket.

"You packed suitcases and they're in your pocket?"

"I am capable of a shrinking charm you know."

"I hope your packing skills have improved. In sixth year you packed a suitcase full of turnips and a packet of cigarettes for a five night camping trip."

"In all fairness that was during my 'Dali' phase."

They got inside the hotel and into their room and Remus was pleasantly surprised to find that Sirius' packing had been both sensible and thorough, almost pleased enough to not feel the sting when he saw that there were two single beds and not a queen-size in the room.

Sometimes he forgot that they weren't together.

…

**June 1984-**

Sirius was glad that Harry was so small he knew that in later years the boy might find Father's Day troubling. He and Remus hadn't mentioned it at all and were treating the day like any other so it was with wide, shocked eyes that they took the pictures in handmade popsicle-stick-frames from the boy at lunchtime.

"Happy Father's Day!" He had squealed.

"Wow, when did you make these?" Sirius asked as he surveyed the smiling Harry in the picture. He was standing in a garden. Behind him a gnome wandered into the shot and made rude hand gestures.

"At Ron's house."

Sirius and Remus shared a look. A look that was interrupted by an owl colliding with the kitchen window. Errol recovered quickly enough when Sirius held out an owl treat.

_Remus and Sirius,_

_I know that you are probably quite shocked about receiving gifts today and I hope you don't mind. Last time Harry was here Ron was a little excited about Father's Day and, well, you know Ron. Harry then insisted that you would both love one._

_He wouldn't take no for an answer._

_Molly._

_P.S- I'm dreadfully sorry about the special guest appearance in the picture. I was going to take another picture but Harry wouldn't have a bar of it, he said you'd like that picture because of the gnome._

They picked a sufficiently public spot in the house to put Remus' picture and Harry asked a few times to be sure that Sirius would proudly display his as well. Once he had been assured again he looked a little nervous.

"What's wrong Harry?"

"I made another one… for Daddy. Can we take it to him?"

"Of course we can. We can go now if you like." Remus answered softly.

They left soon after, Harry spending only a few seconds placing it on the grave and wishing his father a happy day. As they were leaving Sirius cast one last glance at the smiling photograph. He thought it was the last time he would see it.

…

_**TOUCHING TRIBUTE FROM THE BOY-WHO-LIVED**_

A picture of Harry's gift to his father sitting on the cold stone of the grave took up nearly the entire front page. Sirius wouldn't have seen it at all; he didn't read the paper, had Remus not started yelling at the name of the reporter. He had cursed the woman to the ends of the earth and had vowed once again to keep Harry safe from the vultures like her. Sirius ran to the kitchen and caught sight of the headline.

"Bastards." He muttered as he screwed the paper up and threw it into the bin.

"I wonder sometimes, if I can always protect him from people like that…"

"You won't be able to forever, one day he'll go out into the world and have to fight it. But he'll know that we will always be there with him." Remus nodded but he still looked murderous.

"Okay?" Sirius double-checked.

"Okay. But I'm cancelling the bloody subscription."

"I don't know why you read that rubbish in the first place."

"Habit." Remus shrugged.

Sirius hoped that he too wasn't merely one of Remus' habits.

…

**July 1984-**

It was Harry's birthday. Sirius felt breathless when he thought about the last twelve months. It had flown by and Harry was four.

_Four, bleeding hell._

Once again they were throwing a party at the cottage. This time Remus had made a pack of balloon poodles and Sirius had enchanted them to run and play like regular dogs. They were outside again, the table laden with more food than would realistically be eaten. The entire Weasley clan and the Order members were joined this year by a shy boy and his stern grandmother.

"Hey, my name's Harry." Harry introduced himself by sticking out a hand.

"Neville." He replied offering his own. It wasn't long before they had all introduced each other to each other and were playing happily. Remus did overhear Neville telling the twins, who seemed a little too attentive, that wormwood made you see things that weren't there but apart from that the party went off without a hitch. This time there wasn't the interruption of having to go and capture a wanted criminal and the party wrapped up fairly late, Harry having almost fallen asleep on the lounge twice after everyone retired inside. Remus picked Harry up and tucked him into bed before he joined Sirius in the kitchen cleaning up the mess.

"I'm just going to clear these last few things up and I'll head home." Sirius announced as Remus answered the room.

"Why don't you stay?"

"I really shouldn't. I don't remember the last time I slept in my own bed. I barely know what my house looks like."

Remus vanished a few more plates of food, thinking as he did so. Eventually he turned away slightly from Sirius and spoke.

"Why don't you stay permanently? Like you said you're here all the time anyway and Harry adores you. It worked once before, didn't it?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Sirius answered. He saw the old insecurities wash over Remus.

"Why not?" The hurt in his voice shook Sirius to his core, but he couldn't be silent anymore. Hell, or high water something had to be said.

"I just can't pretend anymore." Sirius answered. Remus trembled.

"I just can't pretend that every second of every day I don't want to touch you. I can't pretend that you don't set me on fire every time you brush by me. I dream about you and I long for you and for the longest time I thought that I couldn't tell you. Now I know that I was just building myself another prison. I'm breaking out. I love you. I have since I met you, I think. And I know now that I'll never stop." He gazed at Remus who stood stock still and unblinking, staring at his shoes. Sirius sighed and strode out of the house.

"Fuck!" He muttered as he went.

"Wait! Sirius!" Remus called just as the other man got to the front stairs. Sirius turned, unwilling to hear whatever bumbling platitudes Remus was going to throw at him.

He didn't get any.

Instead he had Remus' long, tapered fingers wrap around his wrist and his other hand cup his cheek as Remus' pressed hungry lips to his. The other man tasted like chocolate and tea and dreams come true. The firm warmth of the longed-for mouth mingled with a hot, flicking tongue and Sirius wondered if he had died. Soon the mouth pressed against his turned into a smile. Sirius pulled out of the kiss and Remus put two arms around him.

"I'm glad one of us finally said something…" He whispered into Sirius' ear. The breath prickled the small hairs on Sirius' neck, driving him mad. Before long he was kissing Remus again wondering the whole time why he hadn't done it years ago.

…

There you go lovelies… I hope MorphieandMelina is happy with the kissing…


	30. Raising Harry Part Thirteen

Raising Harry- the ending.  
So, somehow I've managed to wrap this up in the MOST depressing way possible, but it's cute-ish… Just read it, I hope it's a worthy ending and I promise some fluff and smut soon!

…  
"When I kissed him for the first time he was as stiff as a board', he smiled quietly and reached out a hand to Remus, intertwining their fingers before continuing, 'in _all_ the right places."  
Harry groaned, he should have known that Sirius would answer his earnest questions about a certain divine redhead with some dreadfully embarrassing anecdote. Remus obviously agreed with Harry, he had flushed a strange pink colour and Sirius sat between them laughing like a loon.  
"I really didn't need to hear that." Harry finally retorted when it became apparent that all Remus was going to do was his best-ever beetroot impersonation. _There must be some truth to the story_ he thought before he pushed the images out of his head.  
"You did ask." Sirius answered.  
"I asked for _advice_ not horrifying mental images of you two horny bastards going at it."  
"I always get those two things mixed up…"  
Harry looked stricken, sending a silent imploring look to Remus; 'help me' it said.  
"Just be yourself." Remus reassured. Harry sighed.  
"Look, it's not the most original advice that we've ever given you, but it's as good as any other. Any bird that needs you to jump through hoops and change your hair and start wearing anoraks or whatever isn't worth it… Besides, she's mad for you."

…  
Harry squeezed his wife's hand as the music started.

_Will you stay in our Lovers' Story  
If you stay you won't be sorry  
'Cause we believe in you  
Soon you'll grow so take a chance  
With a couple of Kooks  
Hung up on romancing_

The two matching caskets sat at the front of a very large congregation. Maroon and gold was everywhere and the flowers filled the room with a smell so heavenly it seemed to sing. It seemed fitting that they had died together, minutes apart. Sirius going first and Remus following him to the great beyond without ever knowing he had to live eight whole minutes without his soul mate. They had died in bed, a peaceful death, and it had fallen to Harry to say farewell to another set of parents, but by now Harry was an old man, his own grandson about to begin Hogwarts. It hadn't made it any easier. Ginny turned to him and wiped the tear away from his cheek with a wrinkled hand. Harry tried to focus on the man who stood now to give the first eulogy.

Neville had aged very well, his hair still dark, his eyes keen and his jaw set as he stared down his grief and began.  
"I worked for many years with Remus. He had been my Defence against the dark arts teacher, and was the yardstick by which I measured my own achievements as a professor. His kindness and gentle guidance first showed me that I could learn and also inspired me to teach. He was appointed headmaster following the death of dear Minerva McGonnagal and while he had very large shoes to fill he approached his post like he did everything else, with the utmost grace and good humour…"

Remus held the parchment out in front of him with a shaking hand.  
"I'm seeing things." He announced as Sirius took the proffered paper. Harry sat and watched from the couch, he had come back for the funeral and had a small break from auror training.  
"Minnie wanted you to be headmaster and the governors agreed." Sirius summarized the letter.  
"I can't do that!"  
"Why not? You're the best bloody teacher Hogwarts has ever had, all the students love you- even a few of the snakes _and_ if anyone can do it, you can."  
"But what about-"  
"Sometimes I think the only person with a problem with your condition is you. You have been allowed to teach all these years. Wolfsbane has meant huge progress in the civil rights movement for werewolves-"  
"Thanks to an anonymous, incredibly rich benefactor."  
"I'm sure I have no idea who that could be. Point is- times have changed and you're getting a promotion that you deserve."  
"I feel as though I'm stepping over her corpse."  
"She wanted you to fill the space she left here, she loved you."  
Remus had run out of reasons why he couldn't do it and set his jaw. Now he had accepted it he was going to throw himself into the role.  
"Congratulations! You deserve it." Harry cheered through a mouthful of cereal.  
"Thanks, Harry."

…  
We bought a lot of things  
To keep you warm and dry  
And a funny old crib on which the paint won't dry  
I bought you a pair of shoes  
A trumpet you can blow  
And a book of rules  
On what to say to people  
When they pick on you  
'Cause if you stay with us you're gonna be pretty Kookie too.

They had moved into the professor's quarters at the beginning of Harry's third year. Few people had even asked about Harry's family arrangements and so it came as a bit of a shock when Harry moved in with his 'two dads'. But then, when one of those dads was the best teacher there could be and the other was a denim-wearing, flying-motorcycle-owning, incredibly wealthy animagus with a way with curses, the taunts dry up pretty quickly. Harry didn't really care about anything anyone had to say about him- Moony and Pads made him bulletproof. He couldn't remember a time without them and the day he found his father's quidditch trophy they had been there to answer his questions and dry the guilty tears of a boy who couldn't remember his father. They had been there for him since he was tiny- leading him by the hand down the road that was his life, giving him advice about girls, exams, teaching him how to cook, reading bed-time stories, ignoring the porn-stash under his bed, and loving him for who he was.

…  
Ginny finally relinquished Harry's hand and stood when it was her turn to talk.  
"If it hadn't been for the two beautiful men we came here to remember my life would be, it's safe to assume, very different. I owe my every happiness, every sunshiny moment I've had since school, my beautiful family and my wonderful husband to these two men, and I can't help but wonder how to repay them… Remus once told me that the ancient Egyptians believed that you would continue to live forever in the afterlife as long as you were remembered, so I'd like to tell a few stories about the men themselves. I remember Sirius telling me how they had fallen in love with each other at Hogwarts and it was after years, Sirius' false imprisonment and Harry's coming to live with Remus that they finally admitted their feelings to one another, he went on to tell me about their first date…" 

He knocked on the door and tried his hardest not to fidget. In seconds the door was flung open by a thin man. The eyes of the visitor washed over him as he stood there smiling. The visitor's eyes finally fell to the decoration against the other man's neck. He tried valiantly to stifle a guffaw and failed miserably. Finally he found some composure and spoke.

"Is that a bow-tie?" An inquisitive eyebrow accompanied the question.

"So what if it is?" A challenging eyebrow rose in response.

"I'm sorry, I'm just touched… Sirius Black wearing a bow-tie just for me!"

Sirius pouted and started to grumble "I thought you'd like it. You always used to tell me I needed to be neater…" After that it descended into muttering. To redeem himself Remus kissed Sirius and conjured a huge bunch of flowers.

"I love it! I really do, it was just surprising, that's all."

Sirius smiled.

"Besides, I've never dated a ventriloquists dummy before."

Sirius pursed his lips and stared at the laughing man in front of him. "Ha fucking ha."

"I couldn't resist, forgive me?"

In response Sirius held out an arm and walked Remus down the path.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." Sirius was no longer in a huff, excited to show Remus what he had planned. He spun on his heel, holding onto Remus' arm as he apparated suddenly.

"Merlin, a bit of warning wouldn't have gone astray!" Remus grumbled when they arrived.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist."

Remus was about to say something when he saw a small pagoda in the middle-distance. It was lit with a thousand lights and beneath it there was a metal table and chairs. They made their way over to the setting and Remus sat down. Before him there was an enamel plate and an empty jam jar.

"My, it's…"

"The first meal we had in the flat… but they demolished the old building… here seemed as good a place as any." Sirius grinned sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind."

"I think it's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done."

"Shall we start?"

"Please." Sirius waved a hand and a piece of toast with melted cheese appeared on the plates before them. Remus didn't want to ruin this moment by talking, so he took a bite of his grilled cheese. It was delicious, and it took him a minute to realise that Sirius wasn't eating, he was sitting opposite, staring at him, a strange light in his eyes.

"You know I wanted you to move in because I was absolutely and totally in love with you and I couldn't bear the thought of you not being there, reading a book on the lounge in the evenings, or burning your toast in the morning because you're still half-asleep. I don't think I ever truly thought I'd tell you how I felt… I wish I had. I wasted so much time."

"Making up for it now though, aren't we? Finally."

They sat and ate in silence, just happy to be where they were, with each other. When the first course was completed the plates filled with spaghetti. Dinner was completed with increasing conversation, as each man spilled a thousand little moments to the other, sewing the patchwork of a great romance they both thought might never happen. Finally over tea Sirius made a final confession.

"I always hoped that I might walk in on you in the shower." Sirius blushed.

"I always left the door a little ajar, just in case you did." Remus reached a hand out to caress Sirius' fingers.

"Look, I know we agreed to take this all slowly, but I think we've already done that…" Remus purred the sentence and all Sirius could do in reply was to nod. They stood, still holding hands and apparated to the cottage. That night was the first they shared a bed, and by noon the next day Sirius had moved his things in.

…  
"…I must admit that as much as I loved these two blokes I was a little concerned when they were put in charge of planning Harry's buck's night, and I was right to be worried. The state in which he was returned to me was ridiculous, luckily they also came bearing gifts…"

Harry lay face-down on the carpet, his glasses had been lost somewhere over Kent and he was wearing nothing but a pair of y-fronts, which was very strange because they weren't Harry's underwear of choice.

"What did you _do_ to him?" Ginny demanded.

"Nothing… That's how you're supposed to look after a buck's night. Just be thankful we arranged it for a month before the wedding. Now, Harry mentioned that there was a teensy problem with your dress." Sirius stepped over his prone godson and steered Ginny into the sitting room.

"One of my idiot brothers spilled a shrinking potion on it yesterday at the final fitting."

"Never fear, dear Ginevra. Moony and Padfoot have the solution!" Sirius gestured towards the door expectantly. Nothing happened.

"I said WE HAVE THE SOLUTION!"  
Still nothing happened. Sirius strode to the door and stuck his head around.

"Where the fuck is the fucking solution?"

"Sorry, I was just making sure that Harry was still breathing. He's fine!" Remus finished when a panicked look crossed Ginny's face. Finally he and Sirius presented Ginny with a box. Ginny opened it and pulled back the crepe paper to reveal a mauve dress, a thousand flower buds decorated it.

"Go and try it on." Sirius beamed, as Ginny ran from the room. When she returned she was covered in a thousand flowers, the buds opening when the dress was worn. The bodice was fitted and a small train trailed behind her.

"Where did you get this from?" Ginny asked as she conjured a mirror and watched her reflection.

"It was Lily's. We found it in a pile of things last week. When we heard of the unfortunate dress ruination we thought you might like to wear it."

…

Harry took a deep, steadying breath and stood between the wooden boxes that held everything that had made him who he was today, he touched each with a gentle hand, searching for something in the wood grain that just wasn't there. It took his a few seconds to realise that there was nothing in these unfeeling boxes, that he and everyone in the room held the keys to their legacy. He slowly looked around and started to speak.  
"I can't help but feel cheated, even now, as I guide my own children and grandchildren, that Pads and Moony won't be there for me to lean on, to share a cup of tea as we figure out what to do about this one's grades or that one's rather torrid love life or even, to slurringly solve the world's problems over a bottle of firewhiskey. But it's just occurred to me that they are always here with us, in us all. Sirius sits upon the shoulder-length hair of the teenage rebel. Remus sits in the quiet moments when we enjoy a cup of tea and a good book. They are there in the sigh of young lovers and the confidence of old ones. They are the hands that shaped me and pushed me toward my destiny, they are the ones who I have to thank for everything. They are the ones I will miss for the rest of my life. The pain of their passing cuts like a knife, but the lessons they taught me should go some way to healing it. I loved them dearly and am richer for knowing them. Thank you for your confidence and your intelligence, your sense of humour and your love. Thanks for all of your strengths and weaknesses. But most of all, thanks for raising Harry." 


End file.
